u/Danie99

I had my babyshower today, and every time I see my mum she just creeps me out more and more and I dread what she's going to be like as a grandma.

She started the babyshower by giving a big speech about how we're all there because we all love the baby and want to give it a big welcome, then said and for me since the baby's still in me... Like I wouldn't have been at my own baby shower if I wasn't pregnant, it was purely for the baby.

She's also a perpetual over buyer which always sounds ungrateful if you haven't experienced an over buyer before. The only thing I asked of her was that she not buy anything for the baby from Temu because I don't trust it as a supplier and if she did I said we wouldn't be using it. We were bought a plethora of things from Temu. She'd taken everything out of its packaging to try hide it but it was really obvious, and I just feel like why did you get us anything if you ignored the one thing we asked.

She also bought things that we won't need for years that I also felt like she was doing to try 'steal' firsts. (She's already been talking about buying the baby's first shoes and teaching it how to ride a bike). She bought a my baby teeth jar, and I just thought it doesn't even have teeth yet, they won't be falling out for another 5 years why have you gotten us this.

I just feel like I'm no longer her daughter I'm her vessel to being given another baby.

I’m 29 weeks pregnant and I’ve suddenly got this overwhelming dread at the anticipation of being postpartum, mostly around visitors, and in that mostly around mine and my partners parents. Who I know are going to want to be super involved.

When my mum visits currently, she’s already super invasive she finds an excuse to go into mine and my husbands bedroom every time she visits and I find it really creepy (I plan to lock our door the next time she comes round and if she asks why I think the fact she’s noticed our bedroom door is locked is reason enough for it to NEED to be locked). She riles my dog up every time she visits, she has absolutely no boundaries with him, she lets him lick her all over including her face, he genuinely gets so excited to see her that he pees with excitement every time she greets him (which he doesn’t do for ANYONE else, nor does he ever pee in the house) because of this I always make them greet outside, but the last time she came over she was ‘just dropping something off’ so I put the dog in another room not thinking she’d come in because she wasn’t invited in, she just made her way in uninvited, greeted him in my living room before I got the chance to move him, and acted surprised he peed on the carpet.

She then again, uninvited took my stepdad on a tour of the house we’re having renovated while I just stood pissed off that they we’re just wandering around my home when I wasn’t expecting guests. I didn’t say anything because they’re excuse for coming over was to drop off a tool I wanted to borrow for decorating the baby’s nursery (that I said I’d collect when I needed it) so I felt like I couldn’t tell them off without being ungrateful. Really, I should have known better that they were just using it as an excuse to get into my house.

I know my mum is going to be desperate to visit as soon as I have the baby and will absolutely overstay her welcome and not get hints to go. She’ll want to watch me breastfeed because she’s ‘seen it all before’ and will want to offer unsolicited advice or take pictures for facebook as she loves posting pictures of me (and I’m guessing my baby) that I wouldn’t want online. She’ll bring my stoner lay about older brother who consistently stinks of stale weed and BO and will NEED him to get to hold the baby, I’m dreading the baby coming back from him stinking. I know my brother wouldn’t make the effort to come see the baby without my mum bringing him because so far in the 7 months into my pregnancy, he’s not acknowledged it at all, I may as well not be pregnant to him, he’s not so much as said congrats. When I brought it up to my mum that it was a little hurtful that he’s not acknowledged it (I was 14 weeks at this point) she said it’s a big change for him and it’s probably not ‘hit him yet’, like damn his life isn’t changing at all because of this baby but he can’t say congratulations to his sister because it’s too much for him…

Barring in mind I expect all this to be happening while the dog is hyped AF.

My MIL and FIL stress me out a little less, I don’t think they’ll be as obsessed with the baby as my mum is and they are much less overbearing. However, they’re also much older than my parents, and I think if anyone’s going to kiss the baby when they’ve been told not to, it’s my MIL. She’s also quite needy when it comes to my husband and I think she’ll see his paternity leave as him being constantly available for things that need doing in her house or helping with my FIL who’s in the early stages of Parkinson’s and can be forgetful. She also, no matter how many times she gets told will walk into our house unannounced using her own key to unlock the door. She’s done this whilst my husband and I were still in bed on one occasion but still doesn’t see it as an issue. I know postpartum I’m going to pretty consistently have my boobs out at home, and I don’t want to have to always cover up because I don’t know when my MIL is going to storm in.

I know I need to have a conversation about these boundaries with my husband so he can speak up for me when I feel vulnerable, I just wanted to have this rant to get all my thoughts together, as when I’ve raised things with him, he often says, we’ll just see how it is at the time, like that isn’t the most anxiety inducing suggestion ever. I know he’ll speak up for me and he’s very comfortable telling both mums off, but I don’t want to have to sit and hint to him that I’m struggling if he’s oblivious.

Any advice / tips, or telling me I’m overreacting and need to chill, would be greatly appreciated

I went to the hospital the other day for reduced movements and from the extra scan was referred to fetal medicine due to baby's femur measuring less than 1st percentile. They were really reassuring that they weren't concerned as the baby was in a difficult position to measure there's good blood flow going through the cord and all the other measurements were fine. They were just referring me to be cautious. I'm also 5' nothing with short legs so it's more than likely genetic.

After our ultrasound a midwife from the day clinic across the hospital explained all this to us and throughout kept calling the baby she/her. The ultrasound tech didn't specify the sex and knew we didn't want to know, so we don't know how this midwife could have known it's a girl as she wasn't there for the ultrasound and from what I've heard the NHS don't record the sex of the baby anywhere as it's not useful information medically (though I could be wrong), and it could be that this midwife just calls all baby's she/her?

Has anyone else had the sex spoilt or thought they had it spoilt and it ended up being the opposite?

So I'm 21 weeks pregnant, and my husband's upset that I ate most of the oreos we had in. He's had 5 I had the rest (I googled there's 15 in a pack) so I guess I had 10.

He's upset that I've not fairly shared the food, especially because the other week I cried over the idea of having to share actimel yogurts (we've literally never had actimels in the house before me becoming pregnant so it's not like he loves them, he's never bought them before and I only got them because I'm pregnant and really wanted them)

So he's said I cried over him drinking yogurts but now it's me eating all the food all he got was a sorry, I can't exactly regurgitate the Oreos so I'm not sure what he wants I've said sorry.

I'm also having a generally pretty horrendous day because my hayfevers really bad but I can't take my beloved fexofenodine while pregnant, he's said it looks like I'm having a terrible time and I'm thinking well yeah and I'm suffering to grow our child so maybe let me have a few extra Oreos for all the trouble I'm going through.

The reason I'm asking if I'm the AH is in fairness I did eat more than half the Oreos and we're having house renovations at the moment and he is doing so much around the house that I can't help with, so it's not like he's not doing loads.

Update: turns out it wasn't my hayfever that was causing me issues I realised last night that I actually have a terrible cold. My husband's been really worried and sweet, he's found an industrial fan and put it at the end of the bed for me because I felt warm, he's also just brought me tea in bed. So all is well and he's stopped being a baby, I on the other hand have been crying because of how ill I feel.