u/Competitive_Cloud499

I guess I won't say anything new, I've been wondering about this for a while but none of the posts seemed informative enough for me. Before you jump to conclusions, I did a little bit of research, I do know how black people were treated in the past (and in the present, really), what implications this word contains and how it was "reclaimed" or something, but I still fail to piece it together.

I might be still quite uneducated, since I am a white person (not a native English speaker), and I live in a country that, while being culturally diverse, doesn't have many black people (although I've seen some of them IRL, they are international students at my university), but I spend more time in global internet rather than in local. Maybe I wouldn't even question the n-word controversy too much if I weren't engaged in K-pop, where one idol or another does something questionable from time to time. Mimicking the black culture or saying n-word (when they lipsync to a rap song, for example) is offensive, and I suppose I understand why it's like that, but considering that the n-word is still so widespread, it kind of doesn't make sense to me.

Tl;dr: If it's this bad and black people get offended at people of other race for saying it, why don't they blame the black rappers for using it? Why is it supposed to be any kind of endearing when a person of other skintone says it? How does "reclaiming" of a word even works, in general?

(P.s. I was going to ask simply, "why do black people use the n-word casually and get offended if other people use it", but it seems that I fail to grasp the context of "reclaiming" the words in general. I don't see myself using any of the "reclaimed" words anyway. Like, I'm a bisexual girl, but I wouldn't call myself or anyone else of LGBTQIA+ community "queer", unless it's a label they put on themselves, and the phrase "serving cunt" kind of ticks me off for that very reason.)

I guess this topic and this situation overall will hang around for a long time, so I hope ruminating on it isn't a crime.

My interest in Xdinary Heroes got toned down a bit, I don't watch all these vlogs and shows, but I still like their music very much. Losing Gunil just like that, seemingly because he allowed himself to be human, shocked me. I don't want to sound parasocial, but the circumstances kind of resonate within me. I'm prone to oversharing, I'm very emotional, and really, I think that at some point I could ended up in the same situation, but it's not about me.

As I said, this decision is probably permanent. If a member leaves, there's no way back into the group/band for them, and and we all have to accept it eventually. While I hope that Gunil has people who can support him, I think of the remaining Heroes as well. I honestly don't know how all of this work, maybe all of them could still keep in touch, even after the leave and not in public. At least we all know that being an idol/musician in Korean entertainment industry is constant work, and maybe even now XH practice and work on new songs. The problem is, now I don't really want them to. I'm not sure if I'm trying to be all thoughtful and care about their feelings (which is kinda pointless, I don't even have a Bubble subscription), or I'm just being sure that without Gunil it won't be the same. Kind of "what's the point if he's not here?"

People say it's disrespectful to wish for a group's/band's disbandment after a certain member leaves, but I'm on verge of thinking like this. Right now, I don't want any new songs, any new concerts, anything from them. I want them to be okay somewhere, take a break, process this. Even if later they decide to keep going on and keep writing songs, I might check them out, but it probably won't get me excited. Even if the songs will be just as good as before Gunil's departure, I still don't want them.

I saw people mentioning that is Jun Han's birthday soon, too, and, call me selfish, I don't want any birthday live and Twitter/Instagram photos either. I know they can celebrate it anyway, but quietly, without making it public and pretending that everything's okay when it's not.

I'm not sure if I can finish this train of thought properly. Xdinary Heroes will always be 6. Please, take care of yourselves.

(I'm not a native English speaker so I apologize for my poor grammar)

First thing I should say is that I'm not that much of a fan of yansim, I had my phase, but now I'm in only to see if the game will be finished or not.

So, I keep seeing all of you discussing whatever trivia Alex throws in his Discord for you to put it on wiki or whatever, and when I see those "oooh Akane is sooo cruel I hate her" or "that sports' club leader is such a jerk", I can't help but wonder.

All of this stuff is just something that Alex said on discord so he would have more excuses not to work on the game, because "he has to answer all these fan emails", it's not even shown in the game proper. Like, how are we supposed to know if all of these things actually true? It's never shown, and even if they were, would they matter? The main characters of the game are Ayano, her senpai, the rivals and Info-chan. The others' purpose is only to be an obstacle for eliminations.

That could be said about any part of lore in yansim tbh, especially the Aishi family lore. As we all know, one of the main principles of storytelling is "show, don't tell", but now, almost everything that we know about characters is the things that have been told to us, and they don't even matter because it's about characters that are either background or not even implemented in the game.

The fans' lack of imagination and them not knowing what a headcanon is, so they keep asking Alex about the most of trivial things, is rather confusing, too, but that's a topic for another post.