u/Commercial_Kiwi3049

I'm in my late 30s now and reflecting on my whole life, a lot of it has been shameful. I've probably spent the vast majority of my adult life in some kind of red pill mentality. I can remember the early days in the 2000s when pickup artists were popular, and that was when I first 'learned' that women liked a** holes and started practicing that behaviour.

I continued with beliefs like that for years, then progressed to healthier influencers like Corey Wayne in my mid 20s. But nonetheless, I still had a lot of cynical, misogynistic, and deeprooted paranoia around women and how they were supposedly inevitably going to screw me over, were stupid / irrational, and not to be trusted.

By age 28-32, I was very deep in online red pill and 'manosphere' content, and I was watching on a daily basis. I even bought some of their books. I was constantly angry to the point of even feeling angry whenever I so much as *saw* women, silently judging them.

I eventually got tired of this toxic mindset and stopped watching it altogether. This behaviour still crept into my last relationship 4 years ago, but I'm *much* better now and I can laugh about manosphere and red pill ideology.

I'm now a couple of months into the healthiest relationship of my life and I can't help but feel a bit of a fraud to my girlfriend, who has liberal values (and I'm *far* more liberal than I used to be - you could say I was rather socially 'right wing' in the past).

I think we once joked about the Louis Theroux documentary on the manosphere but I didn't have the guts to tell her how immersed in it I used to be, or even at all because I don't want to be rejected for my old life.

I've said I've felt annoyed or frustrated when I see them sometimes and also added that it's not just the women but the men who are responsible for it too, and a few women have given backlash over this statement regardless of that addition.

Then again, I've had more women agree with me than the minority that call it misogynist. They don't seem to grasp that it's not hatred towards them as women but rather being disdainful of their decision because of the implications of suffering and the way the world is headed. It has nothing to do with their gender.

36yo man. I realised I was childfree at around my 30th birthday when I started questioning what I wanted from life and the birthday milestone bringing the idea of having a family in the future more into focus. I found community online and became staunchly CF, and have been for years now. I had heard of the word antinatalism many years ago, but in more recent times, I really got into the topic and have since read a David Benatar book and watched AN content – all which has totally cemented my position of reproduction.

I haven't had the worst life - I come from a working class family and have had education and work thankfully. I have always been a sensitive guy, and I've experienced a hell of a lot of misery in my life. I've asked myself - would I want someone else to go through all the ups and downs of life? and my answer is always a resounding "hell no!".

I realise I am miserable in a small way on a daily basis just by little things like having to run errands, maintain things, and work. I cannot un-see the reality of life and I feel utterly disconnected from other humans and society as a whole because I don't think many other people see it for what it is - utterly meaningless, mostly mediocre day-to-day, with plenty of frustration and the odd sprinkle here and there of joy and peace. It's unbalanced.

Antinatalism has fed my unhappiness, but I can't ignore it or un-see it because of how blatantly true it is. I sometimes wish I could be normal, not see the reality, keep my head buried in the sand, and be optimistic like most other people.

I moved into a flat I bought about 7 months ago, and I've been getting envelopes with either junk mail or mail intended for me from companies that are sending post to my mother's address because I lived there before I moved out. She uses this as an excuse to slip notes into an envelope with the letters from these companies in and I'm getting increasingly annoyed that she won't just get the fucking hint that I don't want to hear from her.

As an example, had to manually call up Tesco customer service to change my account address to my new address because my old account couldn't be accessed unless a code was verified using my mother's home landline number. (I must have set it up that way years ago for some reason). I think I'm going to have to call up every single company that doesn't know my new address every time I get an influx of mail from them posted to my address by my mother. But also having a stupid fucking personal note included from her every time. Yes I am fine, I'm happy living my life without you.