u/CuriousRabbit103

I (20 F) am very concerned about my little brother's (16 M) behavior.

My brother has always been an abrasive person ever since we were little, but as he's gotten older, his behavior has gotten out of control. He frequently flies into uncontrollable rages but we can't always tell why. I hate to make assumptions about these rages since I have meltdowns too and sometimes, I have trouble discerning the reason for them. If my brother's rages are anything like mine, they are likely just as scary for him as they are for us, but that still doesn't excuse his behavior, which he has never once apologized for. I know he may not know why he's lashing out.

He refuses to do his schoolwork. He loses his mind when anyone tries to get him to do it and not in the regular "I don't wanna do my homework," way, but in the "I'm going to start punching holes in the walls if you make me," way.

He also is extremely entitled and self important. For example, I recently got a Nintendo Switch and I was told by my mother that I cannot bring it with me when I am with the family because if my brother sees that I have one, he will lose his mind faster than our dad lost his hair. Mind you, he already has a Nintendo Switch of his own and it's the same model as the one I got (Lite). He also doesn't use it. He just can't handle the fact that I have something nice. Honestly, I'd kind of like to play with him and our other siblings so I'm a bit disheartened that he'll get so angry.

The entitlement has gone back as far as I can remember. It wasn't anything too bad when he was little. Just regular toddler things, like crying on my birthday because he didn't get any presents. The issue was our father, who coddled him instead of teaching him that he has to share the spotlight sometimes.

I feel my brother needs help, but I don't know how to be of any help. I've tried to calm him when he flies into the afforementioned rages. I've tried giving him space. I try to be understanding, but not invasive since that might be just as overwhelming, but no dice. I try to remind him that it's not okay to say the things that he says, like slurs and making fun of people for things they can't control. Our mother has also done this. Nothing. My mother has put him in therapy and has mentioned putting him back into treatment, but she's hesitant since he wasn't cooperating the first time.

Is there literally anything I can do or should I cut my losses? I don't want to just give up on him. I would like to be helpful in any way I can. I also went through some shit as a kid and needed hospitalization due to it. Only my mother was there for me back then and I felt like everyone hated me, I don't want my brother to feel like that, even if he treats me poorly. He's a kid and I feel there's still hope for him.

Hey, I’d just like to preface this and apologize if my description of things is confusing or vague. I tend to talk I circles and just generally seem to confuse people. If you have any questions or just need more info, please ask! Also sorry in advance if I come across as rude. It’s not intentional. I’m not entirely sure why I come off that way. I do have some theories though.

So, my father is a complete narcissist. He’s an absolute nightmare and even though I cut contact with him multiple years ago, he’s still finding ways to make my life hell from afar. Like he liked to say my mother was an insane and abusive drug addict. He would then, in the same breath, tell me how I was just like my mother. That I was manipulative and selfish among other things. I was eight. He’s that kind of crazy. The courts and police where he lives somehow to be more useless than your average house fly, so he managed to get away with literal crimes with no consequences whatsoever.

I am completely disgusted by the fact that he’s my father. It makes me want to pluck my eyes out so I don’t have to see the physical traits I have that remind me of him, even though they’re smaller than my catalog of social skills. I’m also pretty freaked out by the possibility of turning out like him and hurting others.

Does anyone else deal with this and if so, how do you cope with it? I’ve tried a lot of meditation and self-love stuff and I’ve been doing it for years, but it’s just not helping me. Does anyone have any advice?

I (20 F) had a bunch of tests done when I was in middle school. They tested me for a whole bunch of developmental disabilities, but my mother refuse to let me see the results. I want to know if I was diagnosed with anything because I was treated by ACES ABA shortly after the tests. This agency only treats autistic children. I want to know why I was treated there.

I have asked my mother about this, but she won’t tell me anything. I asked for the test results as well. She won’t provide them. Her reasons for why she won’t let me see them keeps changing. For example, she once tried to lie to me by saying she didn’t have the test results at all, but later she changed her story and said she had the entire report but then wouldn’t tell me where it was.

I have no idea why she’s lying to me. I don’t know how to get her to show me the results and I’m starting to think I’m just overreacting. I have a tendency to overreact to stupid things so I really can’t trust my judgement on this.

Am I overreacting by being suspicious that my mother is lying to me? Like is this concern warranted or am I going insane? I’ve been trying to get ahold of these for a long time and she keeps refusing to show me and it’s really freaking me out.