I really, really wanted it to be us
It felt like that's the way we were headed. There were obstacles, but they'd mostly been moved out of the way and we'd finally be together.
And then, just when I sensed there would be an opening, you made your decision. I don't blame you for going in a different direction. It's just that I really hoped it would be us. You know how sometimes you meet a person that makes all your prior pain and setbacks make sense, so you don't feel bad about them anymore? You were that person for me. You made the past make sense. And now you're part of it, and I have even more emotional wreckage.
I'm just rambling now. But there's one particular day I keep going back to that was the last time we saw each other, when I feel I had an opportunity to make my feelings known. And yet, I hesitated. Why? I can't fully explain. Would it have made a difference or was your mind already made up at that point? Again, I don't know and I never will. But it's something I regret sorely.
It really feels like you were my last chance to get things right. People say that after every missed opportunity or relationship, but at this stage of the game it seems to ring truer than usual for me, on some level at least. In any case, I just wish it could have been us. I really, really wish it were us.