u/ChopperzKrol

Hey all! So my girlfriend suffers from seizures and has since she was about 12, but didn’t actually recognize or do anything about it until about 2 years ago where she started seeing a neurologist.

Anyways for those 2 years, she was off and on meds as she would struggle to remain compliant on taking it at the proper times. About 3 months ago she started Kepra at 750MG, before this she would seize a few times a week and have some cluster seizures thrown in there(these all typically happened at night in a shower or just before bed but typically her seizures tend to happen at night with no warning besides the “aura” and sick feeling just beforehand. I’ve done some research, I’m no expert obviously nor do I suffer from seizures, but I know they can be caused due to immense stress or changes like hot/cold water, flashing lights, doing things too quickly, etc. this is seems to check out because well, her main seize place is the shower, or at a rave, or just late night shopping and walking around she falls sick.

Anyways, she started Kepra at 750MG a few months back and her seizures went from kinda often to sporadic, maybe once or twice a week to none at all and maybe a cluster of them once a month if that. So to me and her, her seizures improved but not completely absolved.

Her neurologist attempted to put her on a new med that would supposedly do the trick or at least something to try out, but ofc insurance won’t cover. So the doc increased Kepra from 750-1000MG 2 weeks ago. That first week she had her period and she suffers more seizures during that time so when she started to seize more and more she thought nothing of it. This past week, she has still continued to increase her seizing to a few times a day again as if progress was reverting. The past 3 days she began to suffer clusters of 6 or so and then would be fine or well would knock out and go to sleep. Of course during these now increasing amount of seizing, she begins to stress more and panic more etc, but even so a lot of these happened just randomly she fell ill and bam, she’ll have the multiple seizures with no warning, no emotion bringing it on etc.

Yesterday she had so many clusters I had to give her nayziliam spray, which helped a few hours before she began to seize in groups again. Due to this immense stress and over work of her brain, she could no longer walk and if she tried, she seized. Ofc she would almost collapse everytime but I was with her and holding her each time attempting to help her walk but never making it but a few steps; so we went to the ER, where we are now.

She is now being seen by a neurologist and we have done a EKG and now a EEG, but the neurologist said something along the lines of, without any tests even being done, that he thinks she’s having panic attacks, not seizures and that it’s extremely common to confuse them. And I can see how they are similar ofc, but he said this is all most likely due to stress. Not epilepsy/seizures. I don’t agree with him. He then said Kepra, in theory should at 1000MG, halt all seizing. That’s simply makes no sense. She improved her seizures at 750MG and grew worse at a higher dosage, that either means her body needs to adjust and that’s why she’s experiencing more seizures or 1000MG just doesn’t suit her and isn’t the “sweet spot” for that medication for her.

I digress, i believe personally it could easily be a mixture of both panic attacks and seizures but you can’t just eliminate epilepsy and say it’s all stress because a lot of these seizures happen sudden, no warning, no pre existing stress, happy moods, calms moods etc. and if they were due to stress, why would Kepra at 750MG improve her amount of seizures compared to her having no medication. She went from multiple a week plus a cluster possibly, to maybe once or twice if at all while on meds.

I would really appreciate any advice and thoughts from those who know better than me/us and or has experienced this themselves. Thank you.

So we broke up Monday and I’m devastated. We were together about 2 months (I know very short, but it was my first relationship since my divorce, for context I’m M22 my gf F21)

Anyways, things went really fast, it took only a month for her to move in, she needed a place to stay and I have a house so I offered ofc. During the first month before she moved in we called a lot, hung out all the time and things felt great, tons of communication, obviously also tons of good moments and laughter.

After she moved in it was the day before Easter we had spent it with her family. As we left my city to drive to her family’s (hr and half away) she told me I’d need to grab some cash to get into the park we were having the gathering at, I thought okay, we are already set to be over 40 mins early we can stop by the bank atm to grab it when we are down there. She didn’t tell me prior that her hometown had only 2 banks total and one being mine, had no atms. So I didn’t find out until we were nearly there that we had to turn around 25 mins or so to get cash at a dollar general. This really upset her because it ended up making up about 30 mins late, although I tried to make it better by getting more easter things for her daughter. (Didn’t help) this upset her so bad she said I had lacked common sense multiple times to the point we started yelling. I told her it was simply a lack of communication or miscommunication, she didn’t accept that.

We got there and she ignored me the entire time, while I had to meet a huge family and then sit awkwardly next to her and her daughter while she acted like I didn’t exist for 6 hrs, needless to say I felt very awkward. Due to this I voiced to her afterwards it was kinda rude of her to hold a grudge like that over a miscommunication, that got me nowhere in fact it made her continue to say I lacked common sense and a few other hurtful words I can’t recall but somehow it got brought up of her possibly not even liking me very much, I think it was brought up because I started to get insecure.

We went home that night and I can’t remember if that night or the next day we got into the matter again, me attempting to talk it out and address it was all a miscommunication and no need to insult me or whatnot. She stood her ground, I grew more insecure, after the yelling I told her to leave. ( I know I should not have but tensions we high and I felt attacked) she started to pack and we spoke it over and she finally said to me that when she insults me like the common sense thing, she truly means because I don’t think of everything or do everything her way exactly and if it’s not her way and perfect, then it’s wrong.

Anyways we moved on, things got better but obviously tensions were high. She then said I needed to change, like think just like her, do everything perfectly, not miss a spot when cleaning, etc. I argued I can’t be perfect or think like her I can only learn how she is and go based off that. She didn’t accept so I begrudgingly just agreed with her since I didn’t want her to leave or argue any longer.

Tensions calmed, but she then stopped being affectionate physically and emotionally in anyway. I recognized this but brushed it off understanding some people get distant for a few days after arguing so much.

Our next big argument came when I took her to see family again, I brought us to McDonald’s for breakfast before we left, as we ordered, she told me what she want but then right after was immediately upset by the fact I had to ask her about her order and didnt know already (we had never got McDonald’s together til then) she voiced i didn’t care about her enough because if I did I’d have asked her prior on another random day, and I said why would I for example come home from work, and randomly ask that when I can just learn it when I take her there, only time I’d ask a question like that in advance is if I’m planning a surprise. She didn’t agree, we sat in silence the rest of the long drive. Repeat cycle of arguing and getting really heated I think I told her to leave again or she said she would I can’t remember. I know the argument involved her saying the whole think of everything, do everything, be perfect but do it all her way and if it was another wa it was wrong. After the countless pushing and sly insults I insulted back and said very hurtful things. We eventually calmed and made up and did not have any further huge arguments.

But weeks went by of a still lack of any affection from her and I voiced it was a concern for me, she said I broke her trust and needed to earn it back, physical and emotional affection. I simply took it off the chin, didn’t argue and said okay, hoping things would change. More time passed and they didnt, I brought it up at least 3 times after a 2-3 weeks went by and the last time I said it, is on Monday when she decided I just wasn’t for her, did everything wrong, not good enough. It hurt really badly.

She left that night and has now nearly gotten all of her things. I took two day off work as I felt horrible due to it, confessed how much didn’t want this to end over just misunderstandings, she didn’t and doesn’t care. I even wrote and played a song for her that I sent (I get it, not very wise kinda weird or cringe) but I was very in my emotions, needed to let it all out and I did, she didn’t respond.

It’s now Friday, I’ve obviously been still hurt an wrote more paragraphs, she does not care, says I did everything wrong and am not good enough. It hurts a lot. I feel as though I did more than most men my age could do or provide. I provided a house, paid my bills, paid her bills, did all the house chores for the most part, paid for our groceries, went out of my way to ask about going on dates or just going out to a park (she never asked for a date and always turned down going out although she got angry everything we did costed money saying it’s how I show I care, but she denied any of my requests to go out, and have quality time together at a park or lake or what not. Anyways I invested a lot into this relationship, financially and emotionally. It hurt a lot to be told it was still not enough. That I wasn’t enough, and that she can move on so easily and I’m here balling my eyes out, expressing myself with my music, and doing everything to get her to understand my side and come back. I don’t think she is.

Apart of me really really wants her and what we had, and another part of me, the angry side, says she used me and never liked me. I’ve been told by friends I dodged a bullet due to her using me and how easy she was to upset over small things, but I don’t view it that way, at least yet. My heart aches a lot right now and I only wish things had been different or I had been the one she wanted. It just hurts more seeing how little she cares, i understand I love very hard and probably the wrong type of women, but how can you just move on, not care, and blame everyone else and claim to be so much better and not need to work on her own self but only me being a problem?

I truly don’t know if I’m asking a question here I’m just venting as I have no close friends to say this to without being called stupid for caring about someone using me. I know I’m forgetting some details that ultimately led to this but I don’t remember everything. (That was another problem she had, if I couldn’t remember everything or had to ask to be reminded, then I must not care or listen well).

I think this all hurts so much because she’s my first relationship since my divorce a year ago, and I let someone get close, live in my home, and I feel betrayed and destroyed but still desperate to have the connection I had and craved with my now ex gf.

Anyways idk what else to say I just hope I’m truly not the one to have caused the relationship to end, but I also don’t want to accept she just didn’t care about me as much as I did her and that she is fine leaving.