u/DaMottMann

My Fellow Freebies, in these divisive times, it's important to remember the things that bring us all together: silly puns, free movies, and of course, fingering stories.

So, in the spirit of unity (and partially the spirit of puns), let's all come together and compile a list of the best of the best movie themes for each month!

Note: July is already spoken for and I don't think anyone can beat Ju-Library anyway. Nice work Emily!

Here's a short starter list:
* Six-shootin September (all westerns)

* Octane October (Racing/Robots/EXPLOSIONS!)

* The Last of August-Us (Zombie/monster movies)

In the recent past, Jordan Morris wrote a series of comics featuring the universe's Tallest Guy and most explosive killer of killers; The Predator!

This series follows some of Earth's most fierce and quippy combatants as they try to survive this savage alien along with the most devious killer yet, late stage capitalism...

Welcome to the next edition of Predator With Ads by me, Da Mott Mann! For those of you who are interested, please feel free to learn a little more about me here.

See Volume 3 here!

The Tallest of Guys

Space Wolverine vs Techno Viking: Battle for the Mesh Shirt

They're still fighting?! Yep! If only you knew all the details and fun character building (you can and you know how!)

Up next, my recurring pick for...

The Worst Hat!

I direct quote from Jeff Bezos

I never realized how much the Predator hated Daft Punk. And they worked so Hard(er) to get where they are! Am I joking?! Buy yourself a copy and find out.

One of my personal favorites for the whole series, the long awaited demise of my least favorite character, the

Oldest Teen

No joke here. Fuck that guy.

Some things are worth the wait: meeting the right person, getting that last ticket to your favorite concert, finding a used car in your price range (still shopping btw. It's like the economy is really shitty or something).

In a rare double sting, an amazing display of both

Fake Film Tech and Fingering Story!

A real... Shocker?!! :-D

And like the best hidden menu item at In-n-Out, here's dual pick making up the Double Double for

It's Hunk Watch and Who We'd Play!

She's like Emily, to no one's surprise. The ripped dude is Jordan.

See?

Thank you so much Jordan for another stellar edition. Looking forward to the next one!

Dear Toyota Fan Club,

I know, they're the best (wait your turn Subi-dudes), but they're also hard to find! And, when I do find one that has a clean record, everyone seems to want thousands more than what they're worth. Sorry, KBB says what it says.

What gives? Do I need to slip cash under a door somewhere, use a secret knock, and know a password?? Surely $15K is enough to get me behind the wheel of something in Northern Colorado right? ....Right?

Dear Subaru Crew,

Thank you for your patience.

Before you throw all your recent press my way, yes, I've heard, you fixed all those pesky head gasket problems (that shouldn't have been problems in the first place). And yes, I've seen the videos and articles about how, pound for pound, dollar for dollar, a Subi is the best AWD, 4 cylinder, mountain dominating, yet high mpg gas sippin' machine around.

That said, after dumping about as much as it cost into our 2008 Outback, I'm hesitant to try another money pit fine car from your company.

Consider the gauntlet thrown

I'm looking for something that's so damn reliable that I'm forced to come back and apologize for ever doubting you.

Here's what I've got:

- $15K in the bank. I have enough debt already, no financing

- A 2008 Outback with 212,000 miles that have been rewarding, but expensive. Pederson Toyota (shots fired) offered me $1K for it, which should help

Here's what I need:

- 2017 or newer. Not asking for the moon, just a car that's not already 10 years old

- Clean title. Frame damage is risky and expensive

- Less than 100,000 miles. I have a long commute so they're going to add up fast as it is

Which one is the best option? Also, would you be interested in the above Outback?

In the recent past, Jordan Morris wrote a series of comics featuring the universe's Tallest Guy and most explosive killer of killers; The Predator!

This series follows some of Earth's most fierce and quippy combatants as they try to survive this savage alien along with the most devious killer yet, late stage capitalism...

Welcome to the next edition of Predator With Ads by me, Da Mott Mann! For those of you who are interested, please feel free to learn a little more about me here.

See Volume 3 here!

The Tallest of Guys

Space Wolverine meets Techno Viking! Winner gets the coveted mesh shirt.

They're still fighting?! Yep! If only you knew all the details and fun character building (you can and you know how!)

Up next, my recurring pick for...

The Worst Hat!

I direct quote from Jeff Bezos

I never realized how much the Predator hated Daft Punk. And they worked so Hard(er) to get where they are! Am I joking?! Buy yourself a copy and find out.

One of my personal favorites for the whole series, the long awaited demise of my least favorite character, the

Oldest Teen

No joke here. Fuck that guy.

Some things are worth the wait: meeting the right person, getting that last ticket to your favorite concert, finding a used car in your price range (still shopping btw. It's like the economy is really shitty or something).

In a rare double sting, an amazing display of both

Fake Film Tech and Fingering Story!

A real... Shocker?!! :-D

And like the best hidden menu item at In-n-Out, here's dual pick making up the Double Double for

It's Hunk Watch and Who We'd Play!

She's like Emily, to no one's surprise. The ripped dude is Jordan.

See?

Thank you so much Jordan for another stellar edition. Looking forward to the next one!

Predator Bloodshed Vol 4 With Ads Coming Soon...

Get to tha chappa

I was so honored to be mentioned on last week's episode.... almost.

Everyone loves being corrected, and everyone loves having jokes explained to them. I hope to do both by expressing my loud gratitude and whispered sweet nothing's to the Internet's Best Jordan. 

TL:DR:

My screen name is DA-Mott-Mann, which is a reference to The Boogie Monster, a podcast hosted by Chicago native Kyle Kinane and his friend Dave Stone. 

A recurring topic were sightings of the Chicago Mothman and, in the spirit the SNL sketch "Super Fans," featuring 'Da Bulls' and 'Da Bears' Da Mott Mann was born.

\"Ope sorry about dat! Just grabbin' a chee-burger after flyin' in da air!\"

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

How does any of that relate to Jordan?

For the full, unnecessary history of DaMottMann Begins, let me take you back to the origins of my absurd adventures with Jordan Morris.

Picture it: Colorado, the mid 2000s

There I was, driving to school, listening to one of my favorite podcasts "The Sound of Young America" featuring the buttery smooth voice of Jesse Thorn and his hilarious cohost, Jordan Morris. 

Their playful banter and silly inside jokes were a breathe of fresh air in my usual rotation of podcasts like This American Life, Savage Love, and....Fresh Air.

Flash forward to the 2010s

I started dating the girl from Chicago who would end up becoming my wife. (Fun fact: she still is!) We moved in together and couldn't afford streaming services, but we loved watching this Internet show called Good Mythical Morning starting all the way back when they still sang the "Thursday Means Mail" song!

They added new cast members, like Emily, Matt, and Cotton Candy Randy, played by Jordan. They soon became my favorite cast members and something about Jordan was very familiar...

Then came the 2020s...

I don't need to rehash the dumpster fire that changed the whole world and threw out the rulebook of who can and can't become the leader of the free world. But I can make a soon-be-outdated meme about it:

Remember when conspiracy theories *weren't* taken seriously? Anyone?

After the Boogie Monster took an indefinite hiatus, I didn't have a show that I could get into. Sometimes, when one thing goes away, another takes its place, and along came Free With Ads! 

Around the same time, I saw an episode of GMM featuring both Jordan and Emily where they talked about their experiences with the atrocious yet dumbfoundingly popular regional drink, Malort, and I began connecting some dots in my head...

Where have I heard him before? Jordan?! From Jordan, Jesse, Go?

Holy shit! Yes! It's the same guy!

Suddenly I realized why I had already been aquatinted with Jordan's style of comedy. It felt like reconnecting with an old friend.

The rest is history!

Here we are, making Reddit a better place, trying to create joy in a world that could really use it. The Boogie Monster is why I joined Reddit, but Free With Ads is why I stayed (that, and the sub 'what car should I buy' is surprisingly judgy).

At the center of it all, for me anyway, is Jordan.

Thank you for all the laughs and for showing us how to Be Your Mythical Best!

Welcome back to the next edition of Predator With Ads!

For anyone who hasn't bought the newest edition (I assume none of you), here are some teases, highlights, and needless commentary that will hopefully convince you to give it a read.

First off, an easy pick for Tall-est Guy!

I prefaced the commentary right?

Up next a callback to my first PSB post with The Worst Hat:

At Goons-R-Us, we pride ourselves on making your minions extra punch-able with satisfying cracking, crunching, and shatter-prone helmets, hats, visors, and anything else your expendable henchman might need! Use code RedShirt for 10% off today!!

Next up, an easy pick for Hunk Watch!

Yes, she *is* a stand-in for Emily! I like to think she's an inspiration for all of us that we can get better with age

To prove my point, I'll go ahead and add Who We'd Play next:

I rest my fabulously dressed case.

Speaking of perfect segues, here's my pick for Fingering Story!

You want to see the ending? You know what ya gotta do...

Finally, my favorite but under-used sting, Fake Film Tech!!

Truly a sign of an advanced civilization is being able to get a flattering picture of someone on the first try. How do they do it?!?!

Thanks for reading fellow Freebies! Grab yourself a copy now and stay tuned for the next edition.

Thank you Jordon for another fun edition of Predator Bloodshed on top of the great work you, Emily, and Matt make every episode!

Maybe Demolition Man was onto something

Really??