Broke up with:(
After 3 years of deep physical and emotional intimacy and a lot of unsure feelings I started dating my best friend a widower. We started out relationship back in December. We had spent time together with our kids many times and so we told our kids about us. we were dating for 6 months and it’s been the same wonderful friendship but the emotional connection has felt a little unstable he always seemed to be so in to me and then when we started dating I felt like he pulled back a little. I kept checking in and because we both have kids he has his full time we have not had a spent a night together. I questioned it and he was hesitant I was upset about it not because I wanted it to be a regular thing just like a one off- figure out a night we could do it. He spent time after thinking about why he was hesitant and he couldn’t put his finger on it buthe questioned if it was about the idea that it would make the relationship more serious and he wasn’t sure if he wanted that. I started wondering where I stood and things got a little distant emotionally between us but we both agreed there was more to explore and we spent some really wonderful fun days and dates together. He sent me sweet messages and we were getting along very well. fast forward 3 weeks- we had a date planned for the following day he had sent me a cute message about missing my face and then that evening he called me out of the blue and he broke up with me over the phone. He told me he doesn’t think we want the same things and the feelings just aren’t there. We then had a long convo where I tried to convince him to give it a little time to work on it he refused saying it wouldn’t be genuine. I had been going through some very hard personal things and I was upset that he was breaking up with me out of the blue as I was dealing with these things he told me he would still be there for me but not as a boyfriend. I ended getting quite upset and said some unkind things but I then fully apologized. As much as I wanted it to work between us romantically I could feel that it wasn’t quite right but the friendship we have built has been the most important one I’ve had. He now will not reply to any of my messages I’m really upset how he has suddenly cut me off. I’m completely distraught. I messaged him on Friday and no reply and again today to say: I know the romantic relationship wasn’t feeling right, even though I really wanted it to, and I know we both put a lot of energy into trying.
Even if dating didn’t work, I thought we were still kind and caring to each other and genuinely having fun and enjoying our time together. I never felt like I was awful to you. More than anything, your friendship always meant more to me than having a “boyfriend.” Losing that so suddenly has been incredibly lonely and confusing.
I don’t understand what I did that made you feel you needed to cut me out of your life so completely and so urgently. I know you may have needed to end the relationship, but I never expected to lose you entirely, and I think that’s the part I’m struggling to make sense of.
If there is something I’ve done that I’ve not understood, I would genuinely like to know. And if you’ve decided you don’t want me to contact you again, please tell me. I’ll respect that. I just don’t want to keep wondering.
Why won’t he reply to me, how do I handle this?