u/Darkdudehaha

I know that ultimately only I have the answer to that, for me, but I would still like to hear your opinions.

I haven't played the game in a while, I don't remember how much exactly. Maybe at least 6 months? I used to play with some friends, none of us were particularly good at it. I myself struggled somewhat with aiming. I had some games where I randomly popped off for whatever reason (I still remember this one game where I played Ash and channeled the spirits of all the sweats, was hitting shots properly and was carrying my friends *insert Family Guy "Peter how are you doing that" meme*), but otherwise would lose a lot.

I had someone from this reddit coach me a little about movement (thank you again) but I think I quit the game shortly after that because it was getting exhausting. To me it's always seemed like a sweaty game that I would have to put too much effort into to get better. I'm more on the casual side.

These last few days I kept randomly getting the urge to play Apex again, but I don't know if I should. I googled to see what state it's in right now, and from what I read TTK is even lower now, and good movement has basically become the norm. I hated the TTK before, so I doubt I would enjoy it now if it's even lower, as for movement I was never too good at it. Maybe a small boost after someone explained some tricks to me, but otherwise it was still rough.

So, would I have any chance of enjoying the game even a little bit, or would I just end up getting annoyed and uninstalling it again after a few games? Despite the few annoying (for me at least) changes, I saw people saying that the game is in a better spot. How is that precisely, and would those strong points be a good tradeoff?

I am writing this post in hopes of gaining some insight or advice from you guys. It's quite lengthy so I apologize in advance.

I (22) met my boyfriend (25) at the start of last year. We hit it off, and after a few months we got officially together. He was honest to me about being autistic (undiagnosed). I'll admit it felt daunting to me, but seeing how sweet he was, I decided to try regardless. I always told myself I would never judge or reject someone for something they cannot control.

Fast forward now, we've been together for a little over a year. We have a distance relationship unfortunately (though there's only a 1 hour drive between us, but we don't get chances to meet all that often). We've met whenever we could, usually once every few months where either he visits me for the day, or I spend a weekend at his house (as much as I wish to, I cannot host him because of my parents being kinda shitty - his don't know about us but are very nice people that have always welcomed me into their home).

I am a person that's very into physical touch, perhaps to the extreme. Due to my past traumas, I end up being way too clingy sometimes, and feel rejected if my partner isn't feeling up to it.

My partner, being autistic, is on the other end of the spectrum. He may have some moments where he's feeling more open to touching, but otherwise can't really stand it, at least for more than a few seconds at a time from what he's told me.

In spite of this, I told myself I could work through this. But my troubles keep getting the better of me. We had our very first fight on New Year's 2026, when I was basically seeking to gain a little too much affection from him. I did not know at the time that he struggles with PDA (when among safe friends that are okay with us - i wouldn't have tried anything if we were among strangers). It made me feel like he was ignoring me, which bottled up and led to me snapping at him the morning after when he chose to watch TikToks in the corner of the room and sent one to me. I told him angrily that if he wanted to show me a tiktok, he could come over and show it to me since we were in the same room, not miles apart. I felt awful about it afterwards, but we moved on for the time being. We talked after we got home and had our fight, (he has recently admitted he was thinking of ending the relationship when that fight happened, because he thinks that ultimately I will end up feeling left out or ignored by him, and that it makes him feel very guilty because he simply cannot do more for me - he did get over it because we were able to communicate, reassure each other and agreed to always communicate clearly to each other what's on our mind).

Our one year anniversary afterwards went great. I visited him again and we both felt really good. No complaints from either of us. The activities we did, and all of it felt like it brought us even closer.

This weekend, I visited him again, but I ended up being more clingy again. While we did feel good and had fun during these days doing different activities (such as going the movies, watching things at home etc), once I got home we got into another talk, that started when I told him that it felt a little like he started out with more energy on the first day (when he approached me/initiated physical contact multiple times) and that it kinda subsided over the other days. He told me that he still thinks I will end up feeling left out/ignored especially if we ever end up moving in together. I said that right now I personally think this is also being caused by us getting to meet so rarely, and that I am sure I would fare better if we were to live together because I'd be in his company all the time, as opposed to knowing I'm leaving and trying to make the most of it.

The talk wasn't a fight or intense like the new year's one, rather just a discussion that we once again cleared up relatively quickly by communicating. And I told him that as long as he genuinely likes me, I am happy, in spite of my struggles with affection, and that I'm working on managing my feelings.

I cannot guarantee myself that he isn't right - that I won't end up feeling that way again. When I get into a bad headspace, I find myself struggling to get out of it. Every small thing starts feeling like a whole rejection or attack in my head, which hurts even if I keep telling myself that I am exaggerrating at the moment.

My clinginess doesn't even have to do with sex. I'm fine with having sex more rarely, just as he is. It's the affectionate side that I seek so much.

I am going to therapy and trying to work through my struggles. And he knows that. I have no reason to feel this way, when he's shown me time and time again that he does love me, in his own way. He wouldn't have wasted over a year with me if he didn't.

Yeah, I guess being more physical touch oriented is one of my needs, but I know that my clinginess and feeling rejected is irrational and nothing more than trauma responses. This is my first relationship. I know some people aren't meant to be. But I genuinely like him, if not love him. I love how passionate he is about his hobbies, his spirituality, his wits, just a lot of things that make me really like him. I don't want to throw away our relationship over something like this. I don't think I'd find someone as honest as him again.

I'm convinced I can make it work. I know I have to work on myself. But besides dealing with my traumas, how can I work on better understanding him and his point of view? Is anyone else here in a relationship with neurodivergent folks?

I am writing this post in hopes of gaining some insight or advice from you guys. It's quite lengthy so I apologize in advance.

I (22M) met my boyfriend (25M) a day before last year started. We hit it off, and after a few months we got officially together. He was honest to me about being autistic (undiagnosed). I'll admit it felt daunting to me, but seeing how sweet he was, I decided to try regardless. I always told myself I would never judge or reject someone for something they cannot control.

Fast forward now, we've been together for a little over a year. We are long distance unfortunately (though there's only a 1 hour drive between us, we don't get chances to meet all that often). We've met whenever we could, usually once every few months where either he visits me for the day, or I spend a weekend at his house (as much as I wish to, I cannot host him because of my parents being kinda shitty - his don't know about us but are very nice people that have always welcomed me into their home).

I am a person that's very into physical touch, perhaps to the extreme. Due to my past traumas, I end up being way too clingy sometimes.

My partner, being autistic, is on the other end of the spectrum. He may have some moments where he's feeling more open to touching, but otherwise can't really stand it, especially for more than a few seconds at a time from what he's told me.

In spite of this, I told myself I could work through this. But my troubles keep getting the better of me. We had our very first fight on new year's, when I was basically seeking to gain a little too much affection from him. I did not know at the time that he struggles with PDA too (even when only among safe friends that are okay with us). It made me feel like he was ignoring me, which bottled up and led to me snapping at him the morning after when he chose to watch TikToks in the corner of the room and sent one to me. I told him angrily that if he wanted to show me a tiktok, he could come over and show it to me since we were in the same room, not miles apart. I felt awful about it afterwards, but we moved on for the time being. We talked and had our fight, (during which he later admitted he was thinking of ending the relationship, because he thinks that ultimately I will end up feeling left out or ignored by him, and that it makes him feel very guilty because he simply cannot do more for me - he did get over it because we were able to communicate, reassure each other and established to always communicate clearly to each other what's on our mind).

Our one year anniversary in March went great. I visited him again and we both felt really good. No complaints from either of us.

This weekend, I visited him again, but I ended up being more clingly again. While we did feel good and had fun during these days doing different activities (such as going the movies, watching things at home etc), once I got home we got into another talk, that started when I told him that it felt a little like he started out with more energy on the first day (when he approached me/initiated physical contact multiple times) and that it kinda subsided over the other days. He told me that he still thinks I will end up feeling left out/ignored especially if we ever end up moving in together. I said that right now this is also being caused by us getting to meet so rarely, and that I am sure I would fare better if we were to live together because I'd be in his company all the time.

The talk wasn't a fight or intense like the new year's one, rather just a discussion that we once again cleared up by communicating. And I told him that as long as he genuinely likes me, I am happy, in spite of my struggles with affection.

I cannot guarantee myself that he isn't right - that I won't end up feeling that way again. When I get into a bad headspace, I find myself struggling to get out of it. Every small thing starts feeling like a whole rejection or attack in my head, which hurts even if I keep telling myself that I am exaggerrating at the moment.

My clinginess doesn't even have to do with sex. I'm fine with having sex more rarely, just as he is. It's the affectionate side that I seek so much.

I am going to therapy and trying to work through my struggles. And I've told him that. I have no reason to feel this way, when he's shown me time and time again that he does love me, in his own way. He wouldn't have wasted over a year with me if he didn't. He wouldn't have talked to me.

Yeah, I guess being more physical touch oriented is one of my needs, but I know that my clinginess and feeling rejected is irrational and nothing more than trauma responses. This is my first relationship. I know some people aren't meant to be. But I genuinely like him, if not love him. I love how passionate he is about his hobbies, his spirituality, his wits, just a lot of things that make me really like him. I don't want to throw away our relationship over something like this. I don't think I'd find someone as honest as him again.

I'm convinced I can make it work. I know I have to work on myself. But besides fixing my issues, how can I work on better understanding him and his point of view?