u/Comprehensive-Ad1666

Hi there! I was recently diagnosed with BED. I don't know how to feel about it. Like I knew it was likely and I knew I have very disordered eating habits, but hearing it come from a professional just felt different. I have a lot of trauma relating to food/weight to work through in order to fix this, and I want to try.
Any tips/advice for what works and doesn't work for you?
Right now, my therapist and I are not working on *what* I am eating, but rather just *how much* and the binging aspect of things. I'm kind of scared and would love some ideas on how others handle this.

I feel this in friendships and see discourse about it online all the time and would love to hear other opinions. I feel like some people are the type of friends that can not see or talk to you for months/years and still view you as a best friend. Then there's people that if you don't keep in regular contact they feel like there is no longer any friendship. I see discourse online more often than not that's villainizing the people that have expectations of consistent communication and connection. Often women especially who feel this way are seen as "treating their friends like boyfriends" and "toxic" or "too much". Do you all agree? Where do you draw the line between normal expectations of friendships and "toxic"?

Personally, I am not the kind of friend that still feels a connection to you if we aren't consistent in communications/hang outs. Sometimes, I feel like it always ends up on me to reduce my expectations and wants and the other person that doesn't need as much connection is always catered to and seen as "sane" and "rational". Why isn't there an expectation of compromise from both sides?

I don't think it's too much to have expectations of close friends. I'm not saying we have to speak every day or hang out a specific number of times per month. But just some level of consistency and maintenance of our connection is what makes me feel our bond and feel it's strength. Without seeing a friend, I don't feel that anymore. If we aren't compatible because of this, that's totally fine! But why does one opinion seem to get demonized so much more? Why isn't it just seen as personality differences? Am I just on the wrong side of the internet?

Genuinely looking for honesty here, please give me a harsh truth if I am missing something!

Hi! My best friend is literally the best human being I know. When we first met she was in a long-distance relationship with intentions to move to him. I thought we wouldn't be friends because she was supposed to leave. However, when it came down to it he ended up moving here. Job opportunities are better here and she realized she would be miserable if she moved to him (remote area she didn't want to live in).
Our friendship grew and she was quickly my best friend. Then the boyfriend moved here. The first time I met him was at a wedding for a friend, he was her guest. That night he called us "mean girls" (for privately *in the car* talking about a dress we saw someone wearing that literally showed cheek. Nothing besides "wow that's short" was said. No bullying, and in the comfort and privacy of my vehicle). He also then watched her struggle to sign the guest book and hold her bag. She asked for help and he said no. I immediately had a bad taste in my mouth about him.
Over time I have seen more and more. I have seen him literally admit to only proposing to her to get her to move in with him faster. He is a contrarian who always wants to point out the flaw in whatever you just said or thought. He's the guy that tells her everything wrong with her to make sure "she's being a good person". She complains about having to beg him to do chores, things he promised before they moved in together. Their sex life has started to struggle and she is the only one truly putting in effort to fix it. He just acts like he's so put out and going to therapy just to appease her. Her family hates him and I have watched it drive a wedge between them. She thinks her family doesn't like him because he doesn't have as much money as they do, but her mom has opened up to me that she doesn't like him because of how he treats her/her family. She has all but stopped hanging out with me and we barely talk outside of our work. (Yes I am lucky enough to work with my bestie everyday)
I know it's normal as we get older to not be attached at the hip, but it's like I have to beg her to want to be around me outside of office hours. And I fear once they have kids it's just going to be even worse.
He isn't like a terrible, awful guy, but I know my best friend deserves better.
But she's happy. She says she loves him and he is her "twin flame" and "life partner". How do I get past how I feel about him? I don't want to be a shitty friend, but I feel like it's really affecting my thoughts and feelings toward her. Like I feel all these emotions building because I don't get how my smart as hell best friend can't see through this bullshit. I don't know how to just maintain my friendship and be normal when I feel like this. It feels like I'm lying to her and idk what to do. How do I be friends with someone who's partner I don't like?!

Hi - Does anyone else here have issues with maintaining friendships you know are good? Hear me out. My best friend - she is AMAZING. Truly the best friend I have ever had. She is intelligent, kind, considerate, funny, and overall just a genuinely good person. The problem I am having is the severity of how differently we grew up, and how differently we perceive the idea of being best friends. She was raised in a family with *money*. She was raised by a CEO dad that taught her to speak and hold herself like she is a CEO. She always speaks in business formal. The problem with this is she is not *my* CEO and I don't like being spoken to in that manner. It makes me feel belittled and like she isn't being genuine with me. We recently got into a "fight" (not that serious lol) where I felt like she overstepped at work and tried to micromanage how I do my job (again she is not a supervisor at all in our work, so not my boss and not her place to tell me what to do). When we spoke about it she left me a voice note saying "I really want to ensure that we are communicating and protecting both our personal and professional relationships". And something about it makes me feel like I want to crawl out of my own skin. It just feels so fake so speak to the person who is supposedly your best friend like we are in an HR meeting?
The thing is, I feel this way even when we aren't fighting? Like I always feel like she is trying to control how I am perceiving her and not just being honest with me. Or she will be so peppy and positive it feels cringy to me.
I know I have PTSD that comes from a lot of abuse and emotional neglect as a kid. I am not good at interacting with people. I don't think she's doing anything wrong, I think I am. But I don't know how to fix it or get myself out of this mindset. Help! Thoughts?
Side note: I know this sounds so shitty and I promise I don't want to be in this mindset/feel this way but I am at a total loss on how to get there.

Hi! A little bit of background here - I was raised by divorced parents. My dad married a horribly emotionally/physically abusive woman. My mom moved in with my Grandma and both of them are very emotionally stunted people. They both have been in survival mode their whole lives and had little to no tolerance for emotion from the kids. My emotional development was never fostered until I decided to start therapy and try for myself. I am about to have my 12th and final CPT session this week and overall I do feel like I have had some pretty big strides through it all. Identifying stuck points and being forced to literally open them up and talk through them for sure made a pretty big impact. I have seen my overall negativity and chronic anger significantly decrease. However, I feel like I am still having a huge issue with being open an vulnerable. I feel like there is still just this huge inner world in my head that nobody has ever seen. I talk ALOT, I am a yapper through and through. But I feel like none of it has true substance. I am not good at actually expressing emotion, if that makes sense? Even in therapy we keep having these awkward silences because I just don't know what to say. I know a huge part of this is just being raised by people who felt I was to be seen and not heard. My feelings were never cared about, so I learned to keep it in. I never learned how to express myself. The problem is, now I don't know where to start. How do I get more in touch with emotions and my ability to express them? How do I stop beating myself up about everything all the time? How do I stop feeling so uncomfortable around people I should be close to? How do I get comfortable being open even with my therapist? I just don't know where to even begin here. Hoping that someone who has maybe gone through this has some advice for me. Thank you.