My roommate is smoking in the apartment. They’ve been called on it before (by my other roommate, who has asthma). I’m chronically ill, and this is a real problem for me. When I brought it up this morning, this was their response. Other roommate and landlord are saying nothing, and offering no support or back up. I’m trying to move, but can’t afford it. Trying to survive with some agency in the meantime.
I see my (f, early 70s) client two times a week at her apartment gym. A couple times my client’s husband has dropped into the session to check in. The first time, he came across as somewhat brusque and bossy, he seemed to be checking in on me, asked me about her routine, etc. encouraging me to make sure to challenge her. I’m confident and competent in my work, and just I kept things straightforward.
The second time he dropped in, his attitude was more pronounced. He called my client lazy several times, and wanted to be sure that I was working her “hard enough”, he told her twice that if she didn’t work hard enough, she would not get dinner. I was taken aback, didn’t know what to say. He left, we continued the session.
I told the woman I work for what had happened, she was disapproving, but offered no insights or suggestions on what to do.
Then, a couple of weeks ago, I met her in the lobby, per usual. She told me that she would not be able to do the session, because she wasn’t wearing her contacts. I asked if she could put them on, did she have anyone to help her? Yes, her maid. We agreed that she’d go put them on (with the help of her maid), and I’d meet her at the gym, downstairs.
We ended up in the same elevator, going up. As soon as the door opened to her floor, we saw her husband. He immediately started yelling at her: what are you doing here!?!! Why are you not working out?!!, etc. When she answered him that she didn’t have her contacts in. He screamed that her glasses were on her head (weirdly, they were not).
All this was loud enough that people in their apartments would have heard it.
I said to him that we agreed to meet at the gym, and I’d headed down to wait for her. After waiting 15 minutes or so, the husband came down and cancelled the session.
I’m not sure what the best action is here. I’m not sure what my options are, or what’s appropriate. Any advice would be appreciated. Thank you.
Edited to update: Thank you everyone! I have called APS, and have a reference number. Will update with further details when available.
Some background. They moved in about three weeks ago. I only found out a few days before that my previous roommate was moving out, and a new one moving in. It was arranged by my landlord, and I didn’t have the option to meet or talk to the new roommate.
After they moved in, I sent a text to introduce myself, and tell them about the chore rotation. They take trash and recycling out on Tuesday and clean our shared bathroom every other Saturday. They were agreeable and seemed nice.
They missed the first Tuesday, so I sent a friendly reminder on the following Wednesday. They acknowledged it, but said they didn’t need/want reminders in future. I said ok, if it’s taken care of, I won’t send reminders.
They then missed their turn cleaning the bathroom. I asked our landlord to send a reminder. She did, and the bathroom was cleaned.
Again, my roommate has missed their turn cleaning the bathroom. They have also not responded to my request that they buy TP. They’ve purchased one roll since moving in. I’ve purchased a multi pack and several individual rolls.
This is one of many issues in the house, and I can’t afford to move now. But this is really bothering me. I don’t want to live in a messy dirty apartment, and I also don’t want to clean up after other people. Any advice?
Thank you!
Hi, I know this isn’t specifically an autistic issue, but I’m really trying to get out of fawning/ masking patterns, and this particular issue is really tricky within that framework.
I have clients with kids and grandkids, and often, unprompted and without encouragement, they’ll show me pictures. I have less than zero interest in seeing these photos. However, 1. I don’t know how to say no thank you, and 2. once they’ve shown me the photos, my genuine response would be “yep, that’s a child”, but that seems impossible given how much people adore their kids and grandkids.
Instead, I say “oh how cute, adorable, blah, blah, blah,”. This feels really gross to me, like I’m being forced to fawn, and it grates on me every time. If it were just once, I could deal, but in giving them positive reinforcement, they continue to show me photos in sessions. This has gone on for years in some cases 😣
Any advice would be greatly appreciated. Thank you!