u/Chiefrunner123

Who here made real money after age 55? After you had to start over.

I’m 52. Have been dating a man off on for 4 years. He professes faith. There have been many issues. I have often broken up bc I didn’t feel this was headed to marriage. He would come back each time boldly declaring love and a future. Then he’d pull away at signs of me needing any emotional support (regular life things). Most recently, I’m facing significant personal challenges. We live in a smaller community and if these personal challenges found out, would lead to gossip. My oldest son also battled severe depression and recently I’ve been scared he’s suicidal. My BF will express words that communicate he hates that I’m in pain, but he will pull away and has said the situation is not “ideal for him” and he just wants peace. Now, I recognize that it’s ok if a person feels another’s issues are too much.. and respect it (why I’ve walked away repeatedly). But he has promised repeatedly we are each others’ person. I welcome thoughts in this as it regards to faith based manipulation/how a man should treat a woman romantically biblically. I’ve come to the conclusion that this is emotional abuse and I have cut all ties. I’m currently just working through the grief of this and it will be ok. But I’d welcome thoughts on this and especially from the men. Is it dramatic to call this emotional abuse? I’m 52/ he’s 54. We are each divorced and functioning well otherwise and what I mean is we each have great careers/ have raised families/ keep up with exercise routines/ community service. I think I’m trying to say it looks like we as individuals are living well. I on the inside feel this issue leaking into all areas of my life and want to biblically understand it so I can let God take this. Ty.

Im 52 YO. Dating 54 YO. We are both believers. Went to his church together just a bit in the beginning. Have had an on again /off again relationship. I have a church home I love. So does he. I would like this though to be integrated. He doesn’t. He’s been married twice. Didn’t go to church with either of his wives. We’ve been together 4 years… on/off. He’s also not certain he’d like to marry again. I do want marriage. I welcome thoughts on this.

Im 52 YO. Dating 54 YO. We are both believers. Went to his church together just a bit in the beginning. Have had an on again /off again relationship. I have a church home I love. So does he. I would like this though to be integrated. He doesn’t. He’s been married twice. Didn’t go to church with either of his wives. We’ve been together 4 years… on/off. He’s also not certain he’d like to marry again. I do want marriage. I welcome thoughts on this.

Im 52 YO. Dating 54 YO. We are both believers. Went to his church together just a bit in the beginning. Have had an on again /off again relationship. I have a church home I love. So does he. I would like this though to be integrated. He doesn’t. He’s been married twice. Didn’t go to church with either of his wives. We’ve been together 4 years… on/off. He’s also not certain he’d like to marry again. I do want marriage. I welcome thoughts on this.

Im 52 YO. Before this person I’m dating, I hadn’t fallen into a relationship pattern like this. I was married for 20 years, and my husband was faithful and didn’t stonewall. Relationships before him/after were “normal” but didn’t work, but didn’t end crazy. This person was the first I’ve experienced a push/pull dynamic with and I realize it has slowly pushed me into compromising things I want in a partnership (marriage / building a life together post divorce in a way that is healthy and considers blended family dynamics). Curious if anyone else here is in that boat? More seasoned in life with a solid career, home, friends. But they’ve stumbled into a relationship with a dynamic that really wrecks the nervous system.. yet have a hard time ending. Where you know intellectually you’d do just fine and probably thrive more without this energy. But you feel stuck. I’d love again to hear from folks who find themselves later in life coming up against this after years of other “normal” relationships.