u/Correct-Promise-2358

i have severe anxiety and soon i’m going to be moving in with a roommate

i have a crippling anxiety disorder and soon i’ve gotta move in with a roommate. i haven’t met her. i don’t know her name. it’s at a hostel so im sleeping on a top bunk and sharing a tiny bathroom.

i’ve never had a roommate before or even a sibling so this is all totally new to me and way out of my comfort zone. the thing im most scared of is if she uses thc vapes in the room, like what if she vaped thc and it gets me high too. i’m also scared of if she does drugs and then has drugs residue on her hands and touches things and then i touch those things and get high.

i’m so scared she’s gonna be doing drugs and fighting. i’m also scared that she could drug my water bottle. or switch out my meds. i hate germs and im terrified she’s gonna be dirty and messy. especially around the bathroom. i vape but i hate when other people vape because idk if they’re vaping drugs or anything scary then thats gonna affect me too. i’m also so stressed about how im gonna vape because im used to just vaping in my room but i cant vape in front of her as its against the rules and im agoraphobic.

I spend most of my time being depressed in bed but I can’t do that in front of her. I’m gonna have to go out places and try to fix my life as I said I’m an agoraphobic. I don’t know how I’m gonna cope with anxiety, dpdr and panic attacks while having a roommate. i’m also autistic and i feel like im gonna be so exhausted and irritated from masking all the time.

I also have to put like 90% of my stuff in a storage unit because there’s literally no storage there at the new room. There isn’t even a wardrobe just a tiny locker so that’s another expense. I really can’t afford and then I’m gonna have to pay for a bunch of taxis to move the stuff to the storage unit packing has been extremely hard and overwhelming. I just feel so burnt out and anxious and tired and stressed and depressed. I really need help. This is beyond my capabilities, especially my mental health, but I don’t have anyone literally just myself.

eta: the hostel also provides dinner, but I’m terrified to eat it in case it’s spiked with drugs or contaminated or gonna give me food poisoning. But the only other option is to buy my own food which again is an expense I cannot afford and there’s set kitchen times.

i have a crippling anxiety disorder and soon i’ve gotta move in with a roommate. i haven’t met her. i don’t know her name. it’s at a hostel so im sleeping on a top bunk and sharing a tiny bathroom.

i’ve never had a roommate before or even a sibling so this is all totally new to me and way out of my comfort zone. the thing im most scared of is if she uses thc vapes in the room, like what if she vaped thc and it gets me high too. i’m also scared of if she does drugs and then has drugs residue on her hands and touches things and then i touch those things and get high.

i’m so scared she’s gonna be doing drugs and fighting. i’m also scared that she could drug my water bottle. or switch out my meds. i hate germs and im terrified she’s gonna be dirty and messy. especially around the bathroom. i vape but i hate when other people vape because idk if they’re vaping drugs or anything scary then thats gonna affect me too. i’m also so stressed about how im gonna vape because im used to just vaping in my room but i cant vape in front of her as its against the rules and im agoraphobic.

I spend most of my time being depressed in bed but I can’t do that in front of her. I’m gonna have to go out places and try to fix my life as I said I’m an agoraphobic. I don’t know how I’m gonna cope with dpdr and panic attacks while having a roommate. i’m also autistic and i feel like im gonna be so exhausted and irritated from masking all the time.

I also have to put like 90% of my stuff in a storage unit because there’s literally no storage there at the new room. There isn’t even a wardrobe just a tiny locker so that’s another expense. I really can’t afford and then I’m gonna have to pay for a bunch of taxis to move the stuff to the storage unit packing has been extremely hard and overwhelming. I just feel so burnt out and anxious and tired and stressed and depressed. I really need help. This is beyond my capabilities, especially my mental health, but I don’t have anyone literally just myself.

eta: the hostel also provides dinner, but I’m terrified to eat it in case it’s spiked with drugs or contaminated or gonna give me food poisoning. But the only other option is to buy my own food which again is an expense I cannot afford and there’s set kitchen times.

so as we all know there’s been a rise in mass immigration, the country i live in has lot of male immigrants from afghanistan, pakistan and somalia. i’m a leftist and completely support immigration. i understand why they’re moving here. they deserve safety and stability. I’m also aware that them coming here helps their female relatives that were unable to leave the country. they work and send them money to survive back home.

I know the right loves to fearmonger all these crazy conspiracies about immigrants that just aren’t true. However, I’ve interacted with a lot of male immigrants and they are mostly extremely misogynistic. I’ve tried correcting things they say, but they don’t listen to me because I’m a woman. They just laugh at me.

I was also raped by a male immigrant. he also expressed being attracted to 14 year olds. I’m fully aware that the majority of violent crimes are committed by straight white men. But I can’t help but wonder if more crimes would be committed by immigrants if they weren’t afraid of being deported. also most violent crimes against women are committed by somebody that she already knows and immigrants don’t tend to know that many women. (at least all the ones i’ve encountered don’t. They stick to their communities which consist of just men) don’t get me wrong I definitely don’t think that immigrants would ever surpass the number of crimes committed by white men but I personally believe the amount of crimes they do commit would rise if they weren’t afraid of the consequences. some of them that i’ve spoken to genuinely don’t see the issue about how women are treated in Afghanistan.

what do you think can be done to try educate them and help them unlearn their misogyny? Misogynists are almost never gonna listen to a woman and it’s not like other men are any better or going to help them. i’ve even shown one guy the rape culture pyramid and he just told me it wasn’t true.

I’m also wondering as a feminist do you really feel comfortable with undocumented men? i don’t feel comfortable around ANY men so it’s kinda of just even more men to be uncomfortable around.

The entire world is so misogynistic that even if they did integrate into different communities, they would just be taken from a level 10 misogynist to a level 7. at best.

i’ve also seen some right wing men converting to islam so they can justify treating women like shit and try push their extremely misogynistic views onto other people. i had a muslim revert tell me im going to be beheaded for showing my hair and face (i was raised catholic then turned atheist) and I’m aware this is not what Islam actually pushes but rather the culture surrounding it.

am i in the wrong for being angry even more misogynistic men are moving here? is there something im over looking?

i would love to hear someone else’s thoughts!

eta: it’s also disheartening that as leftists we support them so much but they’re mostly very far right in their own beliefs.

so as we all know there’s been a rise in mass immigration, the country i live in has lot of male immigrants from afghanistan, pakistan and somalia. i’m a leftist and completely support immigration. i understand why they’re moving here. they deserve safety and stability. I’m also aware that them coming here helps their female relatives that were unable to leave the country. they work and send them money to survive back home.

I know the right loves to fearmonger all these crazy conspiracies about immigrants that just aren’t true. However, I’ve interacted with a lot of male immigrants and they are mostly extremely misogynistic. I’ve tried correcting things they say, but they don’t listen to me because I’m a woman. They just laugh at me.

I was also raped by a male immigrant. he also expressed being attracted to 14 year olds. I’m fully aware that the majority of violent crimes are committed by straight white men. But I can’t help but wonder if more crimes would be committed by immigrants if they weren’t afraid of being deported. also most violent crimes against women are committed by somebody that she already knows and immigrants don’t tend to know that many women. (at least all the ones i’ve encountered don’t. They stick to their communities which consist of just men) don’t get me wrong I definitely don’t think that immigrants would ever surpass the number of crimes committed by white men but I personally believe the amount of crimes they do commit would rise if they weren’t afraid of the consequences. some of them that i’ve spoken to genuinely don’t see the issue about how women are treated in Afghanistan.

what do you think can be done to try educate them and help them unlearn their misogyny? Misogynists are almost never gonna listen to a woman and it’s not like other men are any better or going to help them. i’ve even shown one guy the rape culture pyramid and he just told me it wasn’t true.

I’m also wondering as a feminist do you really feel comfortable with undocumented men? i don’t feel comfortable around ANY men so it’s kinda of just even more men to be uncomfortable around.

The entire world is so misogynistic that even if they did integrate into different communities, they would just be taken from a level 10 misogynist to a level 7. at best.

i’ve also seen some right wing men converting to islam so they can justify treating women like shit and try push their extremely misogynistic views onto other people. i had a muslim revert tell me im going to be beheaded for showing my hair and face (i was raised catholic then turned atheist) and I’m aware this is not what Islam actually pushes but rather the culture surrounding it.

am i in the wrong for being angry even more misogynistic men are moving here? is there something im over looking?

i would love to hear someone else’s thoughts!

eta: it’s also disheartening that we support them so much but they’re mostly very far right in their own beliefs.