u/Depressobeans7

My (24f) sil (20f) wants to homeschool. She barely passed high school, and finished doing online homeschool.

I know that the schooling system doesn’t work for everyone. I know how beneficial and harmful both public school, and homeschooling can be.

I know I’m not the sharpest tool in the shed, but I know the basics. I Aced all my classes, and genuinely loved school. I would like to homeschool, I’m going to continue doing all the research I can, before I make my decision.

My sil wants to homeschool my nieces. She constantly tells me how “exited” she is to homeschool. At first I thought it was a typo. Then she continued using exited instead of excited. This isn’t the only word she misspells, but the most frequently used one.

Her toddler (3f) watches tv all day. If she’s awake, she’s watching tv. When I used to watch her, she had such an amazing vocabulary. Now that my sil is a stay at home mom, I need to ask her 5 times to repeat herself because I can’t understand what she’s saying.

She used to love reading with me, and playing outside. Now she throws a huge tantrum if she can’t watch tv.

I get so worried about my sil wanting to homeschool, just because I mentioned I would like to. She also had her second baby, only because she found out I was pregnant.

I know I sound jealous or a little crazy. But I’m serious, they only had their second because I told them I was pregnant. Originally they were going to try for baby #2 after they got married. Then last June I told them I was pregnant, they weren’t even engaged at this point. They looked at me and said oh we should start trying!

I don’t want my nieces to be stunted because of their dumb parents. My little brother thinks “daughter” is spelled “dotter” and it’s not in a fun quirky way. He is just genuinely stupid.

They have little to no math skills. They use the calculator for everything, and my little brother can’t even read an analog clock.

ETA: When we were talking about it today, she mentioned how she doesn’t want them in a classroom all day. And she plans on going up to my dad’s farm, to teach them about the cows.

Edit 2: I wouldn’t outright call her dumb. Just advise she’s probably not the best equipped to homeschool.

So would I be the asshole, if I told them I don’t think they should homeschool? And if I’m not how should I go about it? I was thinking during the next conversation about homeschooling. I would say something along the lines of, do you really think you are equipped to homeschool? I personally don’t believe that you are.

Sorry for the long read but help please!!

So i (24f) really don’t like my fiancés family. We’ve been together for 8 years now, I knew he had some people with records, but didn’t realize they have all had drug problems in the past.

I came from a very small town Christian household with “traditional values”
I’ve outgrown them for the most part but it’s crazy to me how much other families can forgive.

My parents never drank when I was growing up and quit smoking when I was young.

I was never around that environment, sure we went to bbqs that had some drunk people but that was pretty much it.

My fiance on the other hand, the majority of his family had gone to jail or prison, and all but like 3 people have been addicted to meth.

I have always had a hard time talking to them (I’m also autistic) but made small talk here and there. I was close with his parents but they both have passed away now.

So now here’s my issue.

We have a 5 month old, she’s the first baby in the family for the last 18 years, and everyone wants to hold her all the time. I’m a Sahm and have had a lot of childhood trauma and I hate when people wnat to hold her, unless it’s my family. (I know I have PPA)

The one time we went over there someone said “give me my baby” .. uh I did NOT go through 39 hours of labor for her to be called anything other then MY child.

Another time someone kissed her on the cheek.

They smoke in the house but I asked them not to when we are over. They listen but forget after they start drinking. At least one person comes in with a cigarette.

There’s some family that is up in my face talking to me, I hate that. I hate when people are trying too hard to talk to me. Like hello there’s other people that would probably like to talk to you can’t you see I’m uncomfortable??

They are constantly playing pass the baby which I also hate. Especially when she gets passed to the two that I will not invite to any of her events. I grab her immediately and say she needs a change or is hungry etc.

My fiance thinks I hate his family which isn’t entirely false. But every time we go over there it’s a big gathering. I can handle a small gathering and be totally fine.

But when there’s 10 people trying to talk to me all asking the same questions over and over it gets old fast. Especially when none of them reach out to either of us to ask how my baby is doing.

Anyway, I’ve mentioned that I get uncomfortable and overstimulated at these events and I’m not trying to exclude myself from the family but I don’t think i will ever be able to fully click in with his family.

When I try to bring it up he says he feels like I’m trying to tear him from his family, which is not my goal. I just don’t want to be the center of attention just because I have a child.

Can anyone help me try and figure out ways to either cope with the big gatherings or advice to get me not the center of attention??