u/Competitive_Walk_245

Hey guys, long time system wearer here.

For the longest time, i was dealing with really bad shedding, and my system would also become just crunchy and so dry and I could never figure out how to avoid both issues.

Its only in the past six months or so, that I've been able to solve both issues and I've never been happier with my system.

This is after many times of thinking I had found a product that would work to soften my system, and it would feel really good until it completely dried, and once that moisture was totally gone, my system just dried up super bad.

Lets talk first, about shedding. I used to think the main reason my system shedded so bad was because I got product into the poly that would loosen up the hairs, and while that might be a small part, ive found that truthfully, the main thing causing the shedding is: sleeping in the system without any protection.

You NEED a dew rag or a silk cap if youre gonna sleep with your system, point blank period. I actually like to use both a dew rag and silk pillow cases, to completely minimize friction. As you move in your sleep, it causes the hairs to get pulled out of the base, and then when you comb, or wash your hair, since the hair has been loosened so much from sleeping, the hair will just pull out even more and eventually come out all the way. Used to drive me crazy because I'd get a beautiful haircut and then a month or two down the line, the hair would be completely uneven on the ends and especially when my hair blew in the wind, it just looked super ratty and felt terrible against my face.

Now that I sleep with a dew rag and silk pillow cases, I haven't seen a single hair come up when I'm doing my hair. I used to dread doing maintenence on my hair because washing it and conditioning it and combing it would always end up with me losing a ton of hair, that doesn't happen anymore, I can even brush my hair and it stays nice and solid in the base, and I would have never dared to brush it before, would have lost so much hair.

Now let's talk about softness and shine. The dew rag comes in really handy here as well, I start out with a treatment, there are tons of good options, redken acidic bonding treatment is a great one, lately I'm using bond bar lammelar water rinse, which is only ten bucks from Sally beauty. I spray it onto my hands and then spread it over the top of the hair, and then take a comb to distribute the product throughout the hair, i try not to lather any slick products into the system because it does contribute to the hairs loosening up. Once it's evenly distributed, i will put the dew rag onto the hair so it's completely covered and then tie it, and just let it cook for a good 10 to 20 minutes, you can go longer if you want, can't hurt it, and if your system is super dry, might not hurt to go for half an hour.

Once that's done, I gently rinse the system out, meaning I dont put the water on full blast, helps to avoid any potential tangles, although when you are keeping your system soft and silky, tangles become way less of an issue.

Once I have that product rinsed out, I will take a lightweight oil, like jojoba oil, and spread some on my hands and repeat the process, spreading the oil on top of the hair and then combing it through, then put the dew rag on, put it on pretty tight.

I like to let the oil really really just sit and penetrate into the hair, theres really not a time limit.

Once you're done with that, gently rinse the hair, and then, take your favorite leave in conditioner, and repeat the same process, im using its a 10 miracle leave in, you don't need a lot, for any of the products actually. After you apply the leave in, do the dew rag again for about ten minutes or so, and when you take it off, the hair is going to be SO soft and silky, and it will actually stay that way when it totally dries.

The dew rag is the real hero here, it really helps to keep the hair wet throughout the process and helps to lock in the different products we are using. Ive never been happier with my hair, its so shiny and feels so luscious, I have to stop myself from constantly running my fingers through it.

The only thing my narc can actually do without having someone holding his hand, is go to work where there would be social consequences if he didn't. Every other thing, even picking up after his dogs poop, is something that just gets put off, and he will literally let the dog poop and piss pile up on the balcony rather than take a minute and pick it up.

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Even with his drinking, he's too lazy to go to the store five minutes down the street to get his booze, instead he will just order it and spend double or triple the money all so he doesn't have to life a finger.

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This man will quite literally ask you to do something for him when he is two foot from it and would take him no more than 30 seconds, he is that lazy, but the ironic thing is, he has the most to say about everyone else, he's the most judgemental person I've ever met.

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There is an excuse for him, for every single thing, excuses that are seemingly only reserved for him, the courtesy obviously doesn't extend to other people. He truly believes he is a special exception, so uniquely burdened, his life is harder than everyone else's you see, so it's not his fault he won't pickup his dogs shit, its not his fault he won't clean up his own puke, if everyone around him and the world at large didnt make his life so hard, then he'd be doing everything. That's literally the narrative in his head, the justification for why I have grown and flourished so much and he has gotten worse in every aspect, if I had it as hard as him, then I would be failing to!

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They are the ultimate victims, and it is EXHAUSTING.

So I've been lucky compared to lots of people, I started getting software development interviews basically right away once I started really seriously applying. I would have ai tweak every single resume, and luckily I've been doing this a long time and I also have an enterprise level app I've developed all by myself for a small company that seems to help boost the likelihood of getting called back.

Whats weird though, is for all the insane effort I've put into tweaking resumes, preparing for hours for interviews, and getting turned down in a couple very soul crushing ways, the job I finally got literally came from out of nowhere and from the most unlikely source, I really feel like I should go out and buy scratchers because for the stars to align like this when the odds of it happening, especially to me, one of the unluckiest people ever, seems like almost zero.

So things were getting desperate and I just needed to make money any way I could, so I posted on next door asking if anyone knew anyone that was hiring fast, the first few days I got a couple replies mentioning the usual suspects, but then 3 days ago, I got hit up by a lady on there telling me they needed some temp work and to come visit their office. I agreed to come and then asked what kind of work, and she said web development.

I honestly had zero clue what I was in for, if they were just gonna have me fix an issue on their server or what, but turned out their last programmer suddenly left and they needed someone to replace him, they gave me a very informal interview and then offered me the job on the spot, the pay is a little lower than I was targeting in my job search, but they are open to renegotiation once they see how i work, and to be honest it's more than sufficient. I started yesterday, and these people are awesome, its an extremely relaxed environment, very small advertising agency with about ten people working there and they are all extremely cool people.

They already gave me keys to the office and have made me feel so at home, the place is five minutes from my apartment, and I'll be able to go remote not to far down the line.

I still have interviews coming up, but my god, this place feels unreal, even if other places pay more, the environment here is so good, its going to be hard for me to decide.

Just wanted to hopefully give someone else hope, that sometimes your next opportunity is in the last place you expect.