u/Chocolatedog11

Hello... this is my first time making a post on Reddit. An online friend recommended coming on here after I vented about this. My name is Alba and I am 15 years old, and if you're reading this, thank you. I hope you have a nice day. I know this post is very long, but I would really very much appreciate if you read it all genuinely, and I'd gladly be here for you to vent about whatever in return. I'd also appreciate responses.

Last night and through today, I've been having rather a crisis about something. I'll try my best to explain. It ocurred to me, if I dedicated my time and money and effort and life into saving people's lives and greatly improving them, would I not save lots of people? Like, people across the world that I don't know and are in need. Let me elaborate. As in, focusing on making a lot of money, as much as possible, and then using all of it that isn't for sustaining a basic standard of life for myself, by donating to charities that would use it very well, making trips to aid people in need, paying for people to be able to live. Also things like saving animals and nature. Until yesterday I was set on being a singer-songwriter. It's what I want for my own life. And thought of using money for things like travelling and amazing experiences. But if dedicating my life to what I described, helping the world as much as I can, would result in lives literally being saved, then surely that's worth way more than my happiness in my own life. And the thing that everyone spends their money, time and effort in things that are for themselves and the life around them. Is that not unconsciously extremely selfish and horrible? Most people wouldn't kill someone, even if it benefited themselves. But are we not all constantly letting people die, and live horrible lives, by doing nothing? And it doesn't cross people's minds, just because it is far removed in ways from them? For those who actually consider the extreme suffering of the world and feel bad about it (which I have previously, many times) most think 'I'm one person, I can't do anything about it.' But it's not true, is it? Is that not something we tell ourselves to pacify ourselves and make us feel OK in doing nothing and focusing on our own lives?

So that's made me feel like the world is... wrong?

So now I'm thinking, what do I do? Do I change the course of my life? Do I plan and act for making my life all about helping as many people in the world, and those most in need, as much as possible? Making the world a better place, as much as I can manage?

All this is feels strange and sudden. I look at the people I admire most and find myself questioning how good they really are now. And it doesn't seem like anyone is talking about this or like anyone is living this life that I talk about, a life dedicated to helping the world as much as possible through people and nature. I'm not saying people don't do good and important things, I know people do charity work and people donate money and people make efforts, but I haven't seen people dedicating their lives to what I'm describing. And I'm doubting myself because, I can't be the only person who this has ocurred to? There are many deeply caring, empathic and kind people in the world.

Now, where did all this come from? It was quite sudden. One day, living my life which I'm actually happy in, doing things for myself, living for... myself, and the next having this crisis which has been overbearing of my life. One part of what insentivised is something that AURORA said in an interview. The question was, 'We could never be friends if you...?' and part of her response was 'if you don't see the connection between your actions and what's happening out there and how every small choice is either being a part of the problem or actually helping it'. That stuck with me because I love AURORA so much and am currently very much into discovering her music and she is an AMAZING person, and it doesn't seem like I'm contributing to the world being a better place in terms of environment and stuff. So that got me thinking about stuff in that sense, whether I should change my life to be a lot more environment and nature friendly. Also, I think it would be amazing to talk to AURORA herself about all this. Obviously that's a wild dream. But...yeah.

But what got me to start crisising, and in a more big and intense sense, what scrolling one night and seeing a bunch of things about the Earth, people suffering, pollution, animal suffering, nature. And then there's that I love nature and am empathic and that previously I have felt deeply sad about extreme suffering across the world. So, these things combined led to me getting into this.

Also, on a smaller scale, and as I mentioned before, things like living in a way that minimises my contribution to the very negative human impact on the environment, our world, the life on Earth. Most people think, 'I'm one person, it won't change things.' But that mentality is what creates the problems, accumulatively. So, by living more or less like the average person, in terms of how many resources I use, how much waste I create, am I not the problem? Is it worth it to put time and money and effort into living in a really eco-friendly way?

I feel I can't go back to happily living my little life now. It's night now as I write the end of this and I'm no longer in the panicky, distressing and immediate kind of crisis feeling but this is very much on my mind. 'Normal' life feels... wrong. A part of my mind tries to convince me that I couldn't actually literally save lives. Because if I can, then that surely necessitates that I do all that stuff I've talked about in this post. That's worth more than any personal stuff ever could.

So far, all advice in response to my descriptions of this all has been that I don't have to worry so much, that I can do small things like donating a bit to charity, to take care of my own life, that I can't actually do much and the world is as it is. I feel like all these things are not really at all aligned with what I'm actually saying. Like no one actually gets it. I don't know if anyone will. I don't know what to do.

If you are here, having properly read all of this, then I really appreciate it. Thank you. I appreciate responses, particularly if they're thoughtful. I know this channel is meant for discussion, and I am willing to discuss this.

Love, Alba

Hello... this is my first time making a post on Reddit. An online friend recommended coming on here after I vented about this. My name is Alba and I am 15 years old, and if you're reading this, thank you. I hope you have a nice day. I know this post is very long, but I would really very much appreciate if you read it all genuinely, and I'd gladly be here for you to vent about whatever in return. I'd also appreciate responses.

Last night and through today, I've been having rather a crisis about something. I'll try my best to explain. It ocurred to me, if I dedicated my time and money and effort and life into saving people's lives and greatly improving them, would I not save lots of people? Like, people across the world that I don't know and are in need. Let me elaborate. As in, focusing on making a lot of money, as much as possible, and then using all of it that isn't for sustaining a basic standard of life for myself, by donating to charities that would use it very well, making trips to aid people in need, paying for people to be able to live. Also things like saving animals and nature. Until yesterday I was set on being a singer-songwriter. It's what I want for my own life. And thought of using money for things like travelling and amazing experiences. But if dedicating my life to what I described, helping the world as much as I can, would result in lives literally being saved, then surely that's worth way more than my happiness in my own life. And the thing that everyone spends their money, time and effort in things that are for themselves and the life around them. Is that not unconsciously extremely selfish and horrible? Most people wouldn't kill someone, even if it benefited themselves. But are we not all constantly letting people die, and live horrible lives, by doing nothing? And it doesn't cross people's minds, just because it is far removed in ways from them? For those who actually consider the extreme suffering of the world and feel bad about it (which I have previously, many times) most think 'I'm one person, I can't do anything about it.' But it's not true, is it? Is that not something we tell ourselves to pacify ourselves and make us feel OK in doing nothing and focusing on our own lives?

So that's made me feel like the world is... wrong?

So now I'm thinking, what do I do? Do I change the course of my life? Do I plan and act for making my life all about helping as many people in the world, and those most in need, as much as possible? Making the world a better place, as much as I can manage?

All this is feels strange and sudden. I look at the people I admire most and find myself questioning how good they really are now. And it doesn't seem like anyone is talking about this or like anyone is living this life that I talk about, a life dedicated to helping the world as much as possible through people and nature. I'm not saying people don't do good and important things, I know people do charity work and people donate money and people make efforts, but I haven't seen people dedicating their lives to what I'm describing. And I'm doubting myself because, I can't be the only person who this has ocurred to? There are many deeply caring, empathic and kind people in the world.

Now, where did all this come from? It was quite sudden. One day, living my life which I'm actually happy in, doing things for myself, living for... myself, and the next having this crisis which has been overbearing of my life. One part of what insentivised is something that AURORA said in an interview. The question was, 'We could never be friends if you...?' and part of her response was 'if you don't see the connection between your actions and what's happening out there and how every small choice is either being a part of the problem or actually helping it'. That stuck with me because I love AURORA so much and am currently very much into discovering her music and she is an AMAZING person, and it doesn't seem like I'm contributing to the world being a better place in terms of environment and stuff. So that got me thinking about stuff in that sense, whether I should change my life to be a lot more environment and nature friendly. Also, I think it would be amazing to talk to AURORA herself about all this. Obviously that's a wild dream. But...yeah.

But what got me to start crisising, and in a more big and intense sense, what scrolling one night and seeing a bunch of things about the Earth, people suffering, pollution, animal suffering, nature. And then there's that I love nature and am empathic and that previously I have felt deeply sad about extreme suffering across the world. So, these things combined led to me getting into this.

Also, on a smaller scale, and as I mentioned before, things like living in a way that minimises my contribution to the very negative human impact on the environment, our world, the life on Earth. Most people think, 'I'm one person, it won't change things.' But that mentality is what creates the problems, accumulatively. So, by living more or less like the average person, in terms of how many resources I use, how much waste I create, am I not the problem? Is it worth it to put time and money and effort into living in a really eco-friendly way?

I feel I can't go back to happily living my little life now. It's night now as I write the end of this and I'm no longer in the panicky, distressing and immediate kind of crisis feeling but this is very much on my mind. 'Normal' life feels... wrong. A part of my mind tries to convince me that I couldn't actually literally save lives. Because if I can, then that surely necessitates that I do all that stuff I've talked about in this post. That's worth more than any personal stuff ever could.

So far, all advice in response to my descriptions of this all has been that I don't have to worry so much, that I can do small things like donating a bit to charity, to take care of my own life, that I can't actually do much and the world is as it is. I feel like all these things are not really at all aligned with what I'm actually saying. Like no one actually gets it. I don't know if anyone will. I don't know what to do.

I've put this under existential crisis because it sort of is, in the sense that I'm questioning and doubting and deeply troubled about my life and the world.

If you are here, having properly read all of this, then I really appreciate it. Thank you. I appreciate responses, particularly if they're thoughtful.

Love, Alba

Hello... this is my first time making a post on Reddit. An online friend recommended coming on here after I vented about this. My name is Alba and I am 15 years old, and if you're reading this, thank you. I hope you have a nice day. I know this post is very long, but I would really very much appreciate if you read it all genuinely, and I'd gladly be here for you to vent about whatever in return. I'd also appreciate responses.

Last night and through today, I've been having rather a crisis about something. I'll try my best to explain. It ocurred to me, if I dedicated my time and money and effort and life into saving people's lives and greatly improving them, would I not save lots of people? Like, people across the world that I don't know and are in need. Let me elaborate. As in, focusing on making a lot of money, as much as possible, and then using all of it that isn't for sustaining a basic standard of life for myself, by donating to charities that would use it very well, making trips to aid people in need, paying for people to be able to live. Also things like saving animals and nature. Until yesterday I was set on being a singer-songwriter. It's what I want for my own life. And thought of using money for things like travelling and amazing experiences. But if dedicating my life to what I described, helping the world as much as I can, would result in lives literally being saved, then surely that's worth way more than my happiness in my own life. And the thing that everyone spends their money, time and effort in things that are for themselves and the life around them. Is that not unconsciously extremely selfish and horrible? Most people wouldn't kill someone, even if it benefited themselves. But are we not all constantly letting people die, and live horrible lives, by doing nothing? And it doesn't cross people's minds, just because it is far removed in ways from them? For those who actually consider the extreme suffering of the world and feel bad about it (which I have previously, many times) most think 'I'm one person, I can't do anything about it.' But it's not true, is it? Is that not something we tell ourselves to pacify ourselves and make us feel OK in doing nothing and focusing on our own lives?

So that's made me feel like the world is... wrong?

So now I'm thinking, what do I do? Do I change the course of my life? Do I plan and act for making my life all about helping as many people in the world, and those most in need, as much as possible? Making the world a better place, as much as I can manage?

All this is feels strange and sudden. I look at the people I admire most and find myself questioning how good they really are now. And it doesn't seem like anyone is talking about this or like anyone is living this life that I talk about, a life dedicated to helping the world as much as possible through people and nature. I'm not saying people don't do good and important things, I know people do charity work and people donate money and people make efforts, but I haven't seen people dedicating their lives to what I'm describing. And I'm doubting myself because, I can't be the only person who this has ocurred to? There are many deeply caring, empathic and kind people in the world.

Now, where did all this come from? It was quite sudden. One day, living my life which I'm actually happy in, doing things for myself, living for... myself, and the next having this crisis which has been overbearing of my life. One part of what insentivised is something that AURORA said in an interview. The question was, 'We could never be friends if you...?' and part of her response was 'if you don't see the connection between your actions and what's happening out there and how every small choice is either being a part of the problem or actually helping it'. That stuck with me because I love AURORA so much and am currently very much into discovering her music and she is an AMAZING person, and it doesn't seem like I'm contributing to the world being a better place in terms of environment and stuff. So that got me thinking about stuff in that sense, whether I should change my life to be a lot more environment and nature friendly. Also, I think it would be amazing to talk to AURORA herself about all this. Obviously that's a wild dream. But...yeah.

But what got me to start crisising, and in a more big and intense sense, what scrolling one night and seeing a bunch of things about the Earth, people suffering, pollution, animal suffering, nature. And then there's that I love nature and am empathic and that previously I have felt deeply sad about extreme suffering across the world. So, these things combined led to me getting into this.

Also, on a smaller scale, and as I mentioned before, things like living in a way that minimises my contribution to the very negative human impact on the environment, our world, the life on Earth. Most people think, 'I'm one person, it won't change things.' But that mentality is what creates the problems, accumulatively. So, by living more or less like the average person, in terms of how many resources I use, how much waste I create, am I not the problem? Is it worth it to put time and money and effort into living in a really eco-friendly way?

I feel I can't go back to happily living my little life now. It's night now as I write the end of this and I'm no longer in the panicky, distressing and immediate kind of crisis feeling but this is very much on my mind. 'Normal' life feels... wrong. A part of my mind tries to convince me that I couldn't actually literally save lives. Because if I can, then that surely necessitates that I do all that stuff I've talked about in this post. That's worth more than any personal stuff ever could.

So far, all advice in response to my descriptions of this all has been that I don't have to worry so much, that I can do small things like donating a bit to charity, to take care of my own life, that I can't actually do much and the world is as it is. I feel like all these things are not really at all aligned with what I'm actually saying. Like no one actually gets it. I don't know if anyone will. I don't know what to do.

I've put this under existential crisis because it sort of is, in the sense that I'm questioning and doubting and deeply troubled about my life and the world.

If you are here, having properly read all of this, then I really appreciate it. Thank you. I appreciate responses, particularly if they're thoughtful.

Love, Alba