Raped or cheated?
A few years back my current gf took a trip to see her bff in a different city 2 hours away because she just moved there to attend college. *so did her younger sister, same college* Her bff lived with her then boyfriend in a somewhat private community with a local pool. This was one of the reasons she went according to her because “she loves swimming and misses it” so that she could knock out two birds with one stone- swimming and seeing her buddy from h/s. Cool. No prob. I was working a fulltime job and couldn’t get time off so I figured what the hell. “Let the girl have fun. It’s her bff. She’ll be safe” i told myself.
She hit me up later that day she arrived and told me that she would be drinking with her bff after a long day at the pool and that she’d rather stay the night to avoid a possible DUI. 🙄 “Ok, COOL.” I thought and wished her a goodnight yadayada.
At this point in our relationship we had been together for just about 2 years mind you. Met the fam the whole 9.
So when she gets back a few days later i noticed a mark near her neck thru her shirt and out of concern asked her about it. I asked to see it more clear so she removes her shirt and the mark actually looked like a bite mark. A couple of them. So I asked her and she didn’t admit to them being bite marks. She said something about the pool. 🙄
Not thinking much of it, i shrugged it off and went about my happy ass way.
A couple more years go by and slowly i am thinking about those “bite” marks and finally muster up the logic to ask her about it again.
During this 2 year investigation in my head i noticed how easy and somewhat often she lied. And to who. And about what. And picked up on other attributes that made me grow suspicious in the 1st place. 🤔
So when I finally did confront her about it she admits to them being bite marks and begins to explain that she was raped. Her story went something like:
“we drank WINE there was no way i could have blacked out like that. Her bf MUST HAVE DRUGGED ME. I dont know how i got those bite marks. We weren’t even together for that long when that happened so that’s why I didn’t tell you.”🙄 *its the same bff’s bf who told my gf that he wanted to fuck her mom. 🤔
So this is AFTER we had gone up to see her bff w/bf “who raped her”. Hung out with them not once, but TWICE. Drove 100 miles 1-way BOTH TIMES to hang out with these two.
NOT ONCE DURING THE 2x WE HUNG OUT DID SHE EVEN SEEM BOTHERED BY THEM. 🤔
While at a house party with them out there I remember there being a silence in the room all of the sudden and i look over and people were just awkwardly staring at me making me feel as if they knew something I didn’t. 🤔
Again, i brushed it off and went about the party.
So, now years later while confronting her about this she starts crying, swearing that she was raped, got her MOM involved by calling her on the phone to calm ME down in attempts to not break up with her. She was reluctant to give up their address and didn’t want to file a police report against him/them because “she had no evidence” and that it was so long ago at the time she felt it would go nowhere. 🤔
I was fucking furious. I didn’t know what to believe and wanted to snap the guy’s neck. Wanted to drive 100miles away to kill a guy. 🙄
After coming to my senses, having her mom there on the phone, i felt coerced into believing her.
So i did. Swept it under the rug. She was raped, i hung out with the guy, there’s nothing i cam do outside of going to prison, so thats that. 🙄
..We haven’t had much sexual contact in the past months leading up to now because she complains about being tired or having to shower after or whatever. She even almost had me fight a guy who was “stalking” her at work like 1/2 year ago. After dropping her off/picking her up turns out he’s a head barber at a salon next to her shop who kinda/sorta looked like me.🙄
2 days ago, while at walmart, we were in an aisle when a dude around same age as us (m39/ f34) passed by with a kid in a tote (You know, one of those rolling rectangular carts everyone’s pushing around these days) and I noticed her eyes latching onto him. Without her noticing i looked away and continued to shop as we were. We move over to another aisle that he just so happened to be in and again, eyes 👀. I said “alright lets go”, she looked at me with a stank face (common these days in public places, all smiles at home) and began heading towards the registers. She says “hang on”, goes into the aisle behind his and get on her tippy toes to HARD LOOK for him.
I said “what are you looking at? WHO are you looking at?? HIM??? She got so pissed and immediately started saying that i was tripping, that i am am paranoid like really loud. I told her “you want him? Go get him”
I made my way towards the exit and went to the car and waited. She took forever. 🙄
Now, i have already made the decision to move on. I called her out on the “rape” stuff also and told her that im not buying it. She tried telling me she loves me yadayada all day long, i basically stepped out and decided to uber it up.
Here’s some stuff i left out:
- i have been 100% loyal, turned down BADDIES for this girl 🤦🏽♂️
- her younger sister is also friends with my gf’s *then* bff. Still has her on her IG to this day and hung out frequently during the times all this was going on and after.
- my gf would openly and happily reminisce about her bff during the course of our relationship (“didnt she rape you tho?”)
- whenever instances of rape would come up in the wild i.e movies, shows, etc., she would say stuff like “the bitch is lying” or “yeah right she cheated”
- claims to have been raped in h/s ; thats how she lost her virginity 🙄
- she ruined just about every workplace relationship with female employees at every job ive had since being with her. Frequently accused me of cheating or talking to women behind her back.
- we have a dog together 🐶 (3yrs)
- her ex bff in question is now married to a transgender and is apparently in an open relationship with the ex bf🤔
🙄🙄🙄🙄🙄🙄🙄🙄🙄🙄🙄🙄🙄🙄🙄🙄🙄🙄
Reddit, tell me i ain’t crazy. I have thick skin and at this point, been kinda bracing myself for a revealing moment sad to say.
I’m ready to move on.
TLDR
Gf claims to have been raped by her BFF&BF (3some) by way of being drugged in her drink, but had me hang out with him on several occasions before finally “admitting” to being “raped” after confronting her on suspicion. Stayed with her because her mom insisted she was telling the truth.