u/CuteLoss9948

Is it worth taking Netflix subscription?

I had arranged marriage. My wife had lied me about her past intimate relationships before and after marriage. After 2 months of marriage I found about it. The guy was still in contact with her, she told me that he is just a friend. From that day, I lost respect for her. For her this is not a big deal. She got intimated with him just 2 months before meeting him. Her current response is accept me as I am.

I got married through an arranged-marriage setup. I genuinely wanted a lifelong relationship based on love, honesty, trust and companionship.

Within a few months, I discovered that my wife had not been completely honest about her past relationship. There were deleted conversations, concealed interactions and other things I later discovered that made me feel there was a broader pattern of hiding and deception.

What hurt me most wasn't that she had a past. It was that I felt I had been given an incomplete/false picture before marriage. When I confronted her, instead of seeing genuine accountability, I felt she mostly denied, minimized or defended her actions.

I still decided to give the marriage a second chance because I genuinely wanted it to work.

However, even after that, there were continued issues around transparency, boundaries, communication, financial matters, personal decisions and involvement of her parents. I felt there was no consistent behavioural change or acknowledgement of what had damaged my trust.

Eventually the conflict became severe and I asked her to stay separately. Later, she experienced a serious health crisis. Her family believes the marital stress and my decision to send her away contributed to her condition, while I believe the separation happened because the marriage was already in serious crisis.

Now she wants the separation to end, but she does not acknowledge that she did anything substantially wrong. She believes my actions, including sending her away, were the main cause of the problems.

I have asked for a structured discussion involving both families or a neutral counsellor so that the actual issues can be discussed openly. She is not willing to participate in a family meeting.

I still love her and miss her, and part of me desperately wants the marriage and family I imagined. But another part of me believes that simply bringing her back without accountability, transparency and sustained behavioural change will only restart the same cycle.

TL;dr : Looking at the overall pattern rather than any single incident, what should I do? Is this marriage realistically salvageable, or would permanent separation be the more rational long-term decision?

I am IT professional, having in hand of 2.3 lakhs per month. Having home loan emi of 35k per month.

Home expenses goes till 20k.

Having savings upto 20 lakhs for emergencies such as job loss.

I am dreaming about nexon from long time. But couldn't think about buying since weak finance.

Shall I go for it ? it would cost me roughly 10 lakhs.

I am planning for EMI option, 15k per month.

As such I don't have much need of car, I commute with company's cab. But I always want to have it & drive. What should I do?