u/Daisiesinsun

So I’ve been noticing symptoms for like the past six months like right before my bleeding starts. I feel miserable and I seriously consider a world without myself like I feel worthless and hopeless and worn out and that nothing’s going to get better and I wanna cry all the time for no apparent reason and I’m moody and and I become a nasty human being, which makes me feel even worse about myself and I have no motivation to do anything whatsoever and then when my bleeding starts it kind of mellows out and then when it ends, I’m right back at square one until the next time I start bleeding I’m to the point now when I start bleeding, I get relieved although I have terrible cramps, crippling anemia, and and I get nauseous every time I see my own blood.

I couldn’t figure out what was wrong with me until I saw a video of the actress lili Reinhardt (if that’s how you spell her name I don’t know) talking about it and I did some more research and I’m like checking every box but I don’t know what to do from here.

It’s just so unusual because other than the fact that I am anemic I’ve always seen myself as a relatively happy and healthy person until recently and it’s quite rattling and very disarming because people are coming to me and they’re noticing differences and I love that they’re comfortable enough to approach me with that but it’s heavy.

Like do I go see a therapist do I go see a doctor and get a referral or what do i do?

I have been doing this my whole life pretty much and it has been worse I’d be like 5+ hours doing it but recently I’ve gotten better like 1-2 hours max and I don’t do it very often. I’m a Christian and idk if it’s a sin the material of my daydreams are not inappropriate but if idk whether or not it is a sin then I don’t want to do it but I spend most of my day bored, I don’t have a car so I can’t go out my family spends most if not all of their day on a screen, and they don’t pay much attention so if I’m not running around with my sister, then I’m just stuck in my house with nothing to do or anyone to talk to. Finding it difficult to quit cold turkey but I don’t know what else to do so how did y’all quit? I mean, I’m getting a lot better I would just like to be better.

When she said “justice for star crossed” absolutely I I would’ve stood and actually applauded if it wasn’t midnight. And then she said if an artist makes a record that I don’t really love I’ll just catch ‘em on the next one literally, I love that that’s exactly how I am I feel seen.

I’m watching Kacey on Jake Shane’s podcast and they were talking about aliens and some of the points. I’m like I need her to have her own podcast in which she talks conspiracy theories and stuff because it is so interesting to hear her talking about it.