u/Clear_Initiative_431

I’ve (21F) struggled with these things on an off my whole life. I got on birth control a few months ago to help with heavy periods, but it hasn’t helped any of the above issues at all. I always feel like my face is puffy and I bloat after every meal. I also struggle with constipation and smelly gas. I know this is likely a gut issue, so I’m wondering if people have dealt with this combination of things before and what ended up helping. I think stress might play a factor (I work in consulting), but I’m also on lexapro and I have a pretty good de-stress routine. I’m also lactose intolerant and avoid lactose almost all of the time. Any help would be appreciated!

I want to get my boyfriend an electric guitar for his birthday, but I know nothing about them lol. He has an acoustic guitar right now and loves the Beatles and the Strokes. Any recommendations would be greatly appreciated!

Hi everyone! I (21F) am looking for a studio or one bedroom in the city starting in late June. I’m happy to do a short term sublet or a longer lease or a lease takeover. Please message me if you have any availabilities! Preferably something within 30-40 minutes of Gramercy Park.

I (21F) have been dating my boyfriend (21M) for almost a year. we’ve been long distance almost the entirety of our relationship, but we see each other once a month. He’s an amazing guy and cares for me so much: he makes an effort to see me, texts and calls me, sends me gifts and food sometimes, and is very supportive.

however, I recently been feeling drained. it seems like every other week he runs into an extreme problem: he’s burnt out or he has debilitating anxiety about school applications, his job, his family, his friends, etc.. I understand it’s normal to be anxious and burn out from time to time, but it’s to a point where he can’t handle it. I’ve helped him get on SSRIs to manage his anxiety and try to be there the best I can (making job app trackers for him, helping him with applications, sending him food, listening and texting him while he rants).

But this leaves me feeling so drained. it feels like a lot of the time he doesn’t have the space to care for me while going through his own stuff. and more importantly for me, it seems like he doesn’t know how to manage the problems in his life. he has very severe anxiety symptoms, and he does not take care of himself properly, no matter how much I help him. he won’t eat properly unless I order him food, for example. He wouldn’t make an appointment with a therapist until I practically forced him to do it, after which he said he felt judged by me. I don’t know what to do or say because when I bring up the stuff to him, he just says that he won’t tell me his problems anymore because he doesn’t wanna be a burden on me. it makes me feel really horrible for even communicating to him.

once on Valentine’s Day, when he was too stressed with work to spend proper time with me, I brought up to him how I was feeling, and he broke down in tears, saying he was trying his best. I obviously dropped the topic because I wanted to be there for him. But, this was just one of the many examples of times when I felt like I couldn’t express my needs or be cared for properly because his anxiety and his burnout was taking precedent.

sometimes I just feel like an emotional support dump, trying to calm him down and soothe him when he inevitably has panic attacks or anxiety attacks multiple times a month. and honestly, on these days, I kind of just have to be invisible.

I don’t know if I have a right to be upset about this. he is there for me as much as he can be. I feel like I deal with very similar problems, but I just have learned how to manage anxiety and burnout, so I can still be functional and take care of myself. I don’t even know what to say to him because I don’t want him to feel guilty for confiding and looking for support in his girlfriend. Any advice?

TLDR: boyfriend has bad anxiety and I feel emotionally drained by it. i don’t know how to approach this or what I can do.