TW: Mental health crisis, self-harm, paranoia, physical violence/abuse, emotional distress
so my cousin, 33F, really well educated and had dedicated her entire life to studies. among us cousins, she rarely used to attend family functions or events. pure introvert. when she turned 23, relatives started suggesting marriage proposals for her but she rejected saying she'll focus on her studies only. after she crossed the age of 25 her family members started seeing marriage proposals for her. she is dusky and does not fit the societal standards of beauty so every guy her family considered rejected her due to her looks. literally every guy. she kept her focus on her studies. after this the chaos begun. she is a really jealous woman. soon her rivals (females) started settling. jobs, marriage, kids. even her own younger brother got a well paying job before her. meanwhile, all she did was study and missed job exams by few marks. the jobs she landed, she left them cuz her rivals were at a better position than her. she become irritated and begun completely isolating herself from her family. her mother is strict and wanted her to have her own career so she thought she is studying in her room. problem is, studying is the only thing she did. like a coping mechanism. began to sleep at 3 am woke up an hour after to study. every damn day. trust me when I say, all she did was study. not eating her meals, basic hygiene, didn't come out of her room for days. she destroyed her brothers every item in the house cuz yk he became employed first, while she didn't. her mother became really worried and reached out to medical help. 2 months back her mental health completely deteriorated. she became violent. she begun to physically and verbally abuse her family members. today, she ran out of her house. her family called my father to their home and while on his way he spotted her and she said to him that her family members are hitting her (schizophrenia?cuz they didn't touch her instead she is the one hitting them) and pleaded to come to our house. baba bought her to our home on his motorcycle. she came here and ran straight to the terrace where my room is. i was downstairs in the common bathroom. she didn't see me and began freaking out. I went upstairs and she told me her family members were hitting her. to prove her point her tore a bunch of hair and put it in my palms to tell me how they (her family members) hit her. blood was coming out of head where she tore her hairs from. i sat with her and she held my hand tightly and was not letting it go. 15 mins or so, she was calm then her hold on my hand became tighter. she twisted my hand and said "don't get scared they'll not hit you anymore. i am here. they tried to hit me. I'll not let them hit you." while hurting my hand. and when I jerked my hand out of her hold, she kept on blabbering "tell me who hurt you. if you don't say, I'll hit you (raised her hand)" then everybody downstairs rushed upstairs and she got triggered seeing all of them. tore more hairs, broke all the flower pots, hit mostly everybody there, in ways they bled. everybody tried calming her down, when she didn't, they forcefully give her a sleeping injection and took her home.
i am posting this because seeing her like this made me realize how dangerous extreme isolation, constant comparison and making one thing your entire identity can become over time. please don’t glorify self-destruction just because it looks productive.