u/Curious-Confusion642

Simple question.

I'm a guy and asked about cold approaching a few weeks ago but majority on here said to was a no go. They said to do hobbies and build rapport over the long term in a hobby group and what not instead of approaching strangers.

Then today I saw a post here about a woman who was concerned about a guy she met at the gym being redpill. Regardless of the details of the post, pretty much the guy had to cold approach her at the gym and it worked. One of my best friends had a similar story except at the library where he talked to someone and that led to a multi year relationship. I'm sure there's many stories like this where I guy saw someone interesting in a place like a gym, coffee shop, grocery store etc made small talk and got a date without having to join a hobby group and build rapport for 7 months before asking a woman out. However these were completely discounted on here in favour of building rapport.

So either the majority of people here have no clue themsleves about what does/doesn't work or is/isn't appropriate or they are just saying stuff that is disconnected from reality and makes them feel comfortable.

So let's completely disconnect from ideologies and what your personal take is. You tell me how and where you met your partner?

So for context you will have to check this link. (Hopefully doesn't get removed)

https://www.reddit.com/r/exredpill/s/VSlAVfWCNZ

Basically I asked about why the people teaching cold approach were always very odd and scammy and the whole thing wasn't mainstream. I got absolutely flamed and told in a million ways to Sunday how I'm wrong for even considering it and should focus on doing hobbies, making connections over a very long time and things will just happen. It's so weird to me that thsj somehow happens for people when my experience has been the complete 180 of that. That subreddit surely attracts a certain subsection of the population so maybe it's a sampling bias going on here and their answers aren't reflective of reality. I don't know. But at this point I'm so lost and confused I don't even know anymore.

Seriously this is just too much noise. Can anyone provide their thoughts? Is cold approaching really the devil or did I fall into an echo chamber?

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https://www.reddit.com/r/exredpill/s/5KN6St2dsC

I made a post about cold approaching and it seems like it's a no go for most "non-redpill" normal people. For most people they sort of fall into a community of sorts and from there they fall into a relationship. Really that's how its working for most people on here.

So I've done many hobbies in the past. Nothing clicked or got me any social feedback. Everyone just does the activity then leaves. That's it. There is no bonding or community building with anyone there. Since graduating university I haven't made a single friend let alone get into a relationship through these so called activities. It's just not a thing that happens like Redditors are saying it does.

Whenever I talked to others in these activities it barely goes beyond surface level or beyond the activity itself l. So if I try to push into deeper layers beyond say soccer nobody really responds or cares to reflect that energy back (cause I guess most people already have an established friend group and don't have the mental bandwidth). Also you only had so much time to talk to begin with because as soon as the activity was done people would just get up and try to leave immediately nobody is just lingering around bantering which is really what allows bonding. Whenever I would try to suggest an outing after the activity like lunch it got awkward and nobody really joined except one or two guys here and there. Then there's also this "taboo " about asking out someone in the activity you're doing cause your gonna see them again and it'll just make it awkward for them. So then that becomes just as "inappropriate" as cold approach cause now you've also made her uncomfortable and she may not enjoy that activity as much and she'll see you again.

And then to begin with the vast majority of activities are already 70%+ single dudes trying to hit on the same 1-2 women there (which we just established was a no go) so your odds are crap as well. So there's really no good answer here and this whole "go out and be yourself and the right people will come" people are suggesting is complete vague horseshit to me. It breaks down at the very obvious mechanical level when you walk through it step by step. Your gonna make some people uncomfortable and break some social rules but that's the only way dating works. Too bad. Take the plunge and offend others in the moment slightly.

People are saying I'm commodizing this but really the ONLY things that have worked are spamming approaches in nightclubs and swiping thousands of times on online dating (and even that took insane amounts of efforts which makes me question if it worth it).

I fail to find anyone really able to break down how it happened for them besides them just falling into it and suggesting you will as well when clearly this isn't the case.

In theory there shouldn't be anything wrong with going up to strangers making small talk and asking them for their number/coffee. This is probably the best way to get volume. Especially guys who most likely fall for the redpill are also the ones who will be most helped by learning this skill. You by pass dating apps, you bypass approval from social circles and you pretty much put destiny in your hands to shoot your shot.

However nobody normal teaches this and very few "normal people" do it. Mostly because it is awkward and takes a long time to get good at so most people just find someone through their social circles. So now when I want to learn this and I ask around and it's all just pickup artists, redpillers and course grifters who are willing to teach this. Every single one. Not one normal person I could find.

Why is this? Am I not seeing something obvious?

It's quite frustrating cause it is genuinely a good life skill.

So I am trying to get my testosterone tested and most of the TRT clinics near me are offering free tests+consultations with no commitment to sign up for treatment.

That seems like a huge cost they are taking on for no reason for the lab+doctor and no garuntee of getting a repeat customer. Wondering what the catch is. Why are they doing this?