I’ve had two existential crises in my life.

Sometimes I get this feeling… that no matter what I do or where I go… I’m always alone. People come into my life and I love them but after a season they’re gone weather I want it or not. And then I’m alone again. Is like they never existed, not in the sense that I don’t miss people, just in the sense that we lose touch. I would never think of reaching out if I need a favour from them because they work at a company I want to join for example. People just… evaporate. Does anyone else experience this?

i feel like i’m just in a prison i mean anywhere you go in the world if you screamed as loud as you could and even louder than that to the point where your vocal chords snap and your lungs just explode the amount of people who would even hear you is vastly insignificant compared to the 8 billion people on earth. the only way i can actually be heard is through music and i just don’t have the skill to actually express myself correctly even after 6 years of practice. i know it just takes time and eventually ill get there, but in the moment i just feel like my entire value is just tied to if i can eventually make something IM proud of, and every day that i cant it feels like my entire value is a risk because its all just in my head and none of it exists in the real world yet.

Hi, I’m just here to share 2 poems that I wrote. I have no experience in writing poems but I hope people appreciate this. I wrote them when I was on a low.
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Souls unveiling,
warm blanket of the day-star
encased our fleshy-prison.
Further sailing, drifting,
out on the whale-path.
The feeling of earth’s breath
tickling my fingers.
The beat of drums building,
thunders and echoes.

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Dark eyes, starry-eyed.
my phone, a source of light.
If eyes are windows to the soul,
Souls are like stars.
Pure, gleaming with light.
Phone so bright yet a void.
A void deep and dark,
A black hole eating stars.

I’m a 19-year-old guy who’s into philosophy, and I keep asking myself why I should live or keep going. I don’t have any career plans or future goals, and lately I just don’t enjoy life much. Do I need a vision for my life, or do I just need a girlfriend?

I've lived a lonely life as an only child, all my aunts, uncles and cousins live overseas or are estranged. I have a couple of good friends but they have their own families and we only meet once a year. My dad passed and now i have to look after my mum who has dementia & chronic health issues. I am in my mid-30s, have never been in a relationship. I feel I was born to suffer this "trapped" solitary fate with no help & end in sight. I don't have normal happy experiences that others do. I wish I was never born.

I’m 18(F) and I never thought about death this seriously until a few months ago, I simply didn’t care but when the realization of death and absolute uncertainty hit it hit so fucking bad. I’m diagnosed with OCD, I use 100mg Sertraline daily but that shit doesn’t help anymore.

I can’t cope with the fact that one day I will die, it’s scary and I don’t want to stop experiencing, living. I never believed in any religion or afterlife stuff and I started to believe that we just simply cease to exist since it was the simplest answer. I couldn’t sleep countless nights because of this though. But my spiral didn’t end here because then I remembered the fact that this planet will also be destroyed by our sun one day and this universe will be either face a heat death where nothing will happen or disappear in another way, that’s what science says at least and I can’t help but feel that everything is painfully pointless. No one will remember us and there won’t be anything to remember. Nothing matters because when we die we won’t be able to tell how much time has passed and we can just think that the universe died in a blink of an eye from our subjective perspective. Even if I was immortal I don’t think I would want to experience this awful things. Dying and seeing everything die (if we’re really a part of this reality we also disappear with it so there’s no actual immortality yada yada 🧍‍♂️) are equally scary.

I can’t sleep properly, I’m always tired and always in a derealization state, I can’t focus on my life because I always think about the “bigger” stuff, my life doesn’t feel like “my life” anymore, I can’t get myself to care. I don’t know what to do, I hate that everything will end one day and it’s fucking scary.

A couple of weeks ago I came to the realisation that love as we know it doesn’t really exist in my brain. I do belive we love each other as a species and how we connect with each other, but I don’t belive in that “special someone”. I feel the love we are being portrayed in society is easily replaced by a dog and a whore.

Does anyone else feel the same?

Am I broken for not believing in duality in this aspect?

Where could I even begin? With the poison of 21 years of horror seeping from my pores, a treasure trove of horrors beyond comprehension. I am disgusted by the world I continue to find love in around me. A devastating hero complex, someone who wants to save everyone but can’t even begin to help himself. What a joke. No one can ever understand me because how could they? I think I’m some misunderstood complex mind when the complexity is almost all self imposed. Yes I’ve viewed hell in the face and here I am today, I’ve done that through endless coping and pushing it to the side and bottling it up and hiding it, until now all I’ve swept under the rug trips me everytime I walk on it. It’s a disgusting existence In a world that In its natural state is a violent malicious hellscape where trust is a weakness and love is a sword through your throat. The person holding it the very one you want to save. How can I save that? How can I fix that? No it’s not my job but it’s all I want to do. It’s what has given my life purpose beyond just surviving. I want to be a fixer. I want to be someone that alleviates the suffering around me. I see it. I hate it. I believe so deeply we have so much potential to be so much more. We show it. I feel it. I dream of it. Why must we fall into old ways because it’s easy. Why must I? Why cant we truly ever understand ourselves, we live and love and laugh and cry and understand our own mortality. Why cant we figure out how to make ourselves happy? How to love ourselves enough to love everybody without it damaging your very being. What are we even fucking doing?

I am still a teenager in highschool, I've always handled my thoughts lightly in middle school, but after I've entered high school, my brain gets harder to control. It spirals everytime I don't feed it enough. It's such a chore because it decides which is interesting and important, which is not. And it's not easy finding one good enough. I've always thought my 123 IQ (tested) is light work. It's not. I keep thinking about abstract things. Not something really normal for my age. For example, consciousness, death, existence, universe, nihilism, human's nature, and I can't stop. I keep seeing things in patterns, like human's behavior. How almost every human is selfish to survive, etc. I need advice on how to control my thoughts better.

This causes me more anxiety that I would call sane. I have gone through a gastroscopy, and it does not compare to this. What do you mean "there just is "something"? But then again, how can "Nothing" exist? It does not make sense. Is our brain just too puny?

Better question: How do I know anything is real? If I can not prove anything, how tf do I prove I am not a consciousness floating infinitely through infinite time? Seriously, this is one of my greatest causes of anxiety. My brain makes up some sick belief where I am a suffering god who experiences eternal time unwillingly, and made this world to ease the suffering of erernal existnce. What the fk?

And no no no, my brain doesn't stop there, Every time I try to think about anything deeperx anything in physics, my dumbass tries to fo to the foundations since in a nerdy maths geek who likes axioms. The universe doesn't have axioms. IT IS SEARCHINF FOR SOMETHING THAT DOES NOT EXIST. EVERY TIME. I try to think, "Oh hey, I wonder *why* a higgs boson does this and that' and I'm immidiately jumping to trying to imagine nothing, which cannot exist because it contradicts the idea thaf we live in something. And what, more anxiety and I can't even chill and think about physics anymore?

The worst part is that this is periodic. Most days, it's not even there. Some months, it makes my life poopoo. By the time I get a therapist from the NHS. it is long gone, waiting to prey on me again. No psychological help has worked ao far.

Chat, idk what to ask, I'm at a loss for words. Going through this crap at the big 16 for like 2 years now. Atleast its some proof im smart or somethinf.

(TLDR START HERE)

How do I deal with thinking revursively about nothing? (I mean full nothing, "Why does anything exist if there are conditions for existence? Furthermore, how could nothing exist since it requires a domain to exist in? And lastly, if neither nothing nor something exists, and that means lofic exists fundamentally, ok where does logic come from?") I can not imagine anything of this scale, and it gives me a headache just thinking about it. Its 2:30 and I can't sleep. How do I actually deal with these feelings, and what helped toy?

I have a weird belief that I am a solipsist, creating the world to escape eternal time prison torture. Anyone else? How did you stop this sick belief?

this is very horribly written, i’m currently in the middle of crying so pls give me some pardon. im a colored 16F in high school. i’ve been thinking about my future lately and i genuinely think with the way the world is i’m not going i think im just gonna kill myself. my mom wants to move when i graduate hs and she says i have no choice in staying or going. i want to stay very desperately and i claimed to her that the decision is mine to make when i’m coming of age and she disregards everything i said. i am also into girls (i don’t like labels), i genuinely think she would disown me if she knew i did because she says she didn’t raise her children to be like that. but not only her, many people hate gay people so even if i overcome the fact that my mom will hate me so will society so what’s the point? and even worse i’m also colored and female, so not only will I have the agenda to be stereotyped and unconsidered for positions when i’m only because of my color, even if i do get the positions i have a high possibility of being paid less than a man for my gender. am i having a internal crisis? thinking about all this stuff makes me want to kill myself, but i’m too scared too. i have less than 2 years left before all the problems i just mentioned become very prominent in my life. i don’t think when im 18 i’m gonna be prepared for the mental anguish and i’ll just end up taking the easy way out.

1. Fact: You can't prove solipsism to be true, so your belief in it is just this, a BELIEF, a THOUGHT, why make a THOUGHT your BOSS??.
2. Fact: You don't have the logical capacity to fathom reality so why even BOTHER??
3. Fact: You are conscious, so consciousness exists
4. Fact: consciousness can be happy, and there are ways to cultivate happiness, so why not to focus on that?? People who are happy do not give a shit about 'figuring out' reality.