u/warrior_omega

I am terrified because I will either be annihilated or I will get to see the other side. I am currently a catholic christian since I was brought up like this, i keep going to mass, in the desperate hope that there is a God up there that will answer. I always ask myself: "is it God answering my prayers or am I just guessing that He does?". Don't convince me of stopping hoping because if we are just random arrangements of matter then nothing truly matters and meaning and morality are just social agreements in the Thomas Hobbes way, so doing anything would just be utterly meaningless at the end. I will never know whether there is a God up there who loves us but I will live knowing that, if there is nothing after this life, I won't be debunked.

If we are just a cosmic accident and everything that can't be seen in the material world is just a social convention then nothing truly matters. Morality doesn't matter, love or hate don't matter, good or bad don't really exist.

What gives me hope is my grandpa who was a doctor and when he reanimated a patient the patient had seen, as he was dying and seeing himself float outside of his body, an object (a denture) in a hidden place that, before near death, he had no idea of before seeing it as he was leaving his body. My grandpa also told me that similar things had happened with other reanimated patients so this is a verifiable experiment. I just hope that there is something after this life.

I keep living my life hoping that some invisible hand is helping me, and then, when in 70 years i will be damn sure i am seconds from death, i will tell myself: "ok, i am about to test Pascal's wager myself, be ready..."

I am damn sure that there was 1000 in a 1000 in a 1 trillion trillion gorillion mandrillion gazillion chances of me existing right now to type to you. We are clearly alone in this vaste universe. There won't be alien saviours, we are alone.

Humans have existed for a ton of time, civilization 6,000 years. In all of this time, not even once, have we ever encountered an alien civilization. If FTL were possible, someone would have already explored the planet out of curiosity. To assume that all countries on all alien planets are all collectively against exploring or interacting with Earth is not a good argument since it contradicts what we see in history. To assume that millions of alien countries and peoples all hate visiting Earth is ridicolous. I think that it's beyond obvious that we will keep exploring space for hundreds of years and still find no signals, no habitable planets. Statistics is not a good argument for the existance of other aliens, because statistics will never give you alien bodies or artifacts. For now all of this hypothesizing about aliens is fantasy, it's wishful thinking to explain why the evidence is all against us.

Ok so, in a part of the dream I had yesterday, I saw myself in front of a demon. This thing was red, and werewolf-like, with animalistic eyes and a very dark aura around it, it was black behind it and there was this sort of pink colored labyrinth painted on his chest and belly. It had a vaguely pixelated look, as if I was playing some sort of game. In the top left there were at least 2 buttons, and apparently I had to choose how the demon should have talked to me (as if the evil spirit had already taken my body). One option was through imagination, the other was through a voice in my head. I chose the first and was not sure whether the vague voice I was hearing was his voice (which sounded oddly friendly), so out of curiosity I chose the 2nd option and...dude...I heard this extremely loud horrifying voice speaking inside my mind to the point I started praying for it to stop iirc. It lasted little time but dude it was horrifying.