I have a refurbished phone but it doesn’t work well
i was thinking of buying an iphone 16 because my understanding is that it doesnt have the chip made in Isreal that the iphone 17s have
Edit: am located in canada
getting a colonoscopy as someone with cfs
Lately I have been noticing I get big fatigue crashes if I dont eat and I know for this procedure a person has to do a liquid diet 24 hours before
Looking for advice on building self confidence
My experience growing up was with abusivee parents who purposely tried to sabotogue my confidence and ability to stand on my own 2 feet (they had cluster b personality disorders and wanted me reliant on them)
I now struggle with confidence in myself. I have done a lot of inner child work and worked on reliably loving myself. I still lack a lot of confidence out in the real world
Eg feeling safe, feeling confidence in my self and abilities at work and when trying new things, feeling confident to put up boundaries
As a child who was parentified (among other forms of abuse), I just recently realized that I wanted to avoid growing up because i had to be an adult so much in childhood, acting as a parent, therapist etc to my parent
I used to do things like want to hide my breasts when they developed, just stay in a childs body, i didnt want any womanly (sexual characteristics) about myself
I just realized that I have the physical hormones for sex but I guess for me accepting my sexuality felt like it brought on so much adulthood
or at least they (my parents) made me believe it did, as they were very rigid and religious in their views of sex and gender
there was (and is?) so much judgement and labels put around women’s sexuality, especially me coming from a religious background. So healing from my sexual trauma means healing in the sense of not feeling so affected by labels ppl want to give
Eg the fears i had are that if i became sexually active im more likely to fall into marriage ( marriage has always been a fear of mine)
if im married then ill be facing adult pressures and i was already too much of an adult in childhood
if im sexually active that usually invites drama into your life (eg feelings, confusion, relationship talks, breakups (i dont want drama i had enough in childhood)
if im sexually active too freely, society will judge me as a slut. if im sexually active into 30s and 40s ill be judged for not having kids
to me it felt like opting out of sex avoids all this stuff ( and it kind of does honestly and i want to give some respect to my younger self for putting my needs first in this way)
So what im trying to say is now i understand that I have been remaining mostly celibate because part of me associated becoming sexually active as having to be an adult all over again, when i had already missed out on my childhood (and some childhood developmental stages) and what i really needed was to be experiencing childhood
but i also feel like ignoring my sex drive is getting in the way of building connections. And i do have a sex drive and a bit of a genuine curiosity about it.
The phone is refurbished (Im not sure if that is the problem). I need 13 Gb of storage to do a new update.
I have deleted well over 10 gb of apps in order to temporarily make room for the update. It shows the full storage amount decreasing intially but then it fills up again?
At this noint i have deleted 1/3 of the apps off my phone and its still roughly the same amount of space i stared with. I have tried restarting, I waited 5 hours (although i did redownload one or 2 apps during this time period) the storage amount would fluctuate small amounts. I also took some screenshots and they dissapeared👍