Being a human and showing expression is exhausting
The social norms we have to abide by are so exhausting to do on an everyday basis for me. Every day, I'm expected to reciprocate energy, gestures, smiles, jokes, etc. If you're not smiling or content, people assume that something is wrong, and they try to pry to be helpful. In the worst case scenario, they think you are rude and avoid you like the plague.
Like, I promise I'm not trying to be rude I just sometimes want to go through my day without having to mask emotion. Work, go home, and watch TV with the same lack of expression. The constant expectation of having to show with my face what I'm feeling is exhausting. People glaring at you because you're not constantly smiling or seem happy to be here is exhausting. Having to match energy, so people treat you nice is exhausting.
Keeping tabs on everything that happens and asking people how they're feeling if something bad happens is exhausting. I also think it kind of makes the whole interaction fake? I want to ask because I care, not because it'll make me feel guilty if I don't but if I don't ask people right after I see them they assume I'm being rude. Maybe I am being rude, but it's not on purpose. Sometimes it's just hard for me to make the connection or for that spark in my brain to light up and say “hey this person went through it yesterday, how are they feeling?".
Interactions just don't feel genuine anymore at times. I want to show I'm happy when I really do feel happy. I want to match energy whenever I want to match energy. I don't want to be expected to follow a dialogue to not hurt people's feelings. I want to take control of that back.