I’m 33 male, worked a lot in life so didn’t keep hold of childhood/early adult friends.
As life goes on, trying to make friends seems harder. So if anyone wants to grab a coffee and chit chat. Hit me up 😊
I feel like a LOT of us went through the same thing. Almost identical stories. So use this post for your experience, and the worst things they’ve done. If they split/discarded/blocked/stonewalled, etc…
And if they still hoovered/tried to fix things after their insane behaviour.
(SORRY - had to delete the last post as comments weren’t showing up 😩)
I feel like a LOT of us went through the same thing. Almost identical stories. So use this post for your experience, and the worst things they’ve done. If they split/discarded/blocked/stonewalled, etc…
And if they still hoovered/tried to fix things after their insane behaviour.
I was FP for a BPD woman.
She lied to me about something, I called her out on it. First she begged me not to cut her off or be less close than we used to be, to which I was unsure. Then. Abrupt disappearance and block from her. No message or call to explain why. Anyway… I tried to call and message a few times, and knocked on her door (she has history of self harm and OD’ing) to check if she was alive.
Told friends I’m nasty and mean and all sorts of other things. Finally I sent an email essentially saying she can contact me when/if she’s ready to, and I hope she’s okay. She’s now travelling across the country to live somewhere else too, from what she told a mutual friend.
For that final email, she went to the police to say I’m harassing her. They called and said we can see why, but stop. So now I’m done.
I just want to ask - does she know how extreme she’s now made this over a falling out? Involving police was the last straw for me, so I can’t forgive.
Everyone also thinks given time to let things calm down, she will contact me one day as I was her only real support system in the world. What do you think? How can she possibly after all this?
I’d love to hear your thoughts.
Hey people wBPD.
Firstly I’m sorry you have this condition, and I wouldn’t wish it on my worst enemy.
I just want to ask a couple of questions, please.
When you split/discard - do you know some of your actions are destructive and do it anyway? Or is it uncontrollable?
Do you hate the person you’re discarding? Or something else?
What made you go back to the person you discarded. If you did go back…?
What’s the most extreme thing you’ve done? (Mine blocked me on everything, and called police for harassment (over 1 message - after 2 weeks of silence).
If there’s anything else you’d like to add to help understand better. I’d love to hear it.
Thank you.
Hi all,
So from what I’ve been reading, I was the FP for a quiet BPD woman. It was very intense, a lot of support and reassurance over the years. I even felt suffocated at some points, but I was still there for her. She was quite possessive over me too.
Anyway, I say all that to say….
We had a falling out when she lied to me about something, and when I told her I know the truth. She first begged me to forgive her, to which I said I’m unsure if I can. And then overnight disappeared. Full block(expect insta), and became close to one of our ex colleagues(male), who believes I’m a monster now too.
I chased her for a day or two. Then I went silent for 2 weeks too, since she was stonewalling me. Since I wasn’t blocked on insta, I sent a message to just check in, and hope she was okay(and leave the door open for communication).For that she called the police on me for harassment. Officer was reasonable and just said don’t contact her again, and I said I won’t. (Now I’m blocked on insta too).
What’s all this about? Isn’t this kinda extreme over being called out for lying?
I’d love your advice and if anyone has been in a similar situation. Please.
I worked with a lady for 4 years, who came to me for help and advice on a regular basis. With everyday things and also important things in her personal life. I was happy to help someone who I felt like needed it. She would message me at all times of the day and night, and honestly, she relied on me a lot.
We became quite close friends, where she would tell me a lot of things about herself and her family, etc.
We had a falling out, when she lied to me about something but at the same time expected me to help with it. So I just said, I don’t want to be involved.
She messaged all night asking not to cut her off or be less involved. She asked me not to abandon her, but I wasn’t hearing it.
Now I’m blocked, and can’t communicate with her. She’s telling people nasty things about me, and she has made a new ‘friend’ who is emotionally supporting her re our falling out.
I was her favourite person, but I’m not anymore I think. Overnight I haven’t heard from her for 3 weeks.
Can anyone explain what happened, and what they think will happen next? I kinda miss talking to her 😅