My subscription has ended so I was thinking if I should continue same or create a new one. I have seen many doing it on the app. Basically seeing the same profile as just joined. Does it help in anyway? I think those who have rejected me or whom I have rejected will most likely do the same thing again. Would it make any difference if I created a new account?
What are you looking for and how? Are you trying to get the prettiest girl you can get by showing off your income and status. A guy in my social circle did this recently. He is not good looking and short as well but he makes a lot of money and is in a high status job. I believe he had mentioned about it in his matrimonial profile. Now the girl he finally got engaged with recently is damn gorgeous. She looks like a model. Now I am third person and don't know their dynamics but something about it feels off. If not for his income and status, that girl would not even look at him let alone get engaged. So following along similar line is difficult for me. I don't make as much as him but I have decent income but I don't want to become some girl's wallet.
I have been trying to engage with women in matrimonial and try to have conversations but what I observed is that a lot of women there have no excitement or curiousity about the guy. Some women straight up get to the point like how much you make, do you have house, will you live with parents. Some of the women I talked with were all against patriarchy and did not want to do any household chores and complained a lot about how women have so much responsibility in marriage. I told them that I don't expect any of that from them and we can share and do things together or even hire house help. Irony is none of them ever mentioned anything about contributing to household finances. They all assumed that I would be taking care of house, car, vacation and all other expenses.
Now I understand arrange marriage is not love marriage and the rules are different here. There are so many factors involved here like family background, caste, job compatibility, region etc which makes things complicated. So should I just do what many guys end up doing? Get some rishtas via relative, go to see the girl and if both like each other in 10-15 mins, finalize and get married. A guy in my family did this recently. Doing this is actually in my advantage because I know I will be assessed mainly on my job, income and status and I score fairly good on this in AM marketplace.
How should I go about searching? How are you guys doing it, those who are currently in AM process?
would you believe them?
Everyone is insecure about something in them which they feel might lead to rejections. What's yours?
Mine is short height being 5'7'' and skin color being not fair. In my side of family, beauty standard is very clearly defined - fair is beautiful, dark is ugly, medium is meh. Mine is medium. Whenever my mother does any rishta related discussion with relatives, she tells them to warn the girls side about me not being fair. Although I have thick skin but this does get to me sometimes. Despite me doing a job and having built a career, I may face issue in getting married. My job and income is my advantage against my flaws. One of my deadbeat cousin's marriage is also discussed with relatives. He supposedly won't have issue in getting married because he is fair. His only issue is not having a job. Short height is also an insecurity of mine. Some women I talked with told me that they are attracted to tall men in general but looks don't matter to them for marriage and since they aren't able to find any such good profile in AM, hence giving me a chance as my profile is good apparently. Lucky me.
I am a guy originally from Bihar but currently working in NCR and searching for a girl for marriage in matrimonial apps. When I started looking I was hoping to find someone from Bihar origin only but after searching for quite sometime nothing has materialized. I do get requests from profiles of girls from other states mainly UP and Delhi but I don't take any of them forward. I also refrain from sending interests to profiles from other states. Primary reason is that the image of Biharis is not good among people of other states and Biharis are considered lower class. I have observed this numerous times. Now I don't want to be treated poorly by my own wife and in-laws. So just asking if I take forward any match from UP or Delhi, could there be issues? Has anyone faced problems by marrying people from other states?
Here is my situation. I am 32M, 5'7'', lookwise average, software developer, decent income, middle class family living in tier-1 city but migrated from tier-2, no past relationship. Family is simple and easy going but there are issues. Caste related issue is also there.
I have been looking on and off through matrimonial apps for more than a year. I was hoping to find someone within an year but things are not going the way I had hoped. It's not like I am not getting any matches and I have talked with some women as well but nothing materialized. I think things I desire like emotional connection, mutual attraction, shared values and someone compatible are not so easy to get in AM setup if you are not blessed lookwise and heightwise.
Coming to the point, how should I optimize my search for better and faster result? Ideally I would like the girl to be atleast 5'2'', lookwise decent, working with decent income, from middle class family and no past relationship. But it's not an ideal world. Problem is I get filtered out on height requirement of many of the girls. I usually miss by an inch. 5'8'' is the minimum requirement I have observed in most profiles. Then there's the attraction and desire angle. I wish that whichever girl finally marries me, does so out of her own will and genuine desire. I don't want the girl to marry me out of greed or desperation. This is something important to me. Now this makes searching complicated. In arrange marriage hardly anyone invests too much time so decisions have to be made quick.
What should I do? I have relied on matrimonial apps solely for more than one year and have been waiting for magic to happen. But time is running out for me. From next month I will probably have to start offline mode. The only issue I find with this is that I would hardly get to talk and know someone. Decision would most likely be made on superficial things from both sides. Any suggestions?
I am thinking of purchasing a 3bhk in Central Noida in sectors - 7x. At max I can go to 2 cr but that also is stretch. All apartments here are resale and approx 10 years old. Construction quality is average.
Reason for choosing Central Noida is connectivity, markets and decent amenities and population density. New apartments in Noida are either out of my budget or they are in far away sectors where population is scarce. I am looking for ready to move and immediate living.
Is this a good idea and is the price justified? Otherwise where else can I explore? Any suggestions.
Thanks.
I have been taking with a girl for one month now. I met her on matrimonial. She looks good overall. Some aspects of her looks are average but overall she is pretty. Now nobody is perfect and I am not looking for the prettiest girl but this is just a consideration. This girl has quirky and humorous personality which I really like. She always has something to talk about. She takes initiative, cares to remember what I tell her, doesn't disrespect me or my family, misses talking to me and complains if we don't on any day. I have also flirted with her a little bit. All these are good signs however there are certain issues as well. We haven't really talked about important stuff related to marriage. Whenever these topics arose we either talked about it jokingly or misunderstanding happened. Also there is mutual distrust between us. She doesn't fully believe everything I tell her nor do I believe all things she tells me. My reasoning is people lie a lot in arrange marriage and one must be extremely careful and vigilant. Both our families are not involved yet. Her family network is quite strong and they are getting rishtas and her family is insisting also but she hasn't proceeded with anyone yet because she is preparing for government exams and wants to work. Now I feel the onus is on me to take things to next level but I don't know if I am ready or if she herself is ready or not and just doing timepass with me. For me, I am not even sure if I can be ready by this year or next year. There are things professionally and personally which I had hoped to have achieved by now like buying a house but it's still in progress.
My relative network is not that strong but I have gotten few rishtas as well. One relative has brought a rishta recently and the girl's family are insisting on meeting. I don't know anything about this girl but the relative has said all good things about her. I was asked for my opinion and I stalled.
What should I do?
Would it bother you if the person you are going to marry is not attracted to you? By attraction I am referring to physical features like looks, skin color, height etc.
Talking with this girl I met on matrimonial for one month. She is very nice. The more I talk with her the more I like her. I have told my family about her. She hasn't told her family about me. She is waiting for go ahead from me to tell her parents. We haven't met. Meeting her means families meeting. Cannot meet her personally. Not allowed.
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The reasons I am holding are manifold. Firstly her family is much more stable and seem happier and more fulfilled than mine. There are issues in my family for which guys are usually rejected. Things like not having a house(planning to buy), family responsibilities, etc. I never actually believed any woman would want to marry me. She despite knowing all about my situation wants to, from what I feel when talking with her. Secondly I want to take my time to be sure that whatever she has told me about her is all true and there's no dishonesty. She doesn't fully trust me either. She told me this jokingly. I don't think she is lying about anything because whenever I talk with her she sounds so genuine. But I am always skeptical, so just want to be sure. Thirdly, I am afraid once things start to progress her family might reject me for variety of reasons like the ones I mentioned before or what if things don't work out for xyz reason. Kinda afraid of losing her.
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Ball is in my court but how to decide when it's time. Any suggestions please.
Talking with this girl. We share pics to each other. In some she looks pretty, in some very pretty, and in some okay okay. It's not like this is something unique to this girl. Most of the profiles I see on matrimonials, women look different in different photos. I get it that many people, both men and women, polish their photos. But I get confused with this variation in looks.
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I like this girl. She is very nice to talk with, great personality, family oriented but also career driven, polite and caring, and she sounds so simple and innocent. However, this variability in photos makes me get confused sometimes. How to deal with this?