u/CptCrimsonz

Problem/Goal: I [M] ended courting someone due her maybe being an avoidant. How do you move on from this pain again?

Context: This is only my side of the story as she did not explain what is happening to her and just stop communicating with me. We were good to the point na label nalang ang kulang. But one day hindi nalang sya nagreply so baka may problema lang kako at pinalipas ko muna. Next day ay tuloy parin so kinamusta ko na sya at tinanong ano ang nangyayari, sinabi na kung kailangan nya ng kausap ay nandito lang ako. From there eh parang nag crashout nalang sya, she told me na I don't deserve her and she suddenly can't reciprocate what I feel for her. I gave her weeks to think about it baka kako she just needs to clear her mind pero wala she did not talk to me anymore. I decided to choose my peace and told her I will be ending what we are doing and move on. From what I saw/experienced I think I was correct in choosing my peace pero bakit ganon ang sakit parin.

Previous Attempts: How do you do this. I tried distracting myself by working, running and just plain playing dota pero pag wala na akong ginagawa bumabalik ang lungkot. I stand firm with what I decided to do but why does it hurt this much.

More context: This is my first time in a long time to open my heart and try dating again. Lagi ko sinasabi sa sarili ko na being ready is a choice and not a feeling so ayun I was ready. Then I've met her and sobrang dali ng conversation, same humor, likes and more. Akala ko sya na talaga.

Sa pakiramdam ko kasi if gusto mo din talaga ako, you should be able to tell me if may problema or mali akong nagawa. I am ready to face what I did and change it pero walang siyang sinabi. The old me would have beg for us to talk about it kahit na di na sya nagpaparamdam and adjust so that I would not lose her. Pero siguro di ko na deserve ulit mag mahal ng ganon? SIguro naman I deserve better din? Hindi ko na din alam.

As for the avoidant part, I told my friends what happened and they told me na parang nasa side sya na being an avoidant person. This is my first time encountering a person like that.

Why do I feel this way? Bakit ang sakit? I am now doubting myself na hindi parin ba ako natututo sa past mistakes ko at mali parin ba nagawa ko? Ang hirap lang kahit anong oras bigla nalang ako tinatamaan ng lungkot.

Pasensya na din if may mga maling grammar and spellings. Typing this while crying.

Question: Does it help on a long run?

About my situation: Hi I've been running for almost 2 years now pero kadalasan eh pag kaya lang isingit sa schedule. Let's say 2-3 times a week at most with a race pace around 7:30. I just got a garmin watch recently and a friend of mine recommended to change the daily training to HR base. It usually recommends me to run on my Zone 3 HR, does it help? I feel good after runs pero di ko sigurado if ok ba ito. I also follow the training recommendation if I go tempo or recovery.

Hello. Balak ko sana sumama sa mga joiners sa pag akyat ng bundok pero wala pa akong idea sa mga gear at kailangan dalhin. Ayoko din naman bumili ng sobra o mapadami ang dala. Any recommendation and tips na din? Thank you!

Hello.

I really am not sure where should I start first as I am new to this. Would like to know some recommendation of clinics and price ranged so I can start helping myself.

Thank you!

Problem/Goal: I [M] am dating a girl who self-sabotage when things are going good for her during her previous relationship. How do I proceed with it?

Context: I have been talking to this girl for almost 2 months now and we are doing well. During one of our conversation, she told me that she is sorry for not being able to share an issue of her as she was not yet ready to tell me. I respected that and told her that it's fine and she can do it if she is ready to tell me. Then comes the day she told me some parts of it, it was her self-sabotaging during her previous relationship that was the most stable. She did not say the main reason why she does that but I got the gist of it. Context on my end: I have not been in a relationship since HS. Been dating but always ends on the bad side. I also had been on a self-sabotage during one of the previous girls I've dated. As for the current girl I am dating, I do really like her and now I am nervous because I might make a mistake. So would appreciate any advice that would be given. Thank you.

Previous Attempts: What I do now is just assure her that I understand why she did that before because I did that as well. I also told her that we can do it slowly and not rush thing for her not to feel overwhelmed. I not sure if what I did to myself can help on my current situation which is I accepted that I did crash out and I told myself that I should be fair to my next partner and be honest on what I feel because communication is better than assuming a thing that is only in the mind.