u/Comfortable_Air_7994

For several months, I have imagined my LO while having sex with my husband. I can't get this guy out of my head. A few months ago, I talked to him online, and he and I had an emotional affair. Since then, I can't get back to my normal self. Our conversations were on the surface but also deep at times, and we had online sex.

I miss sex with my husband the way it used to be. But I can't get physically turned on anymore. I keep closing my eyes and imagining this guy. I don't talk to him anymore, but he still lives in my head every time I have sex with my husband.

How can I get obsessed with myself and my life again and forget this guy completely?

I blocked him everywhere. I started meeting friends, going to events and places, and working on myself and my self‑development. It's just that he comes into my head every time I have sex. He somehow lives with me even though he and I never met in real life. When I don't think about him or imagine him during sex, I don't get turned on.

I have never had this before in my life. I have never had this problem. Please advise how I can forget this guy and enjoy myself completely again?

After going through a horrible collapse, with depression for several months, calling the suicide line, and horrible psychosis, I finally started to feel better. Actually, I feel like I am a totally different person. I started to cook, make new friends, go to church, and just feel better about myself in general. I realized that I used to say stupid things or do stupid things just to get attention from people. The realization made me feel more guarded.

The thing is, my circle of friends became different. I have better friends now. More kind and nice people and I totally abandoned my old friends. Not sure why that happened. Or maybe I do not feel like remembering what I done to them during my collapse. I lashed out at one friend in a restaurant, telling her horrible things and making her leave. She even said hi when she saw me in a store a few weeks after that, and I ignored her. I told horrible things about her to my other friend, and now I don’t have the desire to answer the phone when that friend calls me. I told bad things about my husband to a third friend and asked for divorce lawyer advice in the middle of the night. We reconcile with my husband now and I don't want to see her now. Etc. Etc etc

I found new friends that I spend my time with now, like going to church or local events. I guess I don’t like people to remember me in a bad mood. Does anyone have the same problem after a collapse?

You dislike the person, you don't like his face or his looks, or how he thinks or operates. At the same time, you want to get intimate with them. But it's not the desire to be with them every day or live with them. Just place some crazy intimate thoughts into them.

*Whistleblower

Where would I be now if I hadn’t fought? You just wanted to use me and throw me away. But I can’t hate you anymore, even if I really wanted to.

There is emptiness in my soul. You made me do things I didn’t want to do. And now I don’t care. I feel like someone who just escaped a prison I never should have been in.

This event made me work on myself. I don’t hate you anymore because I’m different now. Not because I’ve forgiven you, but because, from my position, I don’t care anymore.

There is no place for people like you in my life. I cared a year ago. And now I don’t care anymore. Who I am now and who I was a year ago are two different people. Even Google will tell you this. And you know what’s worse? You killed the person I used to be. She simply doesn’t exist anymore.

I feel calm and better now. You always make me feel good.

All I did, repeated after you

Revelation 16:13

Z, do you realize a person can be from a different culture? It means they do not live under your stupid rules that are rigidly inputted in your head.

Leave me alone. Not anymore. Why? I don't want to

Do not ask me questions.