u/Decent-One674

Hi everyone,

I’m a 28F living in urban India, and I’m specifically hoping to hear from women who are building their lives on their own not because they chose to, but because circumstances led them here.

I’ve been dealing with PTSD, depression, and GAD for a few years now. I’m in treatment (psychiatrist + therapy for 5+ years), and from the outside my life looks stable. I’m doing okay professionally as an Architect, brilliant record academically and I have supportive family and friends. Yet, it is not enough for me to sustain myself.

But internally, it feels very fragile.

A pattern I’ve noticed is that after setbacks, even relatively small ones, I tend to spiral into recurring suicidal thoughts. I’ve never acted on them, but their presence makes me question my emotional capacity to do life alone.

I’ve tried meeting people whether through AM or dating apps, but most experiences leave me feeling like I’m “too much” for Men to handle. Whether that’s fully true or not, it has been my repeated experience. Over time, it’s made me feel like building a life with someone may not be realistic for me, even though it’s not what I would have chosen.

So now I’m trying to come to terms with living a largely self-partnered life by compulsion, not choice.

I would really value hearing from women who relate to this—not those who happily chose independence, but those who had to accept it:

• How did you come to terms with this path emotionally?
• How do you build a life that still feels meaningful and not like a compromise?
• How do you handle the grief/resentment of “this is not the life I planned”?
• How do you create stability when your mental health already feels unpredictable?

I’m trying not to give up, but I also feel like I’m running out of resilience.

This is my first time posting something this honestly, so please share any resources or experiences for hope.

Hi everyone,

I’m a 28F living in urban India, and I’m specifically hoping to hear from women who are building their lives on their own not because they chose to, but because circumstances led them here.

I’ve been dealing with PTSD, depression, and GAD for a few years now. I’m in treatment (psychiatrist + therapy for 5+ years), and from the outside my life looks stable. I’m doing okay professionally as an Architect, brilliant record academically and I have supportive family and friends. Yet, it is not enough for me to sustain myself.

But internally, it feels very fragile.

A pattern I’ve noticed is that after setbacks, even relatively small ones, I tend to spiral into recurring suicidal thoughts. I’ve never acted on them, but their presence makes me question my emotional capacity to do life alone.

I’ve tried meeting people whether through AM or dating apps, but most experiences leave me feeling like I’m “too much” for Men to handle. Whether that’s fully true or not, it has been my repeated experience. Over time, it’s made me feel like building a life with someone may not be realistic for me, even though it’s not what I would have chosen.

So now I’m trying to come to terms with living a largely self-partnered life by compulsion, not choice.

I would really value hearing from women who relate to this—not those who happily chose independence, but those who had to accept it:

• How did you come to terms with this path emotionally?
• How do you build a life that still feels meaningful and not like a compromise?
• How do you handle the grief/resentment of “this is not the life I planned”?
• How do you create stability when your mental health already feels unpredictable?

I’m trying not to give up, but I also feel like I’m running out of resilience.

This is my first time posting something this honestly, so please share any resources or experiences for hope.

Hi,

I am 28F living in urban India. I am beginning to realise that I may have a recurrent vulnerability to suicidal tendency after any minor / major life setbacks. I have never acted on my ideation but it still exists. I need help understanding what that means for my future to my context. How do I build a life given my limited capacity without giving up?

I was diagnosed with PTSD, Depression and GAD 3 years ago. Since then, I have a trusted psychiatrist and on meds. I have a solid relationship with psychologist who I have been seeing since last 5 years and according to her I have been making progress but I cannot believe it. I am doing okay professionally given the hardships I had to face in my life. But now I have no reserves of resilience left in me. I have loving family and friends who try to support me in best way possible known to them, yet I am failing to recover or even have the will to go on.

This is my 1st reddit post. I don't even know what am I expecting by posting my inner turmoil here.