I (F26) feel like I may have been groomed by my (M51) Fiance and I’m just now realizing it. Are we compatible because we have similar interests or was I groomed to think he’s perfect for me?
I met my now fiance when I was 20 (he was 44) and working in a bar. We instantly had a connection and I fell hard for him. He was going through a divorce and showered me with gifts and money . I really fell hard for him but when I graduated college I moved away . We kept in contact and he would visit me but we weren’t in a serious relationship. Fast forward to a few years later my job continently had me move back to my hometown , where we met and where he lived . (During this time I’m 23)We connected and reignited our relationship. Although it has been strong sometimes it feels like I’m an object of attachment rather than love. He always says how he’s always been attached to me and even only dated women who looked like me after our first time in relationship. We have a lot of similar interests and I love how he is . But he has changed a lot to seem to cater to my specific interests/type. I’m now 26 and sometimes I feel like I won’t find better since he showers me with love and gifts , but I also get the weird feeling like I need to be with someone my own age to feel normal.
Edit - it is clear I have not been groomed rather manipulated or love bombed .