u/Cisom1899

Last time I M26 spent some time with this 3‑year‑old autistic, non‑verbal toddler during a sitting trial, he was in a terrible mood and wanted nothing to do with me. He spent all of the time clinging to mom. So I went into today expecting another rough trial.

We started out in the little backyard pool. When his parents slipped out, he didn’t notice at first, but the moment he realized they were gone, everything fell apart. He jumped out, ran to the back door, and started bawling. When I let him inside and he saw they weren’t there, he had a full meltdown on the floor, hysterically crying and overwhelmed.

I grabbed a little moving toy car, turned it on, and sat near him. He stopped crying instantly, reached for it, bit the wheel, and let it spin on his cheek. That sensory input calmed him immediately.

From there, everything changed. I tickled his feet lightly and he giggled. I walked toward the pool and he followed me. He wandered around, almost threw the car into the water a few times, and climbed the playset. I helped him up and told him he was a good climber.

We walked near the pond, and since he didn’t have shoes, I picked him up. He let me, which shocked me after our last visit. He loved swinging on the swing out over the water, until he threw the car straight into the pond. 😆 I reassured him, grabbed the net, fished it out, rinsed it, and tossed it into the pool since it was already ruined.

I then got into the pool and asked if he wanted in. He reached his arms up to me. We played in the pool for an hour. He sat in my lap, giggled when I booped his nose, let me swim him around, lifted him up and down, and kept coming back to me for help grabbing his car and would come to me just to be close. He was relaxed, happy, and completely bonded.

When he was ready to get out, I dried him off, wrapped him in a towel, and carried him inside. He sat calmly on the carpet while I got his things ready. I gloved up and changed his diaper from the swim diaper to his regular one, and he stayed totally calm the whole time.

Afterward, he gave me a high five and grabbed my hand to lead me around the house. That’s when I realized I had officially become “his person” for the day. We watched SpongeBob, and he rested his head on my lap.

We finished outside with some flying‑around play, lifting and spinning him gently. He loved it. When his parents came home, he got shy but still gave me a high five and a stiff little hug, the kind where he’s happy but also worried I might take him from Mom.

Considering how rough our last trial was, today was a huge breakthrough. He trusted me, bonded with me, and let me be his safe person. I’m honestly so happy with how it turned out.

Last time I M26 spent some time with this 3‑year‑old autistic, non‑verbal toddler during a sitting trial, he was in a terrible mood and wanted nothing to do with me. He spent all of the time clinging to mom. So I went into today expecting another rough trial.

We started out in the little backyard pool. When his parents slipped out, he didn’t notice at first, but the moment he realized they were gone, everything fell apart. He jumped out, ran to the back door, and started bawling. When I let him inside and he saw they weren’t there, he had a full meltdown on the floor, hysterically crying and overwhelmed.

I grabbed a little moving toy car, turned it on, and sat near him. He stopped crying instantly, reached for it, bit the wheel, and let it spin on his cheek. That sensory input calmed him immediately.

From there, everything changed. I tickled his feet lightly and he giggled. I walked toward the pool and he followed me. He wandered around, almost threw the car into the water a few times, and climbed the playset. I helped him up and told him he was a good climber.

We walked near the pond, and since he didn’t have shoes, I picked him up. He let me, which shocked me after our last visit. He loved swinging on the swing out over the water, until he threw the car straight into the pond. 😆 I reassured him, grabbed the net, fished it out, rinsed it, and tossed it into the pool since it was already ruined.

I then got into the pool and asked if he wanted in. He reached his arms up to me. We played in the pool for an hour. He sat in my lap, giggled when I booped his nose, let me swim him around, lifted him up and down, and kept coming back to me for help grabbing his car and would come to me just to be close. He was relaxed, happy, and completely bonded.

When he was ready to get out, I dried him off, wrapped him in a towel, and carried him inside. He sat calmly on the carpet while I got his things ready. I gloved up and changed his diaper from the swim diaper to his regular one, and he stayed totally calm the whole time.

Afterward, he gave me a high five and grabbed my hand to lead me around the house. That’s when I realized I had officially become “his person” for the day. We watched SpongeBob, and he rested his head on my lap.

We finished outside with some flying‑around play, lifting and spinning him gently. He loved it. When his parents came home, he got shy but still gave me a high five and a stiff little hug, the kind where he’s happy but also worried I might take him from Mom.

Considering how rough our last trial was, today was a huge breakthrough. He trusted me, bonded with me, and let me be his safe person. I’m honestly so happy with how it turned out.

Last time I M26 spent some time with this 3‑year‑old autistic, non‑verbal toddler during a sitting trial, he was in a terrible mood and wanted nothing to do with me. He spent all of the time clinging to mom. So I went into today expecting another rough trial.

We started out in the little backyard pool. When his parents slipped out, he didn’t notice at first, but the moment he realized they were gone, everything fell apart. He jumped out, ran to the back door, and started bawling. When I let him inside and he saw they weren’t there, he had a full meltdown on the floor, hysterically crying and overwhelmed.

I grabbed a little moving toy car, turned it on, and sat near him. He stopped crying instantly, reached for it, bit the wheel, and let it spin on his cheek. That sensory input calmed him immediately.

From there, everything changed. I tickled his feet lightly and he giggled. I walked toward the pool and he followed me. He wandered around, almost threw the car into the water a few times, and climbed the playset. I helped him up and told him he was a good climber.

We walked near the pond, and since he didn’t have shoes, I picked him up. He let me, which shocked me after our last visit. He loved swinging on the swing out over the water, until he threw the car straight into the pond. 😆 I reassured him, grabbed the net, fished it out, rinsed it, and tossed it into the pool since it was already ruined.

I then got into the pool and asked if he wanted in. He reached his arms up to me. We played in the pool for an hour. He sat in my lap, giggled when I booped his nose, let me swim him around, lifted him up and down, and kept coming back to me for help grabbing his car and would come to me just to be close. He was relaxed, happy, and completely bonded.

When he was ready to get out, I dried him off, wrapped him in a towel, and carried him inside. He sat calmly on the carpet while I got his things ready. I gloved up and changed his diaper from the swim diaper to his regular one, and he stayed totally calm the whole time.

Afterward, he gave me a high five and grabbed my hand to lead me around the house. That’s when I realized I had officially become “his person” for the day. We watched SpongeBob, and he rested his head on my lap.

We finished outside with some flying‑around play, lifting and spinning him gently. He loved it. When his parents came home, he got shy but still gave me a high five and a stiff little hug, the kind where he’s happy but also worried I might take him from Mom.

Considering how rough our last trial was, today was a huge breakthrough. He trusted me, bonded with me, and let me be his safe person. I’m honestly so happy with how it turned out.

I’m a guy working in a very female-dominated corner of childcare, TA for kids with learning differences, summer camp counselor, and manny/babysitter (often with toddlers 16m+ or special‑needs boys who need a lot of extra support). I’ve built up a solid reputation in babysitting/mannying over the years, which has helped me gain new clients, though I still run into stereotypes and hiccups along the way. Despite that, I genuinely find the work rewarding and love teaching and caring for kids.

Men who work in female-dominated fields: what stereotypes have you dealt with, and how did you handle them? Did any of it ever make you reconsider your career path? Especially those in childcare? Have any of you dealt with any stigma regarding that?

​

I M26 am interviewing soon for a long‑term after‑school childcare job for a 2 year old nonverbal autistic toddler. The mom messaged me saying I’m one of her top choices of two, and she’s checking references before doing in‑person meetings to see who her son connects with better.

The job listing on Care.com had a pay range of $16–26/hr.

She asked me what rate I was looking for and offered $20/hr, asking if that was okay or if I wanted something higher.

Normally, for this type of care due to all involved, I charge $25/hr for one child. I have a lot of experience with toddlers and autistic kids, including diapering, regulation, and sensory awareness. I’m also a special needs TA. Although $20/hr is my low end.

But because I’m one of only two finalists, I didn’t want to price myself out or make myself the “more expensive option” compared to the other candidate. So I said $20/hr was fine.

My responsibilities in this job would include:

- picking him up after ABA (only a mile drive home)

-reinforcing what he's learning during ABA

-helping him regulate after therapy

-giving snacks

- diaper changes

- water play supervision

- outdoor play

- structured transitions

- calming routines

- keeping him safe and engaged until mom is done with work

It’s a consistent after‑school position, not a one‑time gig, and I really wanted a consistent position that supplements my main job.

Did I make the right call accepting $20/hr to stay competitive and play the long game? Or should I have pushed for my usual $25/hr since the listing range goes up to $26?

I can always renegotiate later once I’m hired and established, but I’m curious how other sitters see this.

​

I M26 am interviewing soon for a long‑term after‑school childcare job for a 2 year old nonverbal autistic toddler. The mom messaged me saying I’m one of her top choices of two, and she’s checking references before doing in‑person meetings to see who her son connects with better.

The job listing on Care.com had a pay range of $16–26/hr.

She asked me what rate I was looking for and offered $20/hr, asking if that was okay or if I wanted something higher.

Normally, for this type of care due to all involved, I charge $25/hr for one child. I have a lot of experience with toddlers and autistic kids, including diapering, regulation, and sensory awareness. I’m also a special needs TA. Although $20/hr is my normal rate for one child.

But because I’m one of only two finalists, I didn’t want to price myself out or make myself the “more expensive option” compared to the other candidate. So I said $20/hr was fine.

My responsibilities in this job would include:

- picking him up after ABA (only a mile drive home)

-reinforcing what he's learning during ABA

-helping him regulate after therapy

-giving snacks

- diaper changes

- water play supervision

- outdoor play

- structured transitions

- calming routines

- keeping him safe and engaged until mom is done with work

It’s a consistent after‑school position, not a one‑time gig, and I really wanted a consistent position that supplements my main job.

Did I make the right call accepting $20/hr to stay competitive and play the long game? Or should I have pushed for my usual $25/hr since the listing range goes up to $26?

I can always renegotiate later once I’m hired and established, but I’m curious how other sitters see this.

Hey everyone!

I wanted to share a new community I’ve started called r/MenWhoWorkWithKids; a supportive space for men in childcare to connect, swap stories, and talk about the unique parts of this work.

I’m Cameron, a Teaching Assistant for kids with special needs, a babysitter for boys ages 16 months to 11 (including neurodivergent kiddos), and a Summer Camp Counselor. I’ve spent years in this field, and one thing I’ve noticed is how isolating it can feel to be a guy doing this work. We don’t always have peers who understand our experiences, challenges, or the stereotypes we deal with.

That’s why I created this community.

Before I share more, I'd like to thank the mods for keeping this space fair and supportive. It’s noticed and it means a lot.

r/MenWhoWorkWithKids is for:

- babysitters & mannies

- teachers & TAs

- preschool/daycare staff

- camp counselors

- after‑school/youth program workers

- anyone who works with kids and wants a supportive space

It’s a place to share wins, ask questions, vent, get advice, and connect with others who get what it’s like to be a male role model in childcare.

If you or someone you know would benefit from a space like this, we’d love to have you join.

r/MenWhoWorkWithKids

I hung out with a 20 month old this week and it was equal parts wholesome and hilarious.

We started on the couch with pop up books. I’d barely get halfway through a sentence before he’d flip the tab like “okay next” and then switch to a whole new book before we even finished the first one. I was basically speed reading for my life while he changed books every minute as he was cuddling up to me.

Then we moved to the playroom. Miss Rachel was on in the background while we played with cars, and he kept giving me these huge smiley looks like he was having the best day of his life. Snack time? Same energy. Just pure sunshine. And man could he eat. He loves his snacks. 😆

Diaper change was shockingly smooth. I laid him on a quilt, handed him a toy, gloved up, and he just chilled while I wiped him up and tried to figure out the tabs like a rookie. When I said “upsie daisie!” when I stood him up to pull up his pants, he grinned like I’d just performed magic.

Back on the carpet, he kept leaning against me, plopping himself in my lap, and giving me random hugs while the TV played. Meanwhile, the puppy was trying to eat literally every toy in the room, so I was doing gentle toddler bonding and dog wrangling at the same time.

We went outside for a bit, and I pushed him on the swing while dramatically oofing and falling backwards every time his feet nudged my chest. He giggled so hard. Then we heard a rooster in the distance. I said, “Wow! I heard a rooster!” and that was it. He spent the rest of the time pointing in that direction saying “rooster” like he’d discovered a new species. He also kept pointing at random things like my knee or my collar on my shirt and asking “what’s that?” which cracked me up.

His mom came home right after, but honestly it was one of those days that reminds you why toddlers are the funniest, sweetest little people on earth.

​

I M26 watched a 20 month old boy this week and honestly it was the kind of shift that’s equal parts wholesome and hilarious.

We started on the couch with pop up books. I’d barely get halfway through a sentence before he’d flip the tab like “okay next” and then switch to a whole new book before we even finished the first one. I was basically speed reading for my life while he changed books every minute. But he was already cuddled up against me, so I wasn’t complaining.

Then we moved to the playroom. I put Miss Rachel on in the background. He watched her while we played with cars, and he kept giving me these huge smiley looks like he was having the best day of his life. Snack time? Same energy. Just pure sunshine.

Diaper change was shockingly smooth. I laid him on a quilt, handed him a toy, gloved up, and he just chilled while I wiped him and figured out the tabs like a rookie. When I said “upsie daisie!” and pulled up his pants, he grinned like I just performed magic.

Back on the carpet, he kept leaning against me, plopping himself in my lap, and giving me random hugs while Miss Rachel sang about colors. Meanwhile, the puppy was trying to eat literally every toy in the room, so I was doing gentle toddler bonding and dog wrangling at the same time.

We went outside for a bit, and we heard a rooster in the distance. I said, “Wow! I heard a rooster!” and that was it. He spent the rest of the time pointing in that direction saying rooster like he’d discovered a new species. 😆 He also kept pointing at things like my knee and saying "what's that?" Lol.

His mom came home right after, but honestly it was one of those shifts that reminds you why toddlers are the funniest, sweetest little people on earth.

​

I M26 watched a 20 month old boy this week and honestly it was the kind of shift that’s equal parts wholesome and hilarious.

We started on the couch with pop up books. I’d barely get halfway through a sentence before he’d flip the tab like “okay next” and then switch to a whole new book before we even finished the first one. I was basically speed reading for my life while he changed books every minute. But he was already cuddled up against me, so I wasn’t complaining.

Then we moved to the playroom. I put Miss Rachel on in the background. He watched her while we played with cars, and he kept giving me these huge smiley looks like he was having the best day of his life. Snack time? Same energy. Just pure sunshine.

Diaper change was shockingly smooth. I laid him on a quilt, handed him a toy, gloved up, and he just chilled while I wiped him and figured out the tabs like a rookie. When I said “upsie daisie!” and pulled up his pants, he grinned like I just performed magic.

Back on the carpet, he kept leaning against me, plopping himself in my lap, and giving me random hugs while Miss Rachel sang about colors. Meanwhile, the puppy was trying to eat literally every toy in the room, so I was doing gentle toddler bonding and dog wrangling at the same time.

We went outside for a bit, and we heard a rooster in the distance. I said, “Wow! I heard a rooster!” and that was it. He spent the rest of the time pointing in that direction saying rooster like he’d discovered a new species. 😆 He also kept pointing at things like my knee and saying "what's that?" Lol.

His mom came home right after, but honestly it was one of those shifts that reminds you why toddlers are the funniest, sweetest little people on earth.