u/ComprehensiveSir4566

Hi everyone,

I (38F) am not entirely sure if I have PGAD, but I’d like to share my story and see if I can get some feedback. Before I kick off with my story, I want to describe my symptoms. First off, I never have had pain. The first time it happened in 2023, it was limited to clitoris arousal (absolutely no desire, nothing to turn me on, no physical stimulation). It went away after about a month jn 2023. Fast forward to 2025, it reared its ugly ahead again, and was limited to clitoris arousal. However, by the end of 2025, it turned into left side arousal that I could feel through my pelvis, hip, down my thigh, and in my knee. I will say that I do experience slight irritation in my thigh and knee. I also experience it in my anus sometimes. Masturbation does not relieve the flare up. My sex is not impacted in any way. Onto my story:

I experienced my first ever flare up in March of 2023. My ex had a mental breakdown, blew up at me, and kicked me out of the house. I was absolutely traumatized and horrified by the series of events. My body was obviously going through extreme stress. I wanted to run into a Mack truck on the interstate. HORRIBLE TIME IN MY LIFE. I wasn’t eating. This sensation was so weird and was making me feel worse. My stupid ass took him back after a month, and the sensation went away.

In 2024, I,once again, put my body through extreme stress by going through an intense graduate program. I was also put on lamictal for my PMDD (it’s an incredible drug that saved my life) and had a Mirena IUD put in (once again, incredible. Saved my life). I dropped 40 lbs, my hair was falling out, and I was supporting my bum of an ex, who was struggling with severe mental health he would not get help for. The thing is though, is that the flareups never occurred throughout the year of 2024.

Fast forward to March 2025: the best and worst year of my life. My ex slipped and fell in the bathroom, resulting in a TBI. Had I not gotten him to the ER when I did, he would have died. He turned into a total monster, and all I would do is cry. Once again, lost MORE weight to the point I looked skeletal and like I was dying. He wouldn’t let his parents help take care of him, so I was his sole caretaker. I started getting dark thoughts again. I finally couldn’t take it anymore and told him I had to leave. Once again, he kicked me out. I literally NEVER went back.

Anyway, I’m here today and beyond the fact that I’ve struggled immensely with task paralysis and executive dysfunction since I ended my long term relationship, I am doing incredible. I’ve been in intense therapy for 18 months now. Unfortunately, I have had rather consistent flareups since April of 2025. In September 2025, I started getting monthly acupuncture to further treat my PMDD, and I told her about my PGAD. She thinks my pudendal nerve has endometriosis. In December 2025, my arousal intensified DRASTICALLY, especially in my luteal phase. It almost got to the point where it was UNBEARABLE.

I talked to the therapist about it, and she taught me some techniques on how to distract myself. Eventually, the flareups have pretty much declined quite a bit and aren’t as intense as they were in December and January. My flareups go bonkers before I start my cycle, and the day that I do start my cycle, I do not have cramps. I experience an intense flareup, and the arousal sensation wraps around my hip to my back! Absolutely no pain beyond the nerve irritation I experience down my thigh and in my knee! Once my cycle is over, the flareup pretty much disappears. Sometimes it occasionally flares up when my colon is going through peristalsis.

Anyway, there you have it. It’s just so ODD that it’s limited to my left side, and I experience what I’d best describe as “arousal” on the left side of my pelvis to my hip, and also painless pressure on the left side of my pelvis as well. Feeling the sensation of “arousal” in my thigh and knee, coupled with what feels like a fried nerve blows my mind. I’m thankful that it pretty much goes away after my cycle ends, but what gives? Anybody else experiencing this? What are you guys doing to treat it?

*I’ve also started a regimen of Chinese herbs provided by my acupuncturist. I’ve also been prescribed Vyvanse to treat my task paralysis and executive dysfunction.

If you’ve gotten this far, Thankyou for reading :)

Hi all!

Well, it’s finally happened for me (37 F). I’ve finally landed myself in my first ever healthy relationship with a man (37 M) with a beautiful soul. This thing’s been going on for a couple of months now, and he asked me to be official this past weekend. He‘s so handsome, talks to me every single day, inquisitive about my life, asks me what my expectations are in a relationship, wants to see my face IN PERSON, locks down our next meetups immediately, so sweet, so kind, huge heart, masculine, a freaking dork!!!!!, silly, funny, fun, driven, ambitious, successful, has made it crystal clear that he wants me and only me (romantically) in his life, and I’m not going to get into all the sexual stuff lolololol. HE IS ALL THE THINGS! FINALLY! I’m so blessed! I’m not on edge…I don’t get butterflies….I get that warm fuzzy blanket feeling with him. Im not wondering when/if I’m going to hear from him or see him.

The only real problem I’ve been facing since I’ve met him is that I’ve been experiencing extreme fatigue/lethargy ever since I’ve connected with him. He is not an exhausting person by any means! The reality though is that I’ve been struggling immensely with this exhaustion. I’m totally drained and worthless after each weekend we spend together. This is the first time in my life that I’ve allowed a healthy, secure man into my life. He would have given me the absolute ick prior to my horribly toxic ex. After I broke up with my ex, I started therapy and also had a spiritual awakening. He was my “lesson”. I could NOT keep living the life I lived and choosing the men I was choosing. Something had to change. I am very into things like meditation and acupuncture when it comes down to managing my energy. These practices also made me extremely exhausted and emotionally drained. I’m a year and half into therapy/post-spiritual awakening, and life is just so different now.

I guess I’m coming on here to ask today: has anyone had a similar experience? I suppose my nervous system is overwhelmed by the safety and security and is having to recalibrate. Looking forward to feedback.

Guys: girls make it clear when they want to be with you. They sleep with you. They want to see you. They clear their schedule for you. There are no other guys. They want to do sweet things for you. They want you to ask them out. It’s so simple. If you’ve been frienzoned, there’s no coming out of it.

Girls: when men want to be with you, they make it Austrian crystal clear. Maldives water crystal clear. They treat you with a sense of urgency. They want to see you in person. They don’t want anyone else being with you. They want a label. Yes, these guys still want sex, but they aren’t trying to get in your pants in the first month. If you’ve been “eff-zoned” (female version of being friendzoned) there’s no coming out of it.

Guys AND Girls:

If things are clear as mud….if you’re wondering…sitting in ambiguity….confused…THEY ARE NOT INTO YOU.

No one is avoidant of being with someone they want. They’re avoidant when they’re not interested in you. No one is afraid of a relationship or love. No one is THAT busy. THEY JUST ARE NOT THAT INTO YOU.

Think about that guy or girl who you KNOW is into you, that you don’t like back. THEY MAKE IT CLEAR THAT THEY LIKE YOU. You can FEEL IT. Think about that next time someone you’re into is confusing you.

If you’re having to decode texts….if they take DAYS to respond….if they keep bringing up how busy they are…if they’re taking WEEKS to schedule the next date (long distance isn’t the same)….THEY ARE NOT INTO YOU!

If you want things clarified, ASK THEM. ASK THEM!!!! PICK UP THE PHONE AND TALK TO THEM! YOU HAVE NOTHING TO LOSE. GET OUT OF YOUR OWN WAY. PUT YOUR EGO TO THE SIDE. The sooner you talk to them and ask them what’s up…..the better you’ll feel! You might not like the answer you get, and it may sting, but you’ll feel better and at ease. People are so afraid to ask and speak up due to ego and fear of being seen as weird, needy, or weak. If anything, it’s a sign of strength!!

If they decide they have changed their mind about you and don’t want to continue seeing you….it is OKAY. You WILL NOT DIE. It’s none of your business as to why they don’t want to continue things. Sure, they may have seemed soooooooo into you at first, but unfortunately, something changed along the way. This is the purpose of dating: to see if you’re into somebody. If they start fading out and give you a lame ass excuse like they’re “scared” or “not ready”, this is a total cop out. They’re lying and don’t want to hurt your feelings. If they ghost you, they’re a piece of shit. Why the eff would you want to be with a person WHO DOES NOT WANT YOU?! Why would you want to be with someone who doesn’t want to be around you, who isn’t in a hurry to see you, who isn’t EXCITED about seeing you, someone who doesn’t want to kiss and touch you, someone who doesn’t want to do fun things with you, someone who doesnt want to talk to you every day? Once someone’s made their mind up, why the eff would you want to change it?!

C’mon guys and girls…..you’re better than this. You’re better than sitting around wondering what you did wrong….wondering what’s wrong with you.…wondering why they changed their mind...yall need to learn to pump the brakes when things feel off. You need to walk away when someone isn’t consistent and making you feel confused. Put your foot down!!! You won’t die from rejection.

Final note: if you’re Reddit and TikTok looking for reassurance…..you have your answer. Someone who’s into you won’t have you on here asking for reassurance.

Signed, a person who’s fed up and has spent YEARS being this person sitting ambiguity. I don’t want others to keep being this person either. We deserve love and to be wanted! Love yall!

I (39F) connected with a guy (42M) online two weeks ago. I let the conversation die off because I reviewed his pictures and decided that I didn‘t find him all that good looking. Last week, he was assertive with me and wanted to get my number and take me out. I found it attractive. We talked on the phone for four hours. I am not wow’d by this because I am a great conversationalist and connect with people all the time - doesn’t mean I go on to date them.

He wanted to talk again the next night, and I agreed. We talked another two hours. Physically attractive or not, I don’t like talking this much before a first date. I told him I had things to do the next two nights. We talked again for another 2 hours tonight - video chat this time. I felt obligated to answer the phone tonight, and sure enough, I was sucked into the conversation. I was so turned off the whole time, but we just talk to each other so well. I’d started convincing myself that I didn’t want to go on the date today. I’m simply NOT physically attracted.

It makes me feel so sad because the universe has sent me someone that is meeting sooooo many of my wants (seemingly), yet he showed up in a less than desirable package. It makes me feel superficial and just so guilty. I should be grateful I’ve come across such a nice human. I freaking want these qualities he has. We share the same values. Another downside is that he has small children. He’s also alluded to possible trips together. Ugh. We’ve never even met, dude

Anyone ever dealt with this? Should I even bother going on the date?