u/Cheeky_Edge311

Sorry, I know the title is confusing.

I (28F) recently went to Koh Tao for a day to do a one day "discover scuba" course. In a classic fashion, I ended up staying several weeks and pushing back all my other travels. I left with my advanced and enriched air cert, having done a little over 30 dives.

I'm back in my home country now and want to do my divemaster, and eventually to get my search and rescue cert. I want to start planning now so I can start saving and have a set goal.

Here's where I need help. I love diving, and I liked Koh Tao, but much like Bali the costs are rocketing and it is filled with families, children, tourists with rolling suitcases, and new developments of luxury hotels and brunch spots. It was very hard to make friends because everyone around me spent all their time on their phones looking at Instagram, or drinking expensive cocktails in nearby beachfront bars with western food. Even at hostels most people didn't want to socialize and the ones who did just asked for my social media accounts (which I don't have, much to the shock of everyone around me; one girl even asked me "how I survive without social media," and those comments were really common). I even saw someone getting upset at the hostel staff when there was no hot water for less than one day, on an island with a clean water shortage. I went to three dive centers until I found one that was safe and competent and all the dive centers on the island are more factory-like than community-based, which I guess is to be expected. It all just felt so .... commercialized, mass-tourism oriented, and, ... soulless, maybe? I can't find the word I'm looking for, but hopefully someone understands what I mean.

I'm looking for somewhere that's more for backpackers and adventurers, and has a good community feel. I'm okay with places that are less developed and have less western amenities. I have solo traveled over 30 countries as a woman in my 20s, including India and Ghana, so I'm familiar with roughing it a bit. Safety is important, but I just really want to be somewhere calm and beautiful where I can get my divemaster cheap, look at a beach, dive all day without breaking the bank, and meet other people who want to socialize, that has more of an identity and a real community feel.

Costs and sense of community are important to me, but I'm not sure the place I'm looking for exists, so I wanted to reach out to other divers and ask if anyone has any recommendations.

Thanks for reading, everyone.

[supprimé]

Hi everyone, I'm looking for someone to study for the NCLEX with. I have friends from school but our schedules are vastly different and they have childcare obligations that can make choosing a specific time really difficult.

I'm looking for someone who I can share information and study tips (mnemonics, tips and tricks, materials, study guides, educational games, etc.). I'm only 30 days away from the NCLEX so someone who's on that same time frame and level would be awesome. ​I'm really looking for someone who also has the test right around the corner so not beginner material.

I make jeopardys, study guides, and try to make learning fun and engaging. I used to be a second grade teacher so I really like finding fun ways to learn. If anyone else is interested maybe I could make a study game or resource, and you could make one as well and then we could share and do them together via Zoom or something and talk in real time about information.

Thanks for reading and I'm excited to maybe find a new study partner!

So at 29 I now make a somewhat living wage. I grew up in the kind of poverty people who didn't experience it or see it don't even seem to know still exists in America. I was homeless, lived in a car with my mom before she went back to jail, bounced between random family members, didn't always have running water or electricity or food, etc. I finally graduated high school while living in a shack in Arkansas that had no walls and no working toilet.

Flash forward to now and I'm starting to finally make a living wage. I've lived abroad, received multiple stem degrees with honors, and am now in a developed coastal US state for a new job. I have a ton of student debt that I'm paying as aggressively as I can, I'm going to therapy, I'm starting at a gym next month, and I'm saving and living below my means and I even opened up an IRA. I can afford to get my hair cut for the first time in years. I can afford my bills and to get groceries, and I have health insurance. To me, that's wealth.

Here lies the problem:

Growing up I wasn't taught anything about budgeting, investing, saving, etc. In college I thought IRA was the wealthy kids' rich aunt or something.

I went to get a facial today. First time in my life. I just wanted to do something nice for myself. The woman asked me questions about my "skincare routine" and how often I go to the spa and where I'd be going for the summer. I had no idea what was going on and felt dumb. She asked questions that I didn't even know where questions because it was just ... words, and it isn't the first time I've just felt so incredibly out of place in environments that are normally reserved for those with money. I looked around on my walk back to my beat up car and everyone on the street looked so ... clean. There were no homeless people and everyone looked pieced together and well fed and like they had an air about them I'll never have. It's like they have no stress in the world and nothing on their minds except where they'll eat out at.

I don't know what to order at company outings or how to pair wine. I don't know how to find and buy clothes that fit me and feel uncomfortable spending money on myself. I could buy new socks but I'm still wearing socks in holes in them. I don't know how to cook because growing up all my "groceries" came from gas stations and the local Dollar General. When I got my license I drove to Walmart and that was luxury. I have health insurance but don't know how often I'm supposed to go to what doctor or how to make appointments and find doctor's or what types of doctors I even need.

I don't know how to take care of myself. I don't know how to find that medium between lifestyle creep getting the best of me and taking care of myself. I'm learning as I go and doing my absolute best, but I cant help but look at others my age and feel like they got a manual I didn't get. I think I'm doing a great job saving and learning, but it's like other people got taught how to act and dress and eat and ... exist. Like no matter how much I make I'll never be taught what they were taught about taking care of yourself and setting yourself up for success and I'll spend my life trying to catch up. The learning curve seems almost impossible.

Did anyone else here experience this? Does anyone have good resources for learning or finding that medium between lifestyle creep and self-care? I'm working with my therapist on this, but it's always nice to know you're not alone and to hear from others.

TL;DR: You can take the girl out of poverty but you can't take the poverty out of girl.

Hello lovely, witchy pals. Today is my 29th birthday and I'm having an existential crisis. I guess coming to terms with it being the last year of my 20's is really hitting me. when I was younger I had all these dreams and ambitions. I went to over 40 countries and got three degrees and speak multiple languages. I worked so hard because I came up in foster care. I assumed that by now I'd have more of a community and family of my own. That I would have compensated for not having a biological family, but here I am. Divorced and spending my birthday alone (with my dog, who keeps me holding on).

Can someone tell me it's going to be okay, and that I won't spend every birthday alone? I really thought my 20s would just be amazing and that I would do more, but I feel so disappointed and alone.

The birthday blues are very real and I'd love to hear from others. Thanks for reading my post. ❤️

I am an older student (turning 29 next week, actually), who completed an ABSN in 16 months as I already had a graduate degree in an unrelated STEM field. Towards the end of school I started going to therapy as this program has taken a real toll on me, and it was exacerbated by external problems (some serious family and life-related issues occurred while I was in the program that took a lot of juggling and emotional/time investments on top of the academics.).

My pinning was yesterday and I graduated cum laude (00.02 away from magna cum laude but honestly, at this point, who cares, a degree is a degree). I worked so hard in school and felt so isolated from my piers who were mostly younger and with very different life experiences and personalities. The program for me was incredibly isolating and I studied alone and tried to just keep to myself. My professors were ... bullies. I know that sounds harsh, but they were some of the most rude, unhappy, inconsiderate people I've ever met. I was told word-for-word at one point "stop asking to do things, skills, skills, skills [OP Name] that's all you want to do," and, by another professor, "you're not a real nurse yet, just sit at the nursing station and stop asking them questions and getting in the way." I was not allowed to practice any skills and was told that is not the point of me having clinical hours. My professors emphasized they did not want to teach, they simply wanted to take on rolls that were not bedside. It was an all-around negative experience from start to finish. I thought that for this reason I would be thrilled that it was over. I never have to see those people again (I already have a job offer out of state in another compact state and will not be working anywhere near any of them). No more clinical hours or mean preceptors or discussion posts or mean comments about my life choices from peers (one of whom told me that because I don't have kids I "hate children" - despite the fact I used to teach second grade). I never have to deal with any of that from those people again, and I'll get a job that, if I'm not treated fairly at, I can just work on finding another.

The issue is, though, since finishing classes, loved ones and those in my community keep being happy for me, but I'm not happy for myself. I don't know why. I know I've accomplished something huge, but I don't understand why I feel so apathetic and still feel so incredibly stressed. I'm still having dreams that I'm at my clinicals, or wake up thinking "oh my god I'm late" (my clinicals were 50 miles away from me each way, 13 hours long, multiple days a week, and I had to wake up at 4am to get to - the university chose our clinical hospitals instead of us finding our own, and we got what we got, no changes allowed). I feel like the NCLEX is looming over me like a dark cloud and I don't want to celebrate right now because it isn't truly finished, even though people keep treating me like it is.

I have a job lined up and desperately need to get this done so I can have an income again but I'm having a hard time focusing on anything to study for my NCLEX. All my peers yesterday looked so incredibly happy and were hugging each other and truly so ecstatic. I was the only person who wasn't smiling and jumping and hugging those around them and spreading the "congratulations" to classmates and family members and loved ones.

I'm assuming this is just burnout, but even if so, why am I not happy to have this resolution of a chapter, especially since it was a chapter I absolutely did not enjoy. Has anyone else had this experience, or does anyone have some advice they would like to share? I would really like to hear from others about their experiences and emotions surrounding graduation/pinning, similar or different.

Thanks for reading! I appreciate the community.