u/Cozyinfrance

Hey everyone, I just need to vent because my blood is absolutely boiling right now and I don't even know what to do with all this anger.

I’m going to admit it upfront: I’m not a cat person. Two months ago, my "savior complex" completely took over when a furious neighbor from a neighboring building started shouting, threatening to call animal control or kill the cat because it was marking its territory. I panicked, stepped in, and spent the last two months putting up flyers in person/online, searching on websites to see if he was someone's cat, researching cats, and coordinating with the only local shelter in my area.

Because the cat is actually quite social, the shelter agreed to let me foster him. The plan was to get him fully vaccinated, microchipped, and sterilized. I was going to see if he adapted to indoor life, but since he’s spent at least 3 years outside, we knew he’d likely need a home with a safe, enclosed outdoor space. In fact, looking at the charity's strict guidelines, I couldn't even legally adopt him if I wanted to since they require a fully netted balcony or a secured garden, and my building strictly bans balcony netting. Other cat owners in my building encouraged me to go through with the fostering anyway, just to get him safe and vetted so he could be adopted out to a proper home later.

Well, enter Useless Amy from the ground floor.

I used to think this was her cat because he hangs out in on her balcony, and literally goes inside her apartment to eat and nap. Turns out, he's just a stray she feeds. But her ego is so massive, she has completely sabotaged the entire rescue.

When we tried to use the trap cage, we failed. She didn't follow instructions and caught a neighbor's cat.

The shelter told me flat out: because she is on the ground floor and controls his food, they cannot do anything without her cooperation. But now, she has completely turned around and said that since I am not signing a permanent adoption contract right now, she sees "no point" in trapping him. She wants him to stay outdoor, un-neutered, and unregistered. The shelter is now irritated with the whole situation, and they basically backed off.

The hypocrisy is unreal. This woman has lived with this cat for 3 years, claims to care, but doesn't give a crap about his safety. I just found out her own indoor-outdoor cats aren't even microchipped! It's obligatory in my country and her cats can be taken by animal control and she can be fined.

She is a much older woman and she is currently battling cancer. Because of her situation and her age, I can't even go off on her the way I want to. I’m a lot younger, so I'm trying my absolute best to stay calm, polite, and respectful. But I'm pissed tf off at her selfishness and for wasting my time and the shelters time.

Bonjour,

​Je subis les appels insistants d'un numéro commençant par 0767 uniquement la nuit, à des heures très bizarres. Ils n'envoient aucun SMS et ne laissent jamais de message vocal.

​Pourtant, mon numéro est bien inscrit sur Bloctel et j'utilise Saracroche pour bloquer les spams. Des appels sont bloqués tous les jours, mais celui-ci réussit à passer à travers. C'est introuvable sur internet. Je vais le bloquer mais je voudrais savoir : est-ce que les numéros commençant par 07 67 sont des numéros personnels (de particuliers) ? Ou bien s'agit-il de numéros commerciaux ou attribués à autre chose ?

I’m curious to know how being an orphan affects your social life.

For me, the reality of having no family safety net shows up in the most frustrating ways. Take work, for example. When it comes to booking time off for holidays, I am always the last one to be considered. People just assume I have nothing to do and nowhere to go. Tbh they’re technically right 😂I don't have parents to visit or kids of my own. But it’s still incredibly alienating to always be the afterthought.

It really makes you see the unspoken hierarchy of society. It’s always immediate family, partners, and kids first. Friends are always down-prioritized at the bottom of the list. People just don't feel the need to communicate or invest in friendships the same way they do with family. I’m not angry at the world about it anymore.I don’t blame people, I just accept it as a fact of life. But it doesn't make it any less hard. I invest so much into my connections, but I rarely get that same energy back because everyone else has a primary family to go home to.

People give advice like, "Just get hobbies! Travel! Do things for yourself!" I do all of that. I have hobbies, I travel, I do all the things society tells you to do as indicators of having a "good time". I'm still not having a great time. The void is still there.

Some people tell me I should just get married and have a kid to fill the gap, but I think putting all your hopes, expectations, and emotional burdens onto an unborn child just to escape your own loneliness is completely unfair.

When I look at the big picture, it feels like I'm staring down a very long, very tiring life of isolation. Friends come and go, you can make new ones if you're motivated enough. But family isn't something that just comes and goes. You can't manifest that specific kind of unconditional love out of thin air.

Hi everyone, I’m looking for some advice or insight. I’m in France and today was supposed to be the day a local association came to trap a regular stray in my apartment complex for TNR (sterilization/vaccination).

Usually, this cat arrives at 5:00 PM like clockwork, meowing for attention and very food-motivated. However, today his behavior is completely bizarre and I’m worried:

Slow Movement: He is walking very slowly, lacking his usual energy and almost crouching and not walking with "pride".

No Food Drive: I asked all neighbors to withhold food today so he’d be hungry for the trap, but he showed zero interest in the food inside. Even his favorite treats, which he usually goes crazy for, didn't interest him ( I tried to get his attention but he didn't care). He even seemed to be avoiding me.

Distracted/Avoidant: He seems "spaced out" and distracted by things I can't see. He isn't seeking human contact or "calling" like he normally does.

The Environment: To make sure he was the only one near the trap, all neighbors kept their own cats inside. It's unusually quiet and all the other cats are "missing" from the scene.

Could the smell of the trap or the fact that the other neighborhood cats are locked away be spooking him this much? I'm worried because he isn't his usual self at all and I missed the window to trap him today with the association.

I live in an apartment complex in France with a communal outdoor space where several cats live in harmony ( 2 stray cats amongst them). One stray has been here for 3 years; he’s gone from starving to very social, though he isn't used to being held.

He’s being neutered this week, and I’ve been given 3 choices:

1.Foster him: If I do this, he enters the system. If he doesn't work out with me, he must be adopted elsewhere. He cannot come back to the street (legal stray cat). Btw the volunteer said the others wouldn't allow it but he has a bad habit of taking them in.

2.Adopt him: Take him in permanently as my own.

3.Release him: He stays a "Chat Libre" (legal stray). He stays with his cat friends here, but can never be adopted (can but extremely rare since you need the shelters permission: they don't believe adult stray cats can become indoor cats).

I really wanted to adopt a cat, but my "dream" was an exclusively indoor cat whose history I knew, a cat I chose (indoor socialised adult cat from shelter) rather than one that "chose" me. I feel guilty saying that, but a cat is a 15+ year commitment.

I need to be clear about the situation here in France: the association helping him is not a big shelter with a building. They are a network of foster families. If I agree to foster him and it goes wrong, there is no "shelter" for him to go back to. He would have to go to another foster family, or I’d be stuck in a situation I can't handle.

My biggest fear is that by trying to "save" him, I might actually ruin the decent life he has now. Right now, he is in a territory he knows with neighbors who feed him. If I take him in and he hates it, or if I mess up his transition because I’m a total newbie, he can’t just "go back" to being a neighborhood stray. He’d be moved to a stranger’s house in a new town, and if he escaped there, he’d be totally lost.

Is it better to leave him as a "legal stray" where he’s comfortable and knows the area, even if that means he has no long-term security?Am I being a hero or just being selfish by trying to change his life when I don't know what I'm doing? Please be honest.