u/DACouture1979

I'm going to go do it on my own.

I cook all the time, clean all the time, do all the laundry. Pay 80% of the mortgage, 50% of all utilities, all the groceries and house hold supplies and deal with her doom scrolling all day, complaining about being tied and her 16s attitude to boot.

Her response "if that's what you want to ahead". Well mortgage app goes in tomorrow, can't put an price on peace.

We used to have sex and a lot now it's lucky to be once every two weeks and honestly this has probably kept the relationship going on for longer than it should have.

I have to beg for 10 minutes alone with her, that's the point in even trying to keep this together now?

There's been other issues in our relationship lately and this just adds to it. He curses and screams at his video games, he smacks stuff around, it's ridiculous the way he reacts.

Then how Mom 46f gets in and he's all moopy and hangs all over her, he's such a weird kid with zero emotional maturity, really not sure how much longer I can deal with this.

Luckily we're not married and I know my partner is so overly extended financially she'll likely have to go bankrupt and still probably can't afford life still but I'm tired of secluding myself in the bedroom when I cover 80% of the mortgage and all the food and house hold supplies plus 50% of the utilities.

I think being alone would be a blessing at this point.

This is really just a vent and yes I've been passively home searching for a couple weeks now, I asked my 46F partner that I 46M have at least 10 minutes uninterrupted time together and it seems like even that is too much.

We haven't been out on a date together in a month a half and I've asked several times. We've been intimate but it just doesn't feel like it has in the past, the spark is just a dull flame.

If it's not work which I don't understand how or why she prioritize this job at 34k a year, it's her kids, if it isn't her kids it's her Aunt, Uncle, Brother, Mom, Friends, Etc. I always feel like I come last and it's frustrating. I've explained this to her several times and there's always a deflect. Heck last night she took a phone call from her Aunt about something that could have waited not even 10 minutes before getting home and sitting at the dinner table. She had already spoken with her for over a hour earlier in the day and the last two nights I've sat and listened to her dump her frustrations out at work 2 1/2 hours at a time each. I had a hard day at work and just wanted to talk about it but forget everyone else's comes first so I just got up and went to the bedroom.

We've entered into therapy, had our first solo session last week and are supposed to fill out what were looking for as a couple intake sheet, mentioned it a few times and again nothing.

Less and less I'm feeling like a partner and more and more an unpaid chef (cook most of the time as I'm home first), house keeper (again same thing) and wallet (I make between 130-150k a year, pay 80% Mortgage, 50/50 on utilities and I pay for 90% of the groceries and 100% of the household supplies).

I think I was just down at my lowest when we met as I had just been cheated on and told she wanted a Divorce 2 weeks before our 24th and 2 months before my youngest graduated high school.

Pretty sure I'm done, this is just journaling at this point.

We're not married but have been lived together since Oct 25 with me in the picture since Nov 24. Her oldest now 16 is super clingy and over emotional to the point at times I flat out say "your boyfriend needs you". I know it's rude but Jesus do I get some Norman Bates vibes off this kid. He hovers, mopes around and hangs all over his Mom. She's then so exhausted with his need for touch and validation I get crumbs and they're tasting less and less sweet. I'm actually starting to resent the kid and feel like I'm at my wits end.

We are going into counseling but I think the relationship is really at it's breaking point. I refuse to keep coming second over and over to her oldest. For context all my kids are adults with my youngest turning 20 tomorrow.

Anyone deal with this? It is so weird and unhealthy I feel, she just says "it's what works for us" but the problem is he never actually says what's bothering him and she doesn't push because his Father is so high conflict and aggressive which continues this behavior with him instead of putting her foot down.

I'm only a week and a half in. Started at 315lbs and dropped down to 240lbs on my own but plateaued. Presently sitting at 232lbs with a goal of 190lbs, for context I'm a 46, 5'11" male. My partner is a 46f who said last night she doesn't like me on this medication. I am confused because I'm literally doing this for my health. I'm thinking maybe it's because I'm becoming more confident and less tolerable about what I will and won't accept as a whole. Anyone else have experiences with your?

I 46m been with my finance 46f for over two years and we've lived together since last October. She has two sons, 16 and 12. I knew going into the relationship that her kids would always come first in many situations, and I've never expected to replace them or compete with them. My issue I don't feel like there's room for me as her partner.

For months, I've told her that I need to feel like a priority sometimes. Not all the time, just sometimes. I want intentional time together, affection, and to feel like our relationship matters too. Instead, I consistently feel like I'm fourth in line behind her job, her kids, her constant arguments with her ex over their custody agreement (still not finalized), he's high conflict and heck I know it's not much in Attorney money but I tossed $1k towards her fees cause mu partner is struggling with it to try and ease where I could.

One of the biggest issues is with her oldest son. He's almost 17 and is constantly hanging on her, sitting with her, leaning on her, and seeking her attention whenever he and she are home. I understand they're close, but I often feel like I'm competing with him for basic affection and quality time. If we're sitting together, he inserts himself. If I try to spend time with her, it often turns into family time instead of couple time. I've expressed how isolated that makes me feel, but nothing has really changed.

It's not just that, though. I work long hours and contribute heavily around the house. I help pay for 80% of the mortgage, split utilities 50/50,, buy all groceries and house hold supplies, cook, and take care of household responsibilities.80% of the time as I get off work first. Recently, after working a 14-hour day in 95-degree heat, it became an argument just to get her to meet me to drop off my car at the dealership so I didn't have to spend 60 bucks twice on a Lyft (there and back when the car was down) Yet she had no problem booking another AirBnB for the second time this summer and the third vacation for her and forth for the boys, they were on a week long vacation with their BD before we all did a week together just the previous two weeks. She says she has to check her account when I simply asked twice now for $100 every two weeks for groceries or household things, but somehow there's time and money for more trips.

This isn't about one incident. It's about feeling like I've communicated the same needs over and over without seeing meaningful change. I feel more like someone who basically supports the household than someone who's actually valued as her partner.

For those of you who are stepparents or parents in blended families:

Am I expecting too much by wanting to feel like my relationship is prioritized sometimes? Have any of you felt like you were competing with a teenager for your partner's attention? At what point do you decide that the relationship simply isn't meeting your emotional needs?

I'm feeling incredibly guilty for wanting to leave because I know at least in the short term her and the boys will suffer. Her ex hasn't paid child support since October last year, coincidentally when I moved in with her and it's a measly $300 a month, she's already over extended financially as she only makes gross $34k a year. In contrast all my children are grown adults and depending on how my side small business does along with my full time I make between 120-150k a year, more on the former this year in this economy.

We haven't been intimate in over a month and her response was that's not that long knowing I came from a 24 year long with 16 years being basically sexless marriage and this is very important to me, pretty sure I'm done and this is more of just a vent.

Now my new partner and I haven't been intimate in over a month and I get the 'it's not that long" talk but you know 1 month turns into 3, 6, a year and so on and so forth. She was amazing for quite sometime, going on over 2 years together now.

I'm 46 and so is she but I want it more and voiced my concerns with her, out right telling her I feel less like a priority anymore.

Beside giving up on the relationship any advice? I mentioned couples counseling but I don't have enough years left on this planet to again find myself in another dead bedroom.

We don't and will never have kids together (I'm snipped) so that will never be a factor that keeps us together too like the last.

Lost 70lb naturally but stuck at 240lb to 245lb at 5'11". My goal is 190lb at 46 m I'm hoping to get there. Best about it the VA covers all the costs.

This city sure can take a horrible executed plan and make it worse. Church St is a parking lot.

Over the past several months, my relationship with my children has deteriorated significantly. Since Son (23) and Daughter (20) moved in with their mother, communication has become increasingly strained, culminating in none of my children wishing me a Happy Father's Day despite years of sacrifice and support. Daughter later sent me a message accusing me of caring more about other children than my own. From my perspective, much of this has been fueled by my ex-wife, and I feel as though I've become the villain in their eyes, regardless of everything I've done for them.

Son's original plan was to continue on to graduate school and ultimately dental school. I fully supported that dream, even paying nearly $2,000 for a DAT preparation course and continuing to make his $550 monthly car payment so he could focus on school. During his final year of undergrad, he decided to take a gap year, and I supported that decision as well, hoping he would return to continue his education. Instead, he recently decided not to go back and accepted a full-time position, taking home roughly $3,100 per month. At that point, the understanding we had changed. My agreement to continue paying for his car was based on him remaining in school, not after he became a full-time employee.

Financially, I've continued supporting my children far beyond what most parents are expected to. Their mother and I had originally planned to buy Son a car with cash. Instead, she financed a vehicle in her own name. After she had an affair and took off leaving me holding the bag on everything and my children two months before my youngest.graduated high school , I was left making payments on both vehicles (mine and the one my Son was driving which originally was the ex-wifes). We had agreed to split the payment on the car my Son drove, but she never contributed her share, leaving me to pay more than $15,000 toward that vehicle myself. I also continue to carry my children on my health and dental insurance at a cost of nearly $600 every month. Despite those sacrifices, they are rarely acknowledged, and it often feels like the focus is solely on my shortcomings.

Daughter''s path has also been difficult. After our separation, she eventually moved in with her mother during the fall of 2024 after struggling through her first year of college. Since then, she has not returned to school or entered the workforce. Despite that, when Father's Day came around, I didn't receive so much as a phone call or text from any of my children. Instead, I later received a message from Daughter telling me to "be a better father."

When I finally told Son it was time for him to either assume responsibility for the vehicle or return it, his response was simply that I could have the car back and that it was "not my problem." Between that response, Katie's accusations, and the continued lack of appreciation for the years of financial, emotional, and personal support I've provided, I've reached the conclusion that it's time to establish firm boundaries. I will always love my children and hope our relationship can someday be repaired, but I can no longer continue sacrificing financially while being treated as though my support was something they were entitled to rather than a gift given out of love.

I'm so kicking myself in the foot because my ex is financially illiterate, I knew she'd never pay the car payment as agreed on and instead of sinking money into an Attorney I paid off around 30k in debt and taxes owed from her Home Sales. She would just gaslight me and tell me to "be a Dad" whenever it came to financial matters, I'm so angry that someone can be so evil and manipulative.