u/CurrentlyStealthing

My husband (27) and I (26) were together for 5 years and married for only 7 months before separating. I’ve been out of the home for over a month now and at this point I don’t want reconciliation. I also don’t want his money, property, or anything else. My name is not on anything of his. I have my car, the support of my family, and nursing school. I just want to move on.

The night I left, I called the police because he had changed the locks to keep me from getting the rest of my belongings. I told them about the physical abuse and showed them bruises/cuts from when I tried to leave a couple days prior. I later saw on the police report that he was charged with domestic battery. I haven’t heard from him since.

What I don’t understand is why there seems to be no effort to move the divorce forward. We live in a state where a no-fault divorce requires a lengthy separation period, unless he would agree to an uncontested divorce for “general indignities”. It could be finalized in a month.

I recently sent him a message saying that if he was done with the marriage, we could move forward and avoid staying in limbo. He didn’t respond.

I’m just trying to understand why he would avoid this when it would save us time, legal fees, and stress. He has nothing to gain from me financially. It’s taken everything in me just to get here. I just want him out of my life, legally and emotionally.

Three weeks ago, I (26F) left my husband (27M) after ongoing emotional and physical abuse. About two months ago, he pinned me to the floor with his hands around my throat while screaming that he hated me. That was not the first time he had choked me. Several days before that, he grabbed the back of my neck, covered my mouth, and banged my head into the wall. I knew the relationship had to end.

The final incident started when he woke me up screaming at me to pack my things over a missing board game piece. While I was crying and trying to leave, he pushed and grabbed me around the house and again grabbed at my throat. I called my sister for help, and she came to get me and some of my belongings. As I left sobbing, he was upstairs whistling a happy tune. I wanted to fucking vomit.

The next day, I knew I had to keep my momentum so I withdrew half of our shared funds (before all of this I got an email saying he removed me from family sharing on Apple). I’m starting nursing school next week and had largely stopped working during the relationship because he pressured me to take on the house responsibilities instead. When I returned with my mother to get more clothes, he repeatedly called me demanding the money back. After dozens of manic calls to me and my family, we left because we were afraid of how he would react when he arrived home. He sent me several texts later that night of how much I owed him.

The following day, my mother, sister, and I returned for the rest of my belongings and found he had changed the locks and disconnected the garage door. My sister called the police because we were unsure how he would react. The officer informed me I could legally enter the home, and my husband arrived before forced entry became necessary. The officer stayed with me while I gathered my things.

Afterward, the officer noticed the massive bruise on my arm and a cut near my collarbone and urged me to have him arrested or to at least file a report. I initially declined, but I ultimately gave the officer my statement describing both the recent assault and prior choking incidents/controlling behavior. Later, I discovered he had been charged with third-degree domestic battery.

Since then, I have tried contacting the prosecutor’s office for updates but have not received a response. I want it documented that I am cooperative and do not wish to withdraw anything. He was charged but not arrested, and we have had no contact since. I have not sought a restraining order because I am currently safe staying with my mother. Should I expect to hear back from somebody soon about the outcome or of what’s going on? I’m struggling with the decision to file for divorce because of my already shaky financial/emotional state, and the fact that I’m relying on his insurance.

Three weeks ago, I (26F) left my husband (27M) after ongoing emotional and physical abuse. About two months ago, he pinned me to the floor with his hands around my throat while screaming that he hated me. That was not the first time he had choked me. Several days before that, he grabbed the back of my neck, covered my mouth, and banged my head into the wall. I knew the relationship had to end.

The final incident started when he woke me up screaming at me to pack my things over a missing board game piece. While I was crying and trying to leave, he pushed and grabbed me around the house and again grabbed at my throat. I called my sister for help, and she came to get me and some of my belongings. As I left sobbing, he was upstairs whistling a happy tune. I wanted to fucking vomit.

The next day, I knew I had to keep my momentum so I withdrew half of our shared funds (before all of this I got an email saying he removed me from family sharing on Apple). I’m starting nursing school next week and had largely stopped working during the relationship because he pressured me to take on the house responsibilities instead. When I returned with my mother to get more clothes, he repeatedly called me demanding the money back. After dozens of manic calls to me and my family, we left because we were afraid of how he would react when he arrived home. He sent me several texts later that night of how much I owed him.

The following day, my mother, sister, and I returned for the rest of my belongings and found he had changed the locks and disconnected the garage door. My sister called the police because we were unsure how he would react. The officer informed me I could legally enter the home, and my husband arrived before forced entry became necessary. The officer stayed with me while I gathered my things.

Afterward, the officer noticed the massive bruise on my arm and a cut near my collarbone and urged me to have him arrested or to at least file a report. I initially declined, but I ultimately filed a police report describing both the recent assault and prior choking incidents/controlling behavior. Later, I discovered he had been charged with third-degree domestic battery.

Since then, I have tried contacting the prosecutor’s office for updates but have not received a response. I want it documented that I am cooperative and do not wish to withdraw anything. He was charged but not arrested, and we have had no contact since. I have not sought a restraining order because I am currently safe staying with my mother. Should I expect to hear back from somebody soon about the outcome or of what’s going on? I’m struggling with the decision to file for divorce because of my already shaky financial/emotional state, and the fact that I’m relying on his insurance.