u/CreativeBar1289

Im pretty sure we all know that the infamous Andrew tate was taken into custody last month. I really dont have an opinion on it other than the era of red pill is coming to a close.

I dont really hear a lot of men talk foundly about it like they did 5 years ago. It's interesting to see the rise and fall of culture. I watch from my chair just happy that I got out way before it became a curse to be associated with it.

However as I reflect, I think about who I am as a person and realized that I am no closer than I was before the red pill. Ironically I only got a gf when I was somewhat red pill adjacent. I say that because i never disrespected women nor acted like i was better.

Instead, I only followed the principles of confidence, being alpha, and understanding female nature. Essentially, accept women for what they are and be OK with gender dynamics. My reason for joining was that I felt alone and lost. I used to be more of the nice guy. So the red pill attracted me when it was about building yourself up. It fundamentally changed my perspective of what it meant to be nice. It taught me how women are just like men in terms of lust.

I think that idea alone helped me find dates. The reason for why I left was that I was too rigid with gender roles. I felt like I had to keep leading and not struggle with vulnerability. I had a girl leave because I came off weak emotionally. I thought it was because I wasn't alpha enough. But with reflection, I realized that I self selected for women who liked more red pill type men. Ultimately I could not keep up with that.

So i left and decided to be myself. Well, im back to square one and super single.

I really dont know what to make up it other than it is what it is.

​

Basically, everyone is busy in med school. Like I am understating even now because we are all applying to residency. It is crazy how busy it has gotten. For example, i am writing a personal statement and picking schools while trying to figure out where to apply.

However my mental health is gone. I am very depressed that I am starting to try to hang with residents. They legit are like go home lol. Im like I can be helpful and work. Everyone's cool but they dont want me to overwork myself.

So i need to find ways to make friends. I have considered becoming closer to med students but I dont know how to tell some people that I am lonely.

For example, there is a girl in my class that I used to text a lot. We kinda fell off once we started clinical. She also may not want anything to do with me either.

I say that because I try texting her a lot but she takes a while to respond. This was a while ago btw. She has a bf too so i dont try too hard. What hurt me recebtly is that people from my class had an outing at a club and I didnt invite me.

So i wonder if i am even likeable

So i dont know why but I have never been attractive towards women. I want to start off with how it happen. But now I am 28 and still a virgin with little no dating experiences.

Starting in high school, I was shy. All the girls wanted the more confident guy. That was fine so i had no women like me at all in the entire grade.

In college, I dont know why but most women I knew already had bfs. The ones that I had a crush on didnt like me at all. The women that did like me was not my type and kinda was low quality. For exmaple, I had a girl who got pregnant by a guy like me. I had a another girl who had bpd like me.

But an average women did wasnt coming after me.

After college, I joined a few church groups. Everyone already was dating someone. By the time of 24, every girl I knew from high school or college had an husband or fiance. I thought in med school, I would find my group however all the women had bfs as well.

Legit there was only one single girl in my entire class and she ended finding a guy outside of med school. Right now as I am about to graduate, there has been at least 20 weddings that I know of. In my own friend group, I have been to 4 weddings this year.

Im am only 28 and I dont know anyone who single.

What does someone like me do?

I'm currently in medical school and I have been humbled beyond recognition. My gf broke up with me last year. I crash my car and I ended up failing a rotation. Afterwards, I had got a bit beat up in the hospital and now I am studying for step 2 that is kicking my butt.

I rarely had friends through the process and because of my failure I am wrong harder to match. I have so many thoughts on my mind that being confident just can't happen right now.

Don't get me wrong I dont walk around sulking but that external confidence signal isn't there. I feel alone and gone. I am just doing good getting through.

The problem is that people's criticism affects me now and I have noticed that I have met more jerks recently than before. Barely do people give me compliments. So I crave some external validation to feel recognizable. I have found though people litteraly dont care and still see any form of wanting acceptance as weakness.

Why is that?

So I am almost pushing 30 and I realized through my life, I haven't really had the secret admired trope play out in my life. Typically, I am all alone with a lot of guy friends.

At best, this is something I noticed. Sometimes women may be friendly with me and borderline flirtatious but it doesn't mean they like me.

For example, I had a girl in my medical school flirt with me in class with arm touching, teasing, and strong eye contact. When I took it as a sign she liked me, she backed up. I literally waited a few months before I decided to even pursue it. Trust me we weren't close friends either so I didn't make the mistake of coming off as a friend. She just didn't like me like that. I have a few stories like that in my life.

Even to this day, this girl will not invite me out to parties however will like my message if I text her.

Then, when I go to bars I might have women give me the eyes. In fact, I had a girl do that recently. She actually came up to me. We talked for 2 hours and she said I was cute and wanted my number.

I went to text her the next day to plan a hangout and she was like "nah". She told me that she doesn't see me that way and she was just trying to have fun. Understand this woman wasn't drunk at all. She was fine and push the interaction the last 2 hours.

Outside of that, I have just hung to myself and my guy friends. But honestly, it has been a dry desert unless I am actively trying to talk to women.

​

I feel like spiderman from the brand new day with the amount of responsibilities that I have and how much I have to carry.

Unfortunately, no one is understanding. I am a 28 yr old virgin man who is living with his parents while in med school. It is a huge load on my shoulder due to how much I have to study daily. Right now, I am going to go study for 10 hours and do again tomorrow. I been doing this for 2 months straight.

But it is what it is tbh. However, I can't do anything about it. Smiliar to spiderman, I made some immature choices a year ago. I used to care about being invited to parties and dating. My mind used to be consumed by that 24/7. I still studied but I didn't care if I was the top of my class.

Well, I had a really bad situation last year with losing my gf, crashing my car, and failing a class. I was put on academic probation and just got off of it 2 weeks ago.

It's literally been a year. Now, I sit and study constantly because I don't have time to screw up.

So this is where I am at. I been to 4 weddings this year and got 2 more. Everyone I know is getting married and I won't even touch the pond for another 2 years.

How does one cope?

I feel like spiderman from the brand new day with the amount of responsibilities that I have and how much I have to carry.

Unfortunately, no one is understanding. I am a 28 yr old virgin man who is living with his parents while in med school. It is a huge load on my shoulder due to how much I have to study daily. Right now, I am going to go study for 10 hours and do again tomorrow. I been doing this for 2 months straight.

But it is what it is tbh. However, I can't do anything about it. Smiliar to spiderman, I made some immature choices a year ago. I used to care about being invited to parties and dating. My mind used to be consumed by that 24/7. I still studied but I didn't care if I was the top of my class.

Well, I had a really bad situation last year with losing my gf, crashing my car, and failing a class. I was put on academic probation and just got off of it 2 weeks ago.

It's literally been a year. Now, I sit and study constantly because I don't have time to screw up.

So this is where I am at. I been to 4 weddings this year and got 2 more. Everyone I know is getting married and I won't even touch the pond for another 2 years.

How does one cope?

​

So this is written by a virgin man who is 28 yrs old. I have only kissed 2 women in my life with my first kiss at 25. Both were women I was dating and both actually initiated lol. So yeah me since I didn't have to work the courage up. But honestly it did make me look shy though so I'm writing this to help dudes know when.

First, we have to accept that typically guys make the first move in relationships. It's kinda rare for women to do it unless you make her extremely safe and aroused then I noticed that women will take initiative. But honestly it's still kinda rare.

So you have a girl on a first date and you want to kiss her eventually, how do you do it?

1. Understand the women you are with. Some women don't want a first kiss on the first date. Others will stop dating if you don't do it within 3 dates. My rule is that I will hug them on a first date but let them know that kissing is reserved for when I feel like this is serious. That why I am communicating confidence and not shyness.

2. So you figured out the boundaries. Next is to just create a romantic vibe. Kissing is like step 3 of intimacy. First few step is holding hands and touching her shoulder. I'm not going into detail about that but if that is confusing, I can explain in the comments.

But basically, the date is going well so take her to a more private place like a park or a bench somewhere. Anywhere where you guys can just look at each other without the public noticing. Even the car works. I done that lol

3. Now that you are in a private place, start communicating kissing through body language. Give strong eye contact with a smirk. Flirt with her by touching her thigh and lean in close. This is a way to tell if she is interested anyway because if she starts to pull away then it's not time. Just talk and end the date.

4. Now that she isn't pulling away, do the triangle method. Look at her eyes and lips. If she does it too then she definitely sees what you see. Then say "I had a nice time" and just do it. At this point, a woman will allow it to happen because all the other boxes have been checked. Now if she turn her head, I'm sorry.

Just say I misread the vibe. This happens all the time and no women will fault you for trying. Honestly, some people say to ask for consent. This can be a turn off especially if you come off nervous. That is why I'm in the camp of reading body language.

The two women I was with both said that they would rather have me try than act nervous so that is why I say focus on creating a good vibe before the kiss. It should just happen naturally.

Now what happens if the vibe couldn't be created but you want a kiss anyway? I say then ask for consent since it is too abrupt. Just say "I really want to kiss you with confidence" then you will get a clear response.

I hope this helps someone one.

So when I imagine getting a gf, I imagine being with someone that I can sleep close to and cuddle with. Sometimes when I am out drunk with the boys( not too drunk just buzzed) I think about having a gf who lives down town in the city who would let me stay there.

Then we could watch a movie and passed out in each other arms. I also like the idea of being held. I wouldn't leave my gf's grip for anyone.

​

I almost feel like spiderman in brand new day where you are just working on yourself. You don't have a big social life and you are keeping to yourself due your line of work.

I am currently in med school and I have no plans to date. I'm trying apply to residency soon and the first year of residency is going to be brutal. I feel alone in this journey of life.

I am currently a virgin with no dating experience at 28 and I don't even talk to women. I am truly to business to try to work on it which is what sucks.

​

I been having hard knocks of life while trying to pursue a doctor. I been put on academic probation twice while in med school so idk if I will even match into residency. I crash my car late last year and I still live with my parents.

I work tirelessly in med school and only sleep 6 hours a night. To be honest, this probably will not change even when residency starts. Given my failures, I decided to delicate my life to my job. I write this as I am in the library which I have been for the last 5 months.

I do think one day it will change hopefully but because of my circumstances, I am very humble. I don't brag, not any more. I just work hard. And I can only promise that I will stay loyal to who ever I date especially as a doctor.

Idk when I will actually have time to date. To add more pressure, I am 28 yrs and a virgin. Residency is 4 more years of pressure which would put me at 33 yrs to complete my goal.

I'm curious how this looks to women.

So basically, I am a loser guys and I may not even match as a doctor. I have done everything up to this point but I have made many many mistakes along the way.

Medicine isn't like other careers and I want to explain it in a way so others who read this can truly understand.

You are not allowed to make mistakes. Problems follow you no matter what you do. It shows up on your transcript that forever explained. Yes it does matter to residency and people don't want to touch you with a long handle spoon. Now I can understand if you made some real mistakes such as you lack professionalism or endangered someone's life.

However, even small things such as failing an exam ends up on your letter that they send to residency. Could you imagine busting your butt off just to not match. I legit haven't had a lot of friends doing this process and feel alone. I don't know who to turn to at all

I had a friend got a DUI as a engineer. Got fired and then rehire making more at a different company. He lives recklessly while I barely live. I didn't fail because I slacked. I failed because I wasn't prepared for social and political element of med school. I legit study 10 hours a day and still lag behind.

Now in terms of patient care, I excel there. I have had many patients tell me that I will be a good doctor. But it doesn't matter. I tell people all the time "im not smart" im average. But who cares at this point.

I write this on this form because my burdens are extremely heavy. Now for those who wonder, "Well you can do something else than be a doctor"

Here is the thing, "I can't". I live in America which means I took at a large debt to become a doctor. It was a huge sacrifice and I am still sacrificing probably will until I am officially a doctor. Only the way out is through.

The biggest sacrifice is that I never willing dated. I am almost 30 and still wonder will I die single. I didn't really live a great life in my 20s either. Covid happened and I met zero friends during the time I applied to med school. I have nothing else to really look forward to.

So I need encouragement and support above all.

​

Basically, I have failed one too many times in med school. I repeated the first semester and then failed a rotation and had to remediate the entire rotation. I did failed the remediation exam just to passed it when I was given a do over which was an even harder exam.

No residency will accept me with my record and I am 250k in debt. I wasn't never good at getting women either. I'm still a virgin at 29 living with my parents.

I haven't really explained my academic journey that well so I will explain it now. I was pretty smart all my life however I always struggled through school. I struggled in language, chemistry, and history. I legit taught myself how to read since my reading level was very low in high school. I almost failed chemistry as well. I failed my SATs. However, my GPA was 3.8 due to my resilience.

In college, I did pretty well but i couldn't make friends. I decided to become a doctor. I had a panic attack before I could go so I reapplied and I retook the mcat which I failed originally. In med school, I was threatened with explusion twice but I always exceeded their expectations.

But now I am at the end of my rope. I have no friends really and never had a girl interested in me. I am currently writing this while study for 8 hours after I just studied for 8 hours every day.

I dont deserve anything in life and my life has been pretty hard since medicine. My cat died the day of my interview. My step brother committed suicide. I lost my cousin to cancer and had a close call with my dad getting a kidney transplant. I got in a car wreck and literally totalled my entire car because I fall asleep at the wheel. I had the only gf in my life leave me right after I found out I failed. I have been rejected probably 100 times if you count apps and just cold approach.

I'm tired and I would rather just be left alone for my entire life. There is no point in having confidence.

Basically, I have failed one too many times in med school. I repeated the first semester and then failed a rotation and had to remediate the entire rotation. I did failed the remediation exam just to passed it when I was given a do over which was an even harder exam.

No residency will accept me with my record and I am 250k in debt. I wasn't never good at getting women either. I'm still a virgin at 29 living with my parents.

I haven't really explained my academic journey that well so I will explain it now. I was pretty smart all my life however I always struggled through school. I struggled in language, chemistry, and history. I legit taught myself how to read since my reading level was very low in high school. I almost failed chemistry as well. I failed my SATs. However, my GPA was 3.8 due to my resilience.

In college, I did pretty well but i couldn't make friends. I decided to become a doctor. I had a panic attack before I could go so I reapplied and I retook the mcat which I failed originally. In med school, I was threatened with explusion twice but I always exceeded their expectations.

But now I am at the end of my rope. I have no friends really and never had a girl interested in me. I am currently writing this while study for 8 hours after I just studied for 8 hours every day.

I dont deserve anything in life and my life has been pretty hard since medicine. My cat died the day of my interview. My step brother committed suicide. I lost my cousin to cancer and had a close call with my dad getting a kidney transplant. I got in a car wreck and literally totalled my entire car because I fall asleep at the wheel. I had the only gf in my life leave me right after I found out I failed. I have been rejected probably 100 times if you count apps and just cold approach.

I'm tired and I would rather just be left alone for my entire life. There is no point in having confidence.

​

Basically, I have failed one too many times in school. I repeated my first semester because I failed by one point. I then, I went on to destroy the first 2 yrs of med school. I was on academic probation and I could not fail again so I made sure that I didn't. Then, I ended up passing step 1 which is a pass or fail course.

Afterwards, I went into rotations where I ended up failing my peds rotation. I honestly no one is going to believe me but trust me when I say that it was very unfair. I was put on a PICU team where I was the only med student. I wasn't told how to present and the residents didn't have time to teach.

Often times, they would go see the patient without me and wouldn't make time to tell me their plans before rounds. Then the attendings never once met with me to go over feedback. So I essentially didn't know how I was doing until the end where they said I suck.

There was signs they felt that way to be fair. I was getting haze daily which came in the form of asking pimping questions. Nothing I did sounded right to them. I even had a resident tell me "you would get eaten alive in internal medicine" My only mistake is that I never reported. I tried to act mature and just get through the rotation. Little did I know they collected data against me.

Their reviews were terrible so I had to meet with the board again. They told me that I would have to go through the entire 3rd year without failing another exam or rotation. Keep in mind ever other student would get one free do over. Above all, I pass the exam which didn't matter since my reviews were bad.

So since last August, I lived in the hospital ward after ward, speciality after speciality. I knew I was cooked. Then, I had other doctors tell me that I was really smart. My FM doctor told me I was one of the better students he worked with. So it encouraged me.

I ended up high passing all my rotations after that. I even earn some recommendations letters from surgeons. I just finished my ped remediation rotation. They put me in complex care and I had to work twice as hard. They knew I was repeating. Ironically this time, I failed the shelf by one point due to me waking up daily at 5 am and working until 4 pm . I also have been studying for step 2 so I was tired as heck.

Luckily my student dead advocated they I deserved a remediation exam. Everything was riding on it and I had all of July to study for it. I didn't play outside at all. Just study for 12 hours. I took it Thursday and passed with failing colors. So I am officially off of academic probation. Most likely if I messed up, I would have been kicked out.

Now I am out rhe stirring pan and into the fire. I have to take Step 2 soon. My score on that exam is everything. I am projected to score 250 which is really high but who knows honestly. I also I have to get my app together for residency so I wonder would I even match?

Then I am also super single and alone. I had to make huge sacrifices to get this far. I put on 20 pounds. I don't have many friends. This year long journey is over but what this lead to?

I am willing to work an extra year just to match until my dream speciality which Ansethesia. I feel like it is meant for me and I pray to God daily. Every Ansethesiologist have told me you are good at this so who knows. But I can't introduce a girl to this lifestyle because I am screw up and with alot of uncertainty

Repost because I am an idiot and I deleted this by accident

Basically, I have failed one too many times in school. I repeated my first semester because I failed by one point. I then, I went on to destroy the first 2 yrs of med school. I was on academic probation and I could not fail again so I made sure that I didn't. Then, I ended up passing step 1 which is a pass or fail course.

Afterwards, I went into rotations where I ended up failing my peds rotation. I honestly no one is going to believe me but trust me when I say that it was very unfair. I was put on a PICU team where I was the only med student. I wasn't told how to present and the residents didn't have time to teach.

Often times, they would go see the patient without me and wouldn't make time to tell me their plans before rounds. Then the attendings never once met with me to go over feedback. So I essentially didn't know how I was doing until the end where they said I suck.

There was signs they felt that way to be fair. I was getting haze daily which came in the form of asking pimping questions. Nothing I did sounded right to them. I even had a resident tell me "you would get eaten alive in internal medicine" My only mistake is that I never reported. I tried to act mature and just get through the rotation. Little did I know they collected data against me.

Their reviews were terrible so I had to meet with the board again. They told me that I would have to go through the entire 3rd year without failing another exam or rotation. Keep in mind ever other student would get one free do over. Above all, I pass the exam which didn't matter since my reviews were bad.

So since last August, I lived in the hospital ward after ward, speciality after speciality. I knew I was cooked. Then, I had other doctors tell me that I was really smart. My FM doctor told me I was one of the better students he worked with. So it encouraged me.

I ended up high passing all my rotations after that. I even earn some recommendations letters from surgeons. I just finished my ped remediation rotation. They put me in complex care and I had to work twice as hard. They knew I was repeating. Ironically this time, I failed the shelf by one point due to me waking up daily at 5 am and working until 4 pm . I also have been studying for step 2 so I was tired as heck.

Luckily my student dead advocated they I deserved a remediation exam. Everything was riding on it and I had all of July to study for it. I didn't play outside at all. Just study for 12 hours. I took it Thursday and passed with failing colors. So I am officially off of academic probation. Most likely if I messed up, I would have been kicked out.

Now I am out rhe stirring pan and into the fire. I have to take Step 2 soon. My score on that exam is everything. I am projected to score 250 which is really high but who knows honestly. I also I have to get my app together for residency so I wonder would I even match?

Then I am also super single and alone. I had to make huge sacrifices to get this far. I put on 20 pounds. I don't have many friends. This year long journey is over but what this lead to?

I am willing to work an extra year just to match until my dream speciality which Ansethesia. I feel like it is meant for me and I pray to God daily. Every Ansethesiologist have told me you are good at this so who knows. But I can't introduce a girl to this lifestyle because I am screw up and with alot of uncertainty

​

Basically, I have failed one too many times in school. I repeated my first semester because I failed by one point. I then, I went on to destroy the first 2 yrs of med school. I was on academic probation and I could not fail again so I made sure that I didn't. Then, I ended up passing step 1 which is a pass or fail course.

Afterwards, I went into rotations where I ended up failing my peds rotation. I honestly no one is going to believe me but trust me when I say that it was very unfair. I was put on a PICU team where I was the only med student. I wasn't told how to present and the residents didn't have time to teach.

Often times, they would go see the patient without me and wouldn't make time to tell me their plans before rounds. Then the attendings never once met with me to go over feedback. So I essentially didn't know how I was doing until the end where they said I suck.

There was signs they felt that way to be fair. I was getting haze daily which came in the form of asking pimping questions. Nothing I did sounded right to them. I even had a resident tell me "you would get eaten alive in internal medicine" My only mistake is that I never reported. I tried to act mature and just get through the rotation. Little did I know they collected data against me.

Their reviews were terrible so I had to meet with the board again. They told me that I would have to go through the entire 3rd year without failing another exam or rotation. Keep in mind ever other student would get one free do over. Above all, I pass the exam which didn't matter since my reviews were bad.

So since last August, I lived in the hospital ward after ward, speciality after speciality. I knew I was cooked. Then, I had other doctors tell me that I was really smart. My FM doctor told me I was one of the better students he worked with. So it encouraged me.

I ended up high passing all my rotations after that. I even earn some recommendations letters from surgeons. I just finished my ped remediation rotation. They put me in complex care and I had to work twice as hard. They knew I was repeating. Ironically this time, I failed the shelf by one point due to me waking up daily at 5 am and working until 4 pm . I also have been studying for step 2 so I was tired as heck.

Luckily my student dead advocated they I deserved a remediation exam. Everything was riding on it and I had all of July to study for it. I didn't play outside at all. Just study for 12 hours. I took it Thursday and passed with failing colors. So I am officially off of academic probation. Most likely if I messed up, I would have been kicked out.

Now I am out rhe stirring pan and into the fire. I have to take Step 2 soon. My score on that exam is everything. I am projected to score 250 which is really high but who knows honestly. I also I have to get my app together for residency so I wonder would I even match?

Then I am also super single and alone. I had to make huge sacrifices to get this far. I put on 20 pounds. I don't have many friends. This year long journey is over but what this lead to?

I am willing to work an extra year just to match until my dream speciality which Ansethesia. I feel like it is meant for me and I pray to God daily. Every Ansethesiologist have told me you are good at this so who knows. But I can't introduce a girl to this lifestyle because I am screw up and with alot of uncertainty

Basically, I have failed one too many times in school. I repeated my first semester because I failed by one point. I then, I went on to destroy the first 2 yrs of med school. I was on academic probation and I could not fail again so I made sure that I didn't. Then, I ended up passing step 1 which is a pass or fail course.

Afterwards, I went into rotations where I ended up failing my peds rotation. I honestly no one is going to believe me but trust me when I say that it was very unfair. I was put on a PICU team where I was the only med student. I wasn't told how to present and the residents didn't have time to teach.

Often times, they would go see the patient without me and wouldn't make time to tell me their plans before rounds. Then the attendings never once met with me to go over feedback. So I essentially didn't know how I was doing until the end where they said I suck.

There was signs they felt that way to be fair. I was getting haze daily which came in the form of asking pimping questions. Nothing I did sounded right to them. I even had a resident tell me "you would get eaten alive in internal medicine" My only mistake is that I never reported. I tried to act mature and just get through the rotation. Little did I know they collected data against me.

Their reviews were terrible so I had to meet with the board again. They told me that I would have to go through the entire 3rd year without failing another exam or rotation. Keep in mind ever other student would get one free do over. Above all, I pass the exam which didn't matter since my reviews were bad.

So since last August, I lived in the hospital ward after ward, speciality after speciality. I knew I was cooked. Then, I had other doctors tell me that I was really smart. My FM doctor told me I was one of the better students he worked with. So it encouraged me.

I ended up high passing all my rotations after that. I even earn some recommendations letters from surgeons. I just finished my ped remediation rotation. They put me in complex care and I had to work twice as hard. They knew I was repeating. Ironically this time, I failed the shelf by one point due to me waking up daily at 5 am and working until 4 pm . I also have been studying for step 2 so I was tired as heck.

Luckily my student dead advocated they I deserved a remediation exam. Everything was riding on it and I had all of July to study for it. I didn't play outside at all. Just study for 12 hours. I took it Thursday and passed with failing colors. So I am officially off of academic probation. Most likely if I messed up, I would have been kicked out.

Now I am out rhe stirring pan and into the fire. I have to take Step 2 soon. My score on that exam is everything. I am projected to score 250 which is really high but who knows honestly. I also I have to get my app together for residency so I wonder would I even match?

Then I am also super single and alone. I had to make huge sacrifices to get this far. I put on 20 pounds. I don't have many friends. This year long journey is over but what this lead to?

I am willing to work an extra year just to match until my dream speciality which Ansethesia. I feel like it is meant for me and I pray to God daily. Every Ansethesiologist have told me you are good at this so who knows. But I can't introduce a girl to this lifestyle because I am screw up and with alot of uncertainty

My life is just full of disappointments and I am constantly failing. My only skill set in life is that I don't get up, but I get knocked down again.

It has caused my parents a lot of stress of how my life turn out and I am currently living with them. I had my father cry on the phone when talking about how bad my life has been. Basically, it's all has to do with my career which has been uphill journey. I was in my room crying about it.

Long story short, it is no way I could exposed a woman to this madness. I feel like a loser. A woman would not want this amt of stress.

​

Basically, I had such a bad experience in med school. I failed my first semester and didn't fit in with my first year class. I had to repeat the entire year. After repeating the entire year, I still struggle to fit in with my new classmates. The only thing that I had going for me is that I did well coming back to med school.

I then had to pass step 1 which is this hard exam. I took studied day and night. But I passed after studying for 3 months straight. I struggle with women but I was able to get a gf. She broke up with me after I passed.

I started 3rd year and failed my second rotation due to evals. They said i was the worst student they ever worked with. I had to take it over again. That was last August. I legit became the beat student on all the other rotations to the point I had surgeons try to convince me to be a surgeon. I had to redo the rotation. This time I failed the shelf exam by one point.

I took all of July to study while studying for step 2. I didn't have fun this last month. I honestly don't care because I was not about to he kicked our of med school with a bunch of debt. Hell no!

I took it yesterday the remediation exam and passed with a high score. I take step 2 next week and I am projected to score high. I just feel exhausted and tired. I also feel like I kinda got abused. The amt of stress from my girl leaving me to almost getting kicked out has caused me to feel very uncertain about life.

I was told by a resident that "good luck in residency because you aren't that smart". I took that personally and legit only study 24/7. None of it is true as I had a doctor said recently "you are exactly what Healthcare needs"

I dont think I am marriage material and I pray literally everyday that residency is not that bad. I feel like I went to war. How can I bring a woman along with that type of journey?