u/Clearbreezebluesky

52(f), married to my highschool sweetheart. We have 2 adult kids, one married and moved out, the other has developmental disabilities and lives with us. My husband and I work full time, him from home, me out of the home. My son attends a day program.

I get home on Friday night and I could stay in my house until Monday morning for work. Easily. If I agree to go to something (like a cookout in the next few wks) I always regret it and 90% of the time will try to get out of it.

I don’t know if this is depression, exhaustion, menopause, some of each?

I am attempting to start a 20 gallon tank. I sifted my potting soil, put it in slightly damp. I added my seeds, then a sand cap. I planned to dry start the substrate- my hope was to have a nicely growing carpet before adding water and additional plants. Now I’m regretting it…. I just heard that seeds are usually a scam- did I screw up? Should I try to fix this and remove the seeds before going any further? Or leave it and hope for the best 😫

I’ve come to realize I may not be normal. When I brush my teeth it’s VERY sudsy.. my mouth is full of toothpaste suds, it falls in the sink, sometimes down my arm! My husband makes nearly zero excess suds (it all stays contained in his mouth.) It doesn’t matter if I use electric toothbrush or manual, or what type of toothpaste I use.

Today I scooped rocks, mud, decaying wood and pine cones from the freshwater brook/stream on my property. I put them in a gallon jar and filled the rest with brook water. I don’t have plants, so I added some algae coated rocks.

The water is still cloudy but with a flashlight I’ve spotted so many living things, I’m actually a bit itchy watching them LOL. Because there are so many creepy crawly swimmy things I want a lid and won’t aerate.

So what do I need to keep everything alive?

I see sooooo many posts that start with “I am lead teacher…” so I’m just curious what that actually means in the state you’re in. I am in MA and lead is essentially the captain of our team of 10 teachers.

We have 4 toddler rooms, each room has 2 primary teachers, and we have 2 floats that fill in/do lunch breaks etc. Primaries are certified, in charge of their rooms/kids/parent communication etc.

Lead is above the team- they need more credentials than teacher certification. Lead certification is the next step up- more education and experience to even apply for it through the state. The lead creates our schedules, does our observations, makes sure our classrooms and curriculum all adheres to our company standards. Each age group team has a lead in our center (infants, toddlers, preschool) and they work together to keep us compliant with NAEYC standards, as well as make sure all teachers are following licensing guidelines.

Primaries are expected to maintain the standards, but leads are the safety net that its actually being done if that makes sense.

I have only ever worked in MA and I know MA is strict with many things so is this a MA thing?

Sorry in advance if this a crazy question, I’ve only ever had typical aquariums, and starting to learn about planted tanks. I thoroughly research my interests, and ask lots of questions. Just give it to me straight! LOL

I have a brook running through my farm property that pools during wet seasons. After looking at all the plants online (and realizing it would be fairly expensive to set up a 20 gallon tank), would plants, rocks, wood, leaves, grass from the brook work? What about the water?

As a kid, my mother would tell me to be sure to wash off all the soap or I would be itchy. If we took a bath she would fill a cup from the faucet to rinse us off from any soap or bubbles. Fast forward 45 yrs of believing this and I was taking a CNA course. We were at the bed bathing stage, reviewing how to properly clean a female patient and I felt like it wasn’t completely removing the soap so I asked- won’t it be uncomfortable and/or itchy if not properly rinsed? The nurse (instructor) looked confused and said “itchy?” Like it was the first time she’d ever heard this.

Anyone else ever heard this??

**edited to add** I did not become a CNA, it was during the end of Covid- during Covid I took as many short courses as I could and that was one of them

I got a discovery set at TJMaxx, which has quite a few but is there somewhere that would have all of the scents to smell?

I have a 2.6 yr old boy in my toddler room, he’s been with me and my coteacher since he was 15 months old. He’s always been challenging, requiring extra attention and strategies to be successful throughout his day.

Lately (probably since he turned 2) he’s upset for most of the day, either crying/sad or extremely mad. He screams at kids/staff, he hits, throws toys at us, breaks things etc. All of this is due to lack of parenting. He only has a mom, from birth. She has gone through multiple stages of parenting since I’ve know her- in the early toddler stage she admitted she wasn’t sure how to handle certain situations or behaviors and would seek out advice.

As he got older, she really leaned into the fact that a lot of his behavior was developmentally appropriate, not understanding that even when that’s true, it still requires correction. She has now entered the walking on eggshells stage and seems to be really scared to make him mad, because she has no idea how to handle it when he rages at her. She never tells him no, never makes him do anything, never tells him to wait his turn, or that he can’t have something.

So the problem is- we do make him mad at daycare, a lot. Yesterday was especially rough on him being Friday I think he was probably maxed out. He really wanted a toy guitar we have, and walked over to the friend using it and ripped it out of his hand. My coteacher intervened “it’s J’s turn. First J, then you.” As she guided him back to J to hand it back. He flipped, hit her then hurled the guitar, breaking it. I put it up out of reach because it needs repair and he lost his mind. It’s a repeat of this type of struggle all day. We remind him not to grab from friends, encourage him to ask for a turn, use first/then language.

Snack time, 9 kids sitting proudly eating pumpkin bread they baked earlier, he agreed it was delicious, until someone stopped by our room to give my co and I teacher appreciation snacks. We didn’t even eat them in front of the kids, just put them up on the desk but he wanted it. I explained it wasn’t for the kids, the kids are eating their yummy bread. He screamed, hurled his bread across the table and started pushing a chair over to reach the teacher snack. I picked him up and hugged him, explaining that I understood he was frustrated but it was a teacher snack. He continued to cry for 15 minutes, saying he wanted his mom.

Later in the day I had someone take him for a walk to reset. He came back in and was mad that we were marching to ‘we are the dinosaurs’ he didn’t want that song, so he yelled it repeatedly I DONT WANT THIS SONG! When I told him his friends were having fun and we could do The Goldfish (his choice) next, he shoved a marching friend to the floor.

These are just quick examples of all day things that make him sad/mad.

I called his mom this week to chat about some things and she told me she’d taken an 8 minute video of him dumping out every basket of toys at home, piling them into the middle of the playroom, then said he was packing to go golfing, she told me thinking it was so cute. Then she said she was cleaning up until midnight, she didn’t require him to help at all.

She came to pick up and asked him to put on a jacket, it was chilly out. He said no. She tried to insist and he screamed NO and took a swing at her. Normally I’d help her out, wearing a jacket is something he doesn’t fight me on- but I was so done I just wanted her to take him. Thats another problem though- she can’t make him leave until HE is ready. She just stands there until he’s ready to go, even if it’s 30 minutes. In that time she sees his behavior with toys/friends and never ever reprimands, just gently reminds and he basically ignores her.

I want to scream at her that she is doing this to him. She doesn’t want to push him or piss him off, but it’s doing the opposite all day long at school. She will often smile and shake her head and say “I don’t know how you guys do it all day with 9 of them”. Does she think all 9 are like this all day?

He’s had early intervention therapy for years, we have tons of sensory toys, things to help him self regulate, visual cues/icons, timers, verbal warnings for every transition, I am the parent of a 30 yr old son with significant cognitive delays, sensory issues and anxiety- I know all the tricks- this is not about our classroom- this is about mom having absolutely zero control and him believing he runs the show. I don’t know how to get through to her in a way that’s not cruel.