u/Deligas_Avelium

Did you guys all see that post where the two kitchencels contacted each other and things actually worked out great for them? Well I am here to report about the more realistic outcome. I'm definitely not jealous about it. Nope, not at all.

She was super cool. nice, funny, interesting, and literally one of the most beautiful women I’ve ever had the pleasure of bothering with my bullshit. Which made this entire thing so much worse. Things were, as you can imagine, entirely one-sided. I thought maybe there would be some way one day where she would look to me and be like "Yup, that guys definitely a pathetic loser, but he's my pathetic loser". But I was just the one loser she talked to when she had no one else to talk to.

:/

it sucks because she reminded me of my old friends. Guys and gals I haven't seen in ages, people who really helped me to become a better person. People I loved and still do love even if life pushed us in different directions. She was kind of like them. sort of wounded, funny, comforting. She helped me realize something about myself. Out of all the kinds of women I'm attracted to the ones I like most are nerdy, depressed, self-deprecating, kind, anxious little balls of stress who spend to much of their energy caring about the people around them. You know, nice girls, gentle girls, cuddly women who care about others and who look like they need a blanket, some tea and a nice guy who cares enough about them.

Women who make you want to take care of them. not in an ownership way (unless you are into that, jkjk.... unless???). More like let me carry this heavy thing for you, let me listen to all of your problems, let me be useful to you, let me be warm, let me do everything I can to help you carry that load and make the world slightly less painful for you. Now when I meet women like that I sort of freeze for a moment and lose focus. Stupidly embarrassing, I think she has spiritually damaged me. Was hoping we'd spend the next 40 years together. But she doesn't want me. she does not want me. She doesn’t want me :/ Got to repeat that to myself a couple of times, hurts a bit less each time. She's cool though and I still do wish her good, but friend just means friend.

So I'm still up for being a dumb, useful, loyal, affectionate, and a pathetic guy if it means there's a bit more mutual attraction this go around :) Applications are open for any kind of women, between the ages of 20-(me 25)-30, who want a obsessive loser to dote on her, you know ask about her day, try to remember the small things about her, worry about if she's even eaten today, maybe give her a bath. Only other real requirement is that you sometimes have to pick me.