u/Charming-Goat-774

Hi! i am writing my thesis about toxic relationships in young adult dramas and i was wondering if anyone here could help me with some insights from their personal experiences. i’m mainly focusing on After by Anna Todd, but really any YA drama fits my topic and i feel like wattpad is really THE place for YA dramas. i am focusing on the relationships between men and women, so lgbt media doesn’t fit my topic (sorry </3)

so, i’m specifically looking for women 18+ who consumed this type of media when they were around 11-17 to try and discover if these types of shows, movies and books influenced their perception of love. (if you are comfortable with sharing your age now, and the age you were when you read After/ the YA drama, this would help a lot)

when you first read/ watched the YA drama as a young teen, what was your opinion of the main relationship (tessa and hardin/ harry)? what was it about the male protagonist (hardin/harry) that you liked? did you aspire to have a relationship like them? have you ever found yourself in a relationship similar to them and thought that it was acceptable because that’s what “true love” looked like to you? if there was another male in the book, “the good guy” (ex: noah in after) what did you think about him? did you find the relationship between the female protagonist and the “good guy” boring? if the female character cheated on the “good guy”, did you excuse the infidelity, and what was your reason for excusing it?

how has your idea of that relationship changed now that you’ve grown older? do you still ship them, or do you think they shouldn’t be together? would you say this series romanticizes abuse, and that it is harmful for younger viewers or readers?

are you able to still enjoy the book or movies without actually wanting the characters to be together? does the fact that this is fictional change how you perceive the couple? (ie. you find it okay because they are not real, but if they were real people you would be against their relationship)

This might be a bit personal, so feel free to skip if you’d prefer. If you watched or read this series at a young age and didn’t romanticize the relationship, where did you get your understanding of relationships instead? For example, did it come from your parents, friends’ families, or other influences?From what I’ve researched, many adolescents tend to look to media for ideas about love and sex rather than to their parents. Do you think having a healthier “blueprint” for relationships influenced your ability to see this relationship as unhealthy?

i myself read a lot of fan fics on wattpad at around 13, and they were all the same type of “good virgin girl falls for bad boy womanizer” trope. because i was young and my parents weren’t really in love, i didn’t have any good role models for what love actually looked like. so instead i turned to media to learn. i searched for a boy that would treat me the way hardin/ Harry treated tessa, thinking that’s what real romance was. it took me some time to unlearn, that’s what provoked my interest in this subject. i understand that it is fictional and to a certain extent it is my fault for romanticizing it, but from the research i’ve been doing adolescents mainly turn to media for guidance on experiences that have not had yet, and because they are young and impressionable, it has a strong influence on how they grow up and perceive relationships when they’re older.

once again i really don’t mean to offend anyone. i’m just a student trying to collect some research from real fans on a platform where we can have a POLITE discussion.

thank you for reading and appreciate anyone’s responses or experiences :))

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