u/Charming_Vehicle905

Can someone buy IPMAT/JIPMAT prep for CAT prep? Are they similar or are they different?

Does anyone plan to join the REC, RMZ Millenia Business Park - off campus?

Is it good to join?

I feel super lonely throughout my life except some familial moments. No friends. A weirdo. No interest in anything. Lazy. Nitpicker. Never video called friends after lock down. Never called anyone other than delivery drivers and family members and teachers. Life is exhausting. Don't think God's on my side. Rude most of the times. Incapable. Incompetent. Inept. The weakest soldier mentally. Not suicidal.

I have a good family. Not really many friends. I'm alone all the time. Got used to being alone since grade 9. Took a drop to prepare because I fucked up my grade 12 (Math pulled me down). I was lethargic throughout my drop year. Although I was the happiest in my drop year. Watched movies I never watched before, listened to songs I never heard before. Done a lot of things. I was at my most stupidest phase of life but also the phase where I was mentally happy and was okay with embracing my loneliness. I don't have anyone to openly talk and don't mind it.

Like I said, I messed up my drop year. Marks I scored are borderline because of rank inflation. Gosh! I have joined a college to do BSc Adv Zoology and Biotech and not sure whether this field is a good one. I want a better college but I'm so poor at executing it. I'm honestly okay with passing away any moment. Not like I did anything significant for anyone to remember me. I'm living because I still have my life intact and I can live? It's honestly sad that people who want to live and enjoy life are dying of terminal cancer and here I am, who doesn't enjoy life has to live. Idk, I have never gone out with friends. I'm only 19 (18 and will turn 19 soon). I get that I am young and I have a lot to experience. I'm trying to make friends but I kind of feel like no friend would ever be my only bsf (can't really expect anyone to be your only bsf) and I am bad at making friends stay long.

I feel like I'd be happy. Doesn't matter if I exist or if I do not. Not suicidal. Just don't mind dying any moment. Idek why I should live or why I should contribute to a society when I can just run away, hide and ugh

Is this what they call existential crisis?