Why am I such a loser?
I’m a 22-year-old guy, and I can’t figure out what’s wrong with me. What I don’t understand is whether I’m simply lazy or if there’s something psychological going on, because for years now I’ve spent my time doing absolutely nothing. I have no goals, and little by little I’ve been losing the motivation to do anything at all.
It all started when I began university. I passed a few exams, and then everything came to a halt. I couldn’t bring myself to study anymore, and I couldn’t find even the slightest bit of motivation to do something productive. That was three years ago, and I’m still in exactly the same situation. I’m unemployed, I’m not studying, I basically do nothing, and I don’t even have the motivation to try.
As time has gone by, I’ve noticed my motivation fading in every aspect of my life—not only when it comes to responsibilities like studying, but even things I used to enjoy, like going out with friends. Then my father passed away in December last year, and since then I’ve completely stopped doing anything besides playing video games or endlessly scrolling through social media.
Every day I feel worse about myself. My mother has reached her limit, and honestly, I understand why. But at the same time, I don’t understand myself either. I feel trapped in this constant state of limbo, unable to make decisions or follow through with them.
I have no dreams, no ambitions, and it just keeps getting worse. Lately, I find myself wishing I could become emotionally numb—to stop feeling anything at all and just do whatever I want without my emotions holding me back. I know that’s not healthy, but that’s genuinely how I feel right now.
How do you get out of a situation like this? Why am I not like everyone else—people who seem to have goals, or at least enough motivation to keep moving forward?
When I look at myself in the mirror, all I see is a 22-year-old failure who can’t take control of his own life and has been left to drift. I want to change, but I have no idea how.