r/exredpill

Just discovered my BF of a year is red pill and can’t reconcile between his problematic views and how well he actually treats me… how bad are these views?

Recently my BF and I got into some discussions that ended up snowballing and had revealed some of his beliefs which came to a shock to me. He had said weird things before but there were isolated enough I never dug into this (mistake on my end). The recent discussions are more jarring though and now I’m thinking back it all makes sense now. When I shared some of his views with my friends, they told me this is red pill which I didn’t know is a thing until now. Here are some of the texts he sent, how bad is this? He also believes gender equality has been achieved in the US, and if anything women have it easier and are more privileged.

- “Yeah it goes along again with the way the brains work differently. The first man who makes a woman cum during intercourse, that’s the man she’ll love more than anyone forever deeply rooted in her psyche. The more men(through tons of partners) who make her cum the release of that chemical becomes less intense. Therefore the love/bond becomes less intense/meaningful and they’re willing to throw it away easier. For men we cum basically every sexual encounter, therefore it’s not tied to love as strongly for us. It’s a physical, not emotional occurrence. For men they say the same chemical introduced into a woman’s brain when they cum is introduced into a mans when he witnesses the birth of their first child. The bond with the woman is unbreakable at that point. (This is also backed up by the whole 80%+ of divorces are initiated by women).”

- “Men aren’t preferred because of their prowess in the bedroom, they’re preferred because their value is tied to their previous encounters. If I only date ugly women for years, I’ll think I can only get ugly women, which means I won’t hit on hot women, and over the course of time I won’t be comfortable around them because they are better than me in my perception of myself. I won’t have enough confidence to pull it off if I try. But if only dated hot women, whether I’m hot or not, other hot women notice and want to know what is the mystery behind me that makes me so attractive to these women of high value? They want to know, they want to find out, they want to be chosen to be part of that ‘class’ therefore they hit on me. Also because I’m already with hot women often, my confidence is fine around hot women because I’m used to being around them….. a tale as old as time.”

- “In some sense. If I meet a man and his wife is low quality, I believe he has low standards or poor self respect for himself. This isn’t based entirely on looks. But character, and the character you accept in your partner tells a lot about your own character.” “Low quality wife could be so many millions of things. Like wasteful, not kind to strangers, doesn’t stand up to those who talk ill of her or family, weak minded, not gentle, not feminine, not genuine(2-faced), doesn’t think of her husband in long term financial planning, selfish, entitled, no desire to improve in mental or physical ways, not goal oriented, etc”

- “a woman has infinite value at birth, and man has to earn his. A tale as old as time…. Even cavemen had the same laws of the land. The greatest hunter(provider) had access to the best woman of his choice. And the most beautiful woman had the best opportunity for successful family line because they can get the best hunter…. “

- “You will never for the future of mankind change the rules/laws of the sexual marketplace in any discernible way. Men’s and women’s brains are wired that way for the successful continuation of the species. “

- “Women definitely do more unpaid labor, but the praising for it is somewhat inflated nowadays. Let me explain before you read that at face value. “

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u/coffeeloverdrinkstea — 2 days ago

Almost fell in...

This morning I was recommended a video from an Orion Taraban on why women would wait for you. I watched it and about 6 other videos. I wasn't comfortable with his cursing and his constant use of the term "sexual marketplace" but he was dropping some really good insight in my opinion, almost sent a link to a friend. I decide to look him up on here and oh boy.

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u/UchihAckerman7 — 2 days ago

I’m really trying to get over my fear of getting back into dating

I don’t know where else to post this other than here. I can’t say I entirely subscribe to red pill content because this seems kind of adjacent to my issue

But I spent a year away from dating in order to build my career and get back in shape and so on. But another reason was because I found out about groups like Are We dating the Same Guy and the Tea app. I don’t have a reason to think I would be posted one there but the idea that I could effectively be doxxed to the entire internet and my reputation dragged by a bunch of bitter women making shit up for entertainment is entirely fucked!

And before anyone says “just don’t be a PoS”
I’ve seen enough screenshots of women laughing about lying on there, taking creep shots of men in public, their dating profiles and so on.
Putting myself out there feels like a massive risk now thinking I could go into work the next day and lose my career because some unhinged woman was bored and decided to lie on me and someone from HR saw it.

I don’t know what to do!

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u/Swimming-Newt4253 — 2 days ago

When does red pill become toxic?

As somebody recently learning about this it seems terrifying some people develop views like
- woman are subhuman
- nobody will love me because I’m not 6 foot
- girls are just looking for the next upgrade when dating their BOYFRIENDS. Seriously WTF
- and so much more.

However, I found Hazma at a very difficult time during my life and found him extremely helpful. I had a very serious illness but was still on my own. Him saying: just do it helped me move an entire storage unit while sick when my options were to move an entire storage unit while physically unwell or throw all my stuff in the dumpster. Both suck. He helped me do which sucked less.

However after learning about redpill I heard him mentioned. I do remember him talking about Adonis’s and since I am a very ambitious person (not because I am female) I obviously want to date a very ambitious man and agreed some people are super ambitious and I like them and liked listening to someone who shared my values.

However, I only listened to him a month or two, he was my only “red pill person,” and I wasn’t harmed nor did I develop any toxic beliefs from him. It’s possible I have toxic beliefs HE ALSO has and it drew me to him. But he did not give them to me.

I’m wondering about the process and ways people get hurt from this? How quickly it happens? Is some of it good? Hearing someone say get your lazy ass up and go to the gym or you’re gonna be unfit and fat like most of America I find very helpful, because it’s true. And I love bluntness. However, I don’t judge fat people. If anything I’m an asshole. I love that fat people make fit people look fitter by comparison, and view it as fun you can achieve a great body unlike the majority of Americans who are statistically overweight.

I like harsh truths and people pushing action. They push me to better myself in a way I respect enough I’ll actually take their advice and make the changes. Soft spoken advice I don’t respect enough to listen to. It just doesn’t resonate. Knowing this, I loved Hazma. Although my goal was never to get girls listening to him.

I’m wondering at what point it becomes toxic. I have no idea what Andrew Tate stuff. Is some stuff helpful and some just toxic and the toxic seeps in while you listen?

Tl,dr
Can someone explain the diff b/w me being helped by Hazma during a hard time in my life and how someone is hurt by him and becomes redpilled?

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u/freaklikeme263 — 3 days ago

Womendontlikemen subreddit

I wanted to ask you people what's the mindset behind the incels and redpillers on the subreddit called "Womendontlikemen"? It's filled of men who are either incels or redpillers saying that because a straight woman isn't into all men, that means she must be a closeted lesbian. I tried to explain to them the difference between general libido between men and women, and the real meaning of heterosexuality, but they say that gay men actually like men more than straight women because they're pretty much less picky and have more sex than women. Do these people understand that men and women are different, biologically?

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u/Lauren_Aa — 3 days ago

Blackpilling experiences: what to do?

I cant help but live blackpilling experiences from time to time and every time it puts me in a high distress. I can cry or throw up in worst cases when i am alone at home thinking about him.

Today i was going to coffee with two female friends. They discussed about some friend of one of them and she says "her boyfriend is so hot". She showed her a picture and both of her jaw dropped. He was the epitome of the australian chad surfer.

This was brutal. Their reactions was brutal. I try to do my best to not engage in blackpill and stuff and yet, life hit me like this. I cant help but think about the face they did. This wqs so brutal. When i think about me, that never did make any jaw dropped, i feel so inferior. I dont even think they view me as the same species as him. I am not even a human in those cases.

How do i deal with moments like this? Because its confirming all my deepest fears and i feel so so terrible. Worst thing is i got a compliment by a woman in the metro one hour before so i was thinking "maybe blackpill isn't true" and then boom life hits me back. The future seems so bleak because that kind of desire i would never create it unless i am a chad. I feel so so inferior i want to cry

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u/Baballe12 — 4 days ago

Is there a divide in who you should date as to whether they’re red pill brainwashed or right winged and you’re left winged?

I am completely overwhelmed with sadness at the divide of the world. Left and right wing, it is completely two opposing teams that I struggle to believe will ever change. Humans should have never of been this divided and in my opinion a lot of it is due to social media, propaganda and brain washing that is used on today’s society.
Every time I meet a great guy, who’s been through a lot on life, trying his best to be a good person. I then always discover their right winged views… the disappointment I feel gutters me. I know this person deserves love, instinctively I know deep down they’re a soft person who has all capability of feeling empathy, love, emotions, and kindness. But when I hear their stances on things, their opinions, their passionate arguments about conspiracies and beliefs o then quickly realise, they’re just as brainwashed as the last.
I’m an incredibly empathetic person who sees the best in all humans but I strong beliefs in many areas as well where I feel I can’t budge and cave for a man even though I so badly want to be able to offer them the love I have to give.
I recently broke up with an ex of mine to hold myself to those standards, his right winged views were taking a toll on me, he loved Andrew Tate, trump, manosphere type stuff but not completely radicalised. He was a great guy who saw many other things in similar ways to myself and we agreed on other topics such as: universe, grounding, meditation, health and fitness, plastic problems, growing own food, being outside in sunlight, ancient history, manifestation and things like that. But I couldn’t get past the right winged stuff that I felt like he wouldn’t budge in (anti-semetic, hating trans, homophobia).
Recently I have met a new guy, treats me with chivalry, kind, caring, came from a very traumatic background with a lot of violence and at the start my empathy kicked in, I wanted to show him real love, help him see the world isn’t as scary as what he was brought up in but now… I see his right winged views, the same as my ex (manosphere, red pill, conspiracies, hate speech) there are so many similarities in their beliefs that I know.. I know it’s brainwashing from influence online, from social media, from politics, from people in positions of power. Most of them don’t realise what side their beliefs even are, or the fact that they’ve been brainwashed of course. That’s the scary part but the patterns are clear, as soon as I hear one belief and opinion I know what the rest will be too.
What do I do… can I help these men?
Do I suggest books, suggest shows, continue to try and push my views onto them, confine to try and help them see different perspectives. Or is it a lost cause.
I know there are so many men out here like this, not all extremists, some with only a few of these beliefs but it’s still opposite to me.
And I know why they end up on this side becayse they were once lost boys who had nothing to turn to for help and got washed up under the influence of a system that seeks vulnerable men to brainwash. Or their parents had these views or what they saw from their masculine figures.
It is not these guys fault… they did their best to just survive and their survival technique meant they ended up on the other side of me, on opposite wings.
This is a high percentage of men, if I rule out dating or loving any men with these opposite beliefs and outlooks, the dating pool not only gets severely smaller but it leaves men like these guys unable to experience the love they might deserve deep down. I want to be able to show these men the care they deserve just as all humans deserve love and care but I can’t let go of these things that are concerns to me… I can’t drop what I deserve.
Please if anyone has any advice or just understands what I’m saying, please let me know. Are there ways to change their perspectives that you’ve found?
Can I unlock that deep soft core of theirs?
Do I just move on and only look for left winged Men?

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u/cry_justice — 3 days ago