Yet another "wide toe box but not barefoot" question, with a side of messed up foot anatomy
Apologies if this isn't completely suited, but regular shoe communities seem to be absolutely lost with my question and have no idea what an anatomical toe box even is and keep suggesting me Doc Martens, which I couldn't stuff my foot in even if I tried real hard. I'm wondering if y'all may have some better ideas from stuff you tried as transition shoes.
Basically, I grew up going barefoot everywhere and hated shoes (autistic), but when I hit puberty, I started getting pain in my foot, and long story short, one of my sesimoid bones did not grow properly (it is the size of a toddler's) and the tendon is prone to destabilization. Ever since, I've needed quite significantly padded shoes with stiffer soles to not be in pain.
I also have a very wide toe splay, which is where the main issue lies. I spent most of high school wearing too big size 7-7.5 shoes sized up for width, but started getting pain in them around college. I got professionally measured at several different reputable shoe stores with a Brannock device and am around a women's 6EE, and have narrow heels in proportion. Low to mid volume foot, very skinny ankles. I often end up unable to tie shoes snug enough at the top to fit my ankle.
I have tried several barefoot shoes on in person, and the lack of cushion and rigidity is a nonstarter. I just can't do the flexible soles, it's instant pain. We tried adding cushiony inserts to several barefoot options, and it was still painful. I also tend to do better with shoes with a bit of drop in them, for whatever reason, but that's not a dealbreaker as insoles exist. "Rocker" shoes have been the best for me as they take the most weight off the affected area while walking.
I've taken a look through many past "wide toe box but not barefoot" posts and blogs across the internet, but haven't found an option that a) comes in my size b) has the right kind of sole for me and c) is easily accessible in the US. I cannot afford the risk of tariffs or needing to pay return shipping myself when I know I will likely need to try a significant amount of options to find something that has the right structure for my foot (I cannot tell you how many shoes I've returned for this reason).
For a bit more detail on what's worked for me (ish):
I've been living in $2 Old Navy children's flip flops that are cut extremely wide around the foot that I replace every few months as the padding wears down and becomes flexible, because they're padded enough and don't restrict my toes. But I live in New England and it's not an appropriate option for every venue or season.
When that's not possible, I've been wearing Vionics Walks in 6.5 wide, and these are the closest I've ever gotten, but are still a bit too narrow in the toes for me, and are starting to get annoying/I can see my outer toes starting to curve inward.
I can tolerate my size 36 wide width Birkenstock Arizonas when I need something that's not a sneaker, but they do still press my toes inwards on both sides a bit and I can't wear them for longer than like 2 hours without pain (I have the soft footbed version). They're also a bit too narrow through the midfoot. I thought the stiff sole would be enough, but the lack of cushion has proved painful.
Hopefully there's something out there for me, but please let me know if there's not -- I'd love to know if it's a pipe dream and I need to just start saving for something custom.