u/Dauntlesse

31F oh where do I begin. Ever since I was a little girl I was an artist. I worked two jobs to get through college, paid off my debt. I got internships to animation studios, famous studios that made a lot of our favorite cartoons growing up, got a career in both said studios (clerical) in it in hopes of jumping into the art side----literally at the very brink of my dream come true--only to watch it crumble during the pandemic and Hollywood essentially fall apart along with AI and outsourcing killing my industry.

I haven't held a stable job with a 401K and benefits since 2023, had to move in back with my parents and my dad just gave me the "talk" today about how he had to "adapt" in different careers and how he says I should do something else and that he supports me if I do.

I applied to nursing school earlier this month as my plan B, and I got in community college for some health pre-req classes. I start at the end of the month and I feel like a part of me is dying. Everything is unfair. I don't regret my time in my field but it hurts so very much. I met so many wonderful and kind people, bosses, friends, during my career and I hate that I have to make a hard decision and trade it for scrubs and security. Helping people does make me happy and nursing is a secondary interest of mine--but it's not my dream. And it sucks that we were told growing up that we could be whatever we wanted. That's not the case anymore.

I grew up in a poor immigrant household, and it would be nice to have some stable income again, and as I'm in my 30s now, I see the long road ahead and I am getting content having a job that I tolerate with stability.

The career change will not take away my art or my love of it, but I'll always think about "what if I had made it, what would have happened if I didn't change my mind"

I'm giving myself til the end of the year to fully commit to this new path, but mourning it is making me nauseous, sad, hopeless. I've been reconnecting with old coworkers without telling them this just in case, just one last time before I shut the door on it all.

Girl Dinner is a leftover poke bowl with tuna and salmon.

EDIT: To those saying "just use AI! get with the times!" my job is nonexistant because corporations keep merging and outsourcing to Canada/Europe. It's not as simple as adapting digital tools, but much more complex and involves billionaires buying up everything and not wanting to pay fair wages. In 2018 there were 40+ projects to jump onto, now I hear of barely 2 at each studio.

Knitting the Salty Days Sweater by Veronika Lindberg!

Been knitting this since end of February, I wouldn't say I'm the most advanced knitter, but this project itself has made me learn cables, lace, Italian bind off, twisted rib, and more. I feel stronger because of it! Love that it has a video tutorial but I'm super glad I'll be knitting a smaller project after this, phew!!!! Sleeve land here we come!

Using Phoenix Fiber Mill Indiecita DK in white held together with Goodyarns Bernie Alpaca mohair that has a polyimide core. Knitting with smaller needles and a smaller size to anticipate growth. Fits me well will probably fit better after blocking! :)

Knitting a sweater is a feat in itself, no wonder there's a whole curse behind it. It's made me respect sweater knitters.