u/CoatCivil

I've been self employed for ten years, and my home address is my business premises. I run a fully licensed dog daycare full time from home.

Since moving over to making tax digital (sooo much easier) I've realised that I am actually entitled to working from home allowance as I WFH more than 103 hours a week (it's actually 160) - apparently this means that I'm entitled to £312 tax allowance per year. Have no idea how I missed this and I'm really annoyed at myself!

How far back can I amend my self assessments? And what do I need to include to mail to HMRC? Do I need to include paper amendments for every single year? Seems like such a faff, but I would like to get the refund for as far back as I can get

Many thanks

TW: suicide/sexual assault

My husband (40m) has always suffered with low moods and self esteem. He goes through cycles where he is seemingly ok, but it all blows up in a cycle of suicidal thoughts and anger every 2-3 years.

When he was 12 he was sexually assaulted by another boy his age at a sleepover (a prolonged event that he could not escape). He reached out to 'friends' (instead of adults) at the time who laughed at him and spread it round the school. His parents have never known. He was also relentlessly bullied until the age of 18 until he came to university and found his people. We met when he was 23.

He is kind, thoughtful and loving. Impossibly intelligent. And a loyal friend and husband. We've built this beautiful life together. Nice house, two dogs, financially stable - on paper we've made it. On the surface he seems confident, but his self esteem is on the floor, he has no positive thoughts about himself at all, and can't see any joy at all in anything. 

Every few years he spirals. About four years ago he went into edmr therapy with a JUNIOR therapist on the NHS. He understandably found it unbearable and quit HALF WAY THROUGH (to say I'm furious with the therapist for not being clearer on the process and what is required is an understatement).

I found out yesterday that he thinks about the events daily (before it was every once in a while) and he hasn't processed anything. He is suicidal constantly and I am frightened for his welfare. Yesterday he actually said 'i think about killing myself constantly' and has checked our house insurance to make sure the mortgage would be paid off if he went. He only said this because we were talking about everything, he doesn't land this stuff on me every day because he doesn't want to burden me. He stays quiet for months so I'm lead into this false sense of security thinking that things are ok.

He wants to change and be happy, he is putting the work in. He is 2.5 years sober from alcohol and drug addiction which nearly wrecked our marriage in 2022. He is also starting with a new psychotherapist today which is great. Going back into therapy is a BIG step after the disaster of last time. He took SSRIs for about 3 years but they made him really tired and affected our sex life so he chose to come off them in August last year when he felt he was doing better. 

I think I am looking for hope. Please someone tell me there is hope for him. My needs get put on the back burner during these times because he doesn't have the emotional bandwidth to love me when he doesn't love himself. If you could meet this man you would understand why I have stuck around through all of this pain. He deserves the world and more, he really really does 💔

TW: suicide/sexual assault

My husband (40m) has always suffered with low moods and self esteem. He goes through cycles where he is seemingly ok, but it all blows up in a cycle of suicidal thoughts and anger every 2-3 years.

When he was 12 he was sexually assaulted by another boy his age at a sleepover (a prolonged event that he could not escape). He reached out to 'friends' (instead of adults) at the time who laughed at him and spread it round the school. His parents have never known. He was also relentlessly bullied until the age of 18 until he came to university and found his people. We met when he was 23.

He is kind, thoughtful and loving. Impossibly intelligent. And a loyal friend and husband. We've built this beautiful life together. Nice house, two dogs, financially stable - on paper we've made it. On the surface he seems confident, but his self esteem is on the floor, he has no positive thoughts about himself at all, and can't see any joy at all in anything. 

Every few years he spirals. About four years ago he went into edmr therapy with a JUNIOR therapist on the NHS. He understandably found it unbearable and quit HALF WAY THROUGH (to say I'm furious with the therapist for not being clearer on the process and what is required is an understatement).

I found out yesterday that he thinks about the events daily (before it was every once in a while) and he hasn't processed anything. He is suicidal constantly and I am frightened for his welfare. Yesterday he actually said 'i think about killing myself constantly' and has checked our house insurance to make sure the mortgage would be paid off if he went. He only said this because we were talking about everything, he doesn't land this stuff on me every day because he doesn't want to burden me. He stays quiet for months so I'm lead into this false sense of security thinking that things are ok.

He wants to change and be happy, he is putting the work in. He is 2.5 years sober from alcohol and drug addiction which nearly wrecked our marriage in 2022. He is also starting with a new psychotherapist today which is great. Going back into therapy is a BIG step after the disaster of last time. He took SSRIs for about 3 years but they made him really tired and affected our sex life so he chose to come off them in August last year when he felt he was doing better. 

I think I am looking for hope. Please someone tell me there is hope for him. My needs get put on the back burner during these times because he doesn't have the emotional bandwidth to love me when he doesn't love himself. If you could meet this man you would understand why I have stuck around through all of this pain. He deserves the world and more, he really really does 💔