Toxic co-worker has ruined my mental state
Ok it's been about a week since this all this went down and I'm still hung up on it so I just need some kind of outlet or I might explode.
I won't give a huge backstory I'll try and keep it short and sweet but I'm going to be fully honest and not twist this in anyway to make it seem like I'm not in the wrong because I also feel like I messed up in a lit of ways.
Anyway I have this co-worker, lets call her Erica. We both started working at this place at the same time and at the beginning she was ok. She was always negative, complained about all the night people, and whenever someone forgot to do something she would throw side eye but when she forgot something it was a “silly mistake”. Small red flags but it wasn't hurting me in anyway so I continued trying to be on her nice side.
I noticed right away she's very sensitive to being told she messed up or any sort of negative comment so it was like walking on eggs shells. But she is the only other morning person so I just did the best I could without causing anything. I’ve covered several of her shifts, have come in to help her on my days off, and have been as positive and supportive as I could be. The one and ONLY time I called out of work my manger told me I had to ask if anyone could cover for me. Obviously it has to be Erica because she's the only other morning person. But because I'm required to I did. She didn't sound happy about it but accepted anyway. I told her I was super greatful and that I appreciated it so much. So while I was sick in bed I got non stop calls and texts about how she hated coming in and that she's never taking anyone shift ever again. Ok awesome I guess.
Fast forward to more recently if ur here thanks for reading :)
She was texting me if I could come in and help her in the morning and I wasn't doing anything the next day so I agreed. However later that night I went through a depressive episode and wasn't feeling mentally stable. I left a voice note to my boss and Erica crying (I know embarrassing ) saying I needed time off and I couldn't come in tomorrow to help her. At first she was concerned but when I told her what was going on she became less concerned and more pissy. I went to go stay with my brother so I wasn't in town anymore anyway. She told me that “it wasn't fair to her that I couldn't come in” and I snapped and said “what the fuck do you want me to do I'm literally out of town and I'm not feeling mentally well” and also may have mentioned to her that I was a danger to myself. Ok I totally messed up here. I know I'm not the perfect person either and I can admit I should have just put down my phone before lashing out. The reason I said something so personal is because she before had been very open and personal with me. This was the first and last time I did that. I said I was sorry and that I was looking into a therapist and the next morning apologized again. She said I rubbed her the wrong way (fair tbh) and I don't really remember what else because I deleted her number but I told her id leave her alone from now. She at some point said “I won't be covering any of your shifts” as well.
Well the other day I get a message from her on a different app if I could cover her shift. I said “nope” and she BLEW UP AT ME. Calling me petty and hostile for not covering her shift and that it was my fault that she doesn't want to cover for me anymore (idk it was a whole paragraph I didn't read all of it). I just said “are you ok”? And she just kept going off.
Since then I've been in a really depressive mood and I wonder if it really was my fault and if I'm a weird and terrible person. Am I overly nice? Do I read relationships wrong and go to far? I'd I've just been spiraling and want to move on with my life.
(Also I did end up getting a therapist yay!)
(side note I low-key was being a little petty with not taking her shift lol)