I made a huge mistake of taking a program that I don't like but I feel like I have to continue
Hello, I'm a surgical tech student that started 2 days ago, but I basically took it because I wanted to make my parents happy but I've never been this depressed in my entire life.
This all started when I left the military because it just wasnt for me and my parents were not that happy at the time. So they wanted me to find a job real quick so I applied and got into a few dead end jobs that didnt go any where. Then my parents found about the surgical tech program, which I said yes just to make them happy. I spent around a year collecting credits with perfect grades and I was actually supposed to compete with other students with a skills assesment that they cancelled so everyone got in. Now after really seeing what the program is like, I just dont see myself being a surgical tech. I told my parents about this, had a longgg conversation, and they said that they didnt care what I picked and they just wanted me to have a career. I told them that I always wanted to do something related to construction and they say "but what specifically" but I never did research because I always felt like they never gave me a chance to do so. Now yall would probably say, just change the program easy right? This might sound crazy but I feel like I have to continue because they've honestly been so good to me compared to other parents. They let me play video games all day, they said I could just focus on college so I dont have to get a job, I have the second floor to myself, etc. So I feel like I should become a man and just endure these 2 years so I can have a good career and pay off the morgage. And Im honestly also blessed to be handed this opportunity because I know thousands of people would want this so I feel like if I quit now then I'll never be able to get it back. It seems like a fun job too but then when you do research, it just doesnt seem as fun as it sounds (toxic personnel, overworking, bad schedules). So Im just dreading these 2 years because I want to repay my parents and just be a person who doesnt throw away a great opportunity because its really not my thing. I also feel like im pressured to study hard everyday because its a hard course and I dont want to live everyday thinking about something that im not really into.
What do you guys think?